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Calling DP 'hubby' when not married?

(662 Posts)
stqueen Mon 15-Jun-15 22:21:57

This is winding me up far more than it should be. I have a friend (actually one of my oldest friends who is lovely) who refers to her DP, in person & on social media, as her 'hubby' or 'hubs'. FB status posted at the weekend referring to her 'lovely hubby'. They are not married & never have been ! Many couples consciously choose not to marry & it isn't a big deal these days simply to have a long term DP. They have 2 children together so I suppose she feels married but I feel it makes a mockery out of those who ARE married! I have asked her why she does it, she simply says she feels married & he is her DH in all but a marriage certificate. As I said, this is winding me up far more than it should be, perhaps I have too much time on my hands noticing these things but she's done it for years & its really starting to get on my nerves! AIBU?

Wheelerdeeler Mon 15-Jun-15 22:23:57

Yes. Makes no sense. If she wants a hubby then she should get married..

steff13 Mon 15-Jun-15 22:24:51

She's unreasonable for using the terms "hubby" and "hubs."

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 15-Jun-15 22:25:27

YAsssooooooNBU. "Hubs" Bleugh. envy Even if they were married.

However the word came from 'head of the house' which is not true in this house and we are married. grin Possibly she wants to marry and he doesn't so that would be sad.

scarletforya Mon 15-Jun-15 22:25:48


You feel it 'makes a mockery' of those that are married?


gobbynorthernbird Mon 15-Jun-15 22:25:53

The word 'hubby' would make me want to poke her in the eye with a sharp stick, married or not.

Hassled Mon 15-Jun-15 22:26:05

Is she dropping very heavy-handed hints to her DP?

goldeline Mon 15-Jun-15 22:27:00

Those words make me gag. Anyone would be unreasonable to use them, regardless of their marital status.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Mon 15-Jun-15 22:27:42

"Hubby" makes me think of an obese man in double beige with continence issues.

Minisoksmakehardwork Mon 15-Jun-15 22:28:37

Perhaps they eloped and forgot to tell everyone?

goldeline Mon 15-Jun-15 22:28:52

But YABU for being bothered by it.

flowery Mon 15-Jun-15 22:29:21

She is BU for using hubby/hubs whether she's married or not.

You are BU for thinking it makes a mockery of married people. Who on earth cares what stupid pet name she uses for her partner and why does it affect anyone else?

Isn't it like some men refer to "the missus" about their partner even if they're not married?

Branwell Mon 15-Jun-15 22:30:27

I can see why those horrifically twee terms irritate you. I can't see why you feel her use of them 'makes a mockery of those who are married'. Unless you mean on grounds of taste?

LadyCuntingtonThe3rd Mon 15-Jun-15 22:32:43

She is probably trying to make him marry her.

caravanista13 Mon 15-Jun-15 22:32:45

Ridiculous! Of course she can call him Hubby - it doesn't affect anyone else. Can't understand why other posters are so condescending.

keeptothewhiteline Mon 15-Jun-15 22:32:48

My OH and I refer to ourselves as "husband" and wife. We are not married, it is just the most accurate description. Partner sounds odd, boyfriend trivial.
I don't know why it bothers you OP- it isn't impacting on your relationship.

bluesbaby Mon 15-Jun-15 22:33:35

Why does it matter to you what she calls her partner? Maybe she feels as good as married already.

morelikeguidelines Mon 15-Jun-15 22:33:39

It's a bit sad really as it looks like she wishes they were married.

stqueen Mon 15-Jun-15 22:33:40

grin yes, both terms are gag inducing married or not. . .but it winds me up so much more due to the simple fact it is not a 'true' statement.

Reading my OP, the mockery of marriage bit does sound a bit dickhead-ish hmm - I think what I'm trying to say is I don't like people trying to be something they aren't. If she wants to call DP that in private, happy days, but why put it all over social media / use in conversation? It drives me mad but I think I need to get a life & stop being pathetic BU.

ThePinkOcelot Mon 15-Jun-15 22:34:34

Making a mockery of those that are married?! Seriously!!

UnsolvedMystery Mon 15-Jun-15 22:34:37

You can hate the terms but why on earth do you care that she uses them when she's not married? How on earth does it affect you?
It doesn't make a mockery of anything! You are being slightly ridiculous to think that it actually matters.

MyNightWithMaud Mon 15-Jun-15 22:34:48

The word 'hubby' would make me want to poke her in the eye with a sharp stick, married or not.

Precisely that.

keeptothewhiteline Mon 15-Jun-15 22:35:26

So what if it isn't true- she is not defrauding anyone.

Eigg Mon 15-Jun-15 22:35:40

It's not unreasonable to object to the use of hubby but to be honest her marital state has no impact on you, or on any other married couple.

She may be annoying but she's not hurting anyone.

patienceisvirtuous Mon 15-Jun-15 22:36:28

I think you are being mean. It's not your business, leave her be.

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