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TTC when I'm supposed to be a bridesmaid in 6 months

(44 Posts)
Vespar7 Tue 16-Jun-15 19:36:53

I'm a bridesmaid for my best friend and just found out the wedding will be in 6 months. I was about to start TTC this month but now I'm wondering if it's a bit selfish because my dress will need major altering if I do fall pregnant and I suffer with awful morning sickness for the first 4 months so won't be much help with planning. Even though she is my best friend I don't want to discuss it with her because I am a bit superstitious about falling/being pregnant. Should I just wait 6 months even though I'm desperate for a baby now?

rockybalboa Tue 16-Jun-15 19:38:27

God no. Just crack on. Who knows what will happen and over what timescale. You can't put your life on hold because of someone else's wedding.

Hamsolo Tue 16-Jun-15 19:38:29

No, don't wait. Don't hold up your life for someone's wedding. That'd be silly. You can always get a different dress!

Denimwithdenim00 Tue 16-Jun-15 19:39:11

No you can't out your life on hold for a one day event. It might take you that long to get pregnant anyway.

Life is too short to plan around a friends wedding.

Denimwithdenim00 Tue 16-Jun-15 19:40:06

Great minds and all that ^ ^ smile

Hotpotpie Tue 16-Jun-15 19:40:55

It took me six months the first time, it's so hard to predict I would just go for it

whatever22 Tue 16-Jun-15 19:43:21

Agree you can't put your life on hold for a wedding. (What if after waiting something else comes up? Etc)

But only you know how much it's putting your life on hold. I.e. my advice might be different for a 38 year old than an 18 year old.

lalalonglegs Tue 16-Jun-15 19:52:36

Honestly, in my day bridesmaids were meant to just turn up and not look prettier than the bride. Try to channel that vibe and don't worry about having a bump/not being able to help. Good luck with TTC.

Lucyccfc Tue 16-Jun-15 19:55:23

Crack on.

One of my bridesmaids was 7 months pregnant - no big deal.

Mitzimaybe Tue 16-Jun-15 19:56:05

Wow, you are an amazingly considerate friend even to consider this. If you were going to time it so the wedding day was your due date (after you'd been given say a year's notice of the wedding date) then as the bride I might be a bit hmm but still, a bride can't expect everyone else to put their lives on hold for her wedding.

What happens if she has a problem and has to rearrange the wedding?

Can you delay getting the bridesmaid dress? Some styles would look fine over a bump.

ChanandlerBongsNeighbour Tue 16-Jun-15 20:01:19

I was 8 months pregnant when bridesmaid for my sister. All bridesmaids had same dress, I bought the matching wrap and just had a seamstress friend of mine add in some extra panels at the front. Definitely go for it! Even if it happens for you straightaway, at four months gone you're unlikely to have much of a tum anyway (especially of your first pregnancy!) Good luck!

Onecurrantbun Tue 16-Jun-15 20:08:42

Go for it. I've just found out I will be 20 weeks pregnant at my best friends wedding - third baby too so likely to be huge! She was delighted for me. I've got a standby maternity dress which I can order next day delivery if I suddenly start showing the week before.

You really can't put your life on hold for someone else's wedding (however I've known people postpone ttc for what to me seem the silliest reasons - wanting to be able to drink at a certain event for example)

Nolim Tue 16-Jun-15 20:13:57

Not selfish at all. If she is a true friend she will be happy if you are happily pg.

DoNotDenyMe Tue 16-Jun-15 20:20:33

My best friend did when it was our wedding. I completely understood that she couldn't put her life on hold... it may have taken her months to conceive ( it didn't, she conceived first monthsmile )
We did end up getting her dress altered (well actually ordering a maxi version and altering that one), but I didn't mind - she's worth it grin

EatDessertFirst Tue 16-Jun-15 20:24:34

My cousin is due to be my maid of honour next August. Her and her DP are currently trying to conceive their second child. I would love her to be pregnant and I would never hold it against her if she was pregnant/nearly due/had a newborn/couldn't come. Life is too short and a wedding is just one day. Go for it!

Trills Tue 16-Jun-15 20:25:19

Just get on with it.

If you will be 3 months pregnant at the wedding and liable to puke during the vows then you may want to tell your friend a little bit earlier than you would do otherwise, that's all.

TheCatsMother99 Tue 16-Jun-15 20:31:00

My MOH was pregnant with twins when I got married & i couldnt have been happier for her. All we had to do was make minor (inexpensive) alterations to her dress just before the day so she was as comfy as poss.... Not a big deal & besides, who am I to tell her how or when to live her life?!

morelikeguidelines Tue 16-Jun-15 20:33:14

Crack on.

You may not conceive immediately anyway.

And you might be like me and not show all that much in first months (the most you could be is six months after all!)

ActiviaYoghurt Tue 16-Jun-15 21:01:47

Crack on, I married at 22 weeks. A true friend won't care one jot about dress.

ActiviaYoghurt Tue 16-Jun-15 21:02:36

My dress bought a year earlier didn't even need alterations btw

littlepeas Tue 16-Jun-15 21:10:50

I would just get on with it, you can't put your life on hold for someone's wedding. I did just this a couple of years ago when I was bm for my dsis - in fact I asked on here and everyone told me to go for it, but I decided to focus on my sister's wedding and ttc afterwards. I wouldn't say I regret this decision as such, but things have possibly turned out differently to how they might have if I'd just gone for it when it suited us, instead of planning around the wedding.

littlejohnnydory Tue 16-Jun-15 21:34:07

Don't be silly! I had a pregnant bridesmaid, I'm sure nobody expects you to put your whole life on hold!

whois Tue 16-Jun-15 21:34:19

Oh don't put trying to conceive on hold! You can always get a different dress or pay for alterations. How much planning is she expecting you to do?? It's her wedding...

Vespar7 Tue 16-Jun-15 21:40:11

Thank you for all your replies! I feel much better now! Will go ahead with the plan and see what happens!

awombwithaview Tue 16-Jun-15 21:55:38

I'm about to go to a wedding with two pregnant bridesmaids's really no biggie. Don't put it off,crack on! Good luck!

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