To wonder why 20 something men seem to have a lax attitude to contraception?

[QuantumErica]

e.g "condoms unnecessary " etc

[Eebahgum]

Didn't realise they did but I'd guess it's probably part of their youthful "it'll never happen to me/throw caution to the wind" attitude.

[Cherryblossomsinspring]

Until it happens they don't realise how horrific the consequences are for them.

[keeptothewhiteline]

Do they?
Not in my experience.
Maybe the type of guys you are dating. I've always found men to be very responsible when it comes to condoms.

[QuantumErica]

My ex seemed to be very confident he could "hold back" (condom not necessary) iyswim

[QuantumErica]

keeptothewhiteline - it's good that you had a good experience. I've found men over 30 to be responsible in this department.

[keeptothewhiteline]

Many good experiences.
But those did involve two GPs and two PhD scientists.

[NRomanoff]

None of my male friends who are all in their twenties have a lax attitude. One has a daughter, who was conceived because the condom failed. He is still adamant they should be used, even though one failed for him.

[QuantumErica]

Glad you all seemed to have had good experiences with the 20 somethings - must've been the men I dated!!

[QuantumErica]

"I won't squirt I promise" (sorry tmi)

My 22 yr old ex's famous last words..

[keeptothewhiteline]

...what before you smothered him with a pillow?

[QuantumErica]

haha!! I had to take his word for it....

[NaiceVillageOfTheDammed]

Why did you have to take his word for it?

You are responsible for your sexual health and contraception.

[QuantumErica]

True and yes I won't make that mistake again. I suppose at the time I had confidence in him!

[cleanmyhouse]

Because apart from condoms and vasectomy, all methods of contraception are for women. It's been made into something women generally have to take responsibilty for.

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

my 19 year old and 23 year old are very responsible, I worked next door to the sexual health team and brought home a huge bag of condoms for them

[QuantumErica]

cleanmyhouse - yes I think that's true

[keeptothewhiteline]

OP- a man wouldn't get near me if his contraceptive plan was not to "squirt".

[QuantumErica]

StepAway - sounds like you've got a great relationship with your DCs :)

[QuantumErica]

keeptothewhiteline - with hindsight I thinks yours is a good policy.

[whitecandles]

All the British and European guys I've dated (and there were a lot) have been just as responsible as me with condoms - and there were a LOT in my 20s.

When I moved to Korea, I was surprised at how lax guys are here. All the guys I've slept with (maybe 5) have been quite shocked that I insisted on one. Considering that abortion is technically illegal here, that mixed race babies are very mich discriminated against, and that having babies out of wedlock is not normal, I can't quite believe this attitude. But they're all convinced they can't get diseases and that they can pull out in time.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

Erm, you are aware that the man doesn't have to ejaculate for conception to take place, right? Aside from STDs etc

Anyway op I think YABU to be demonising ALL 20-something men, that's clearly a daft generalisation, plenty of young men are responsible with contraception, and women can be lax and ill informed too. But maybe consider a stricter selection process for potential sexual partners?

[TattyDevine]

The majority of men I've been with have been dreadfully lax about it, always had to be brought up by me and often met with disappointment that I had.

One particular ex, who I didn't let do it without before he got a full clean bill of sexual health at a clinic (I grew up in the 80's and the drummed into us the HIV/AIDS thing which in those days was very much a death sentence) ended up getting "caught out" by a woman who wanted a child. Considering this guy never wanted children, his hatred of condoms was rather unfortunate.

He now has a 10 year old and still bangs on about how he was a victim of this woman.

[QuantumErica]

OneDay - I agree that most people on this thread seem have had good experiences with young men taking responsibility with contraception etc. My ex was just so confident that he could successfully 'hold back' at the time. I won't make the same mistake again!

[avocadotoast]

Majority of men I've slept with were in their 20s and responsible. In fact the only man over 30 that I slept with would ask if we could not use a condom (despite knowing I wasn't on any other contraception). Think you're generalising a bit OP.

[QuantumErica]

TattyDevine - my ex also wouldn't wear a condom so I can relate to your experience with your friend. Sorry to hear he was 'caught out'. Life is so unfair at times.