First time poster as I need some perspective. I want to be told to relax and it will be fine.
Getting married in November. Obviously it's a bit short notice so I've been venue hunting like mad and found one I really liked. Maximum 95 people. DP and I have drawn up guest lists which are 45 people each. Roughly half friends and half family. We've each got half our mutual friends on our respective lists.
I never wanted a big wedding but 90 seemed perfect as we know and love all the guests. DP has met all but one family on my list and they wrote to us both after we got engaged. I've also met most of his list although not as many.
I visited DPs parents for the weekend and they were pretty aghast at his list. He works abroad so he isnt often around to come with me to visit them. They added 8 more couples. These couples all have 2-3 children who range from toddlers to adults living away from home. DP says we would probably have to invite all their kids as other family on his list have kids coming.
So that's another 35 people. I've already decided not to take the venue I like to allow for more people on his side but they are hinting there are more relatives from America that might come and we need room for them just in case. So we should book a 200 person venue.
Relevant info- we are not having evening guests.
- My parents offered to pay for the original 90 people. They can't afford to pay for any more guests from our side to make up the numbers.
- My DPs parents have generously offered to match or exceed my parents contribution as they understand more people will be expensive
- We are having a civil ceremony at the hotel we choose. DPs parents were desperate for a church wedding so I've already let them down.
- I've never heard of any of these extra people in 10 years of knowing DP (we met in school)
So do I.
- Pick a huge venue and say go for it and be grateful that I have such generous parents and in laws.
- Pick my favourite venue with a reasonable capacity and tell them they can add some more people but not all.
- Along with DP tell them I'd rather not have so many people I don't know at my wedding and stick to a smaller number.
I'm probably going to do a mixture of the above but the whole thing is making me nervous. DP would like to invite maybe four of their extras but he is as stumped as I am about whether to invite grown up kids!
Please just tell me it will all be fine in the end!