to think they never should have let her in in the first place?

(23 Posts)
Alloalloallo Mon 15-Jun-15 09:42:13

I've name changed for this, it will out my location and a few friends post on here too so I don't want it to be linked to my usual user name.

First up, I must say I'm not passing the buck. DD (13) is in a lot of trouble. She lied to us and did something she was expressly forbidden to do. DH and I (and her friends' parents) are dealing with them.

We had a music festival here this weekend. We sometimes go as a family, but this year decided, for various reasons, not to go. Lots of DD's school friends were going and she had been asking if she could go to but we said no. We weren't happy with DD being there without us. We didn't have tickets so if anything happened we couldn't get in to get to her and according to the festival's website unaccompanied children are not allowed in anyway. I also just don't think that a music festival is a safe or appropriate place for an unaccompanied 13 year old

So, Saturday she asks if she can stay over at her best friend's house. I knew her BF wasn't going to the festival either, checked it was OK with BF's mum (who is also a friend of mine) and dropped her off there in the afternoon, had a cup of tea, arranged to pick her up the next day. That's was that.

Until 9pm. I get a phone call from BF's mum. DD and BF and another friend had got some children's festival wristbands and had gone in (DD and BF had lied to BF's mum that they were going to the other friend's house).

Now, obviously the girls are in big trouble, however, I'm also annoyed that they were let into the festival in the first place.

They had children's wristbands (free) which are for 12s and under and it states on the festival website that unaccompanied under 17s will not be allowed into the site. There are also Teen wristbands which are for 13-17 year olds.

The girls are 13 and 14, clearly nowhere near 17 but older than 12, but even if the security at the gate weren't sure about their ages, they were wearing children's wrist bands. They should have had their bands removed and sent on their way.

Now, kids try and sneak in there every year, always do, always will, but AIBU to think the security on the gate should be following their own rules? The wrist bands are quite clearly children's, nothing like the adult ones. They have a little chip in and each band is scanned when you go in and it flashes up on the scanner screen that it is a child's band, so there would have been no hiding the fact that they were children's bands and shouldn't have been allowed in

WorraLiberty Mon 15-Jun-15 10:04:22

Yeah they probably lied though and said they'd just popped out and their parents were at the festival.

AuntyMag10 Mon 15-Jun-15 10:05:44

Yanbu, that's unacceptable that they allowed her in. She had a child's band so how were they allowed in unaccompanied?? I would be contacting them asking them just that. As for your dd, she's clearly proved that she can't be trusted.

sanfairyanne Mon 15-Jun-15 10:13:55

as worra says

they lied already. they probably lied some more to the people on the gate.

MaxPepsi Mon 15-Jun-15 10:20:12

They probably tagged onto some likely looking adults and said they were with them but had just lagged behind.
Or that they were just in front of their parents and pointed at some appropriate looking adult.

EponasWildDaughter Mon 15-Jun-15 10:22:00

Yes i'd feel the same as you OP, and i think an email to the organisers would be an idea. Although, to be honest, i doubt anything will come of it sadly.

The chipped wrist band system they were running sounds like a good one, but security is only ever as good as the people running the system on the day. And on that day the people were slap-dash.

answersonapostcardplease Mon 15-Jun-15 10:22:53

You are passing the buck. The. Security are damned if they do etc

VanitasVanitatum Mon 15-Jun-15 10:23:25

I'm with Max, kids aren't stupid and it's very easy to look like part of a group at the gate.

PurpleCrazyHorse Mon 15-Jun-15 10:24:45

I'd flag it with the festival organisers but in an information sort of way, I'm sure the girls were very persuasive with the gate staff if stopped.

The issue is with the girls lying, they knew they shouldn't go, they would have known they shouldn't be allowed in unaccompanied yet talked their way in. Who knows, they could have tagged along with another family, going in as a group and therefore hidden that they were unaccompanied.

ScrambledSmegs Mon 15-Jun-15 10:40:07

I think you should let the festival organisers know. I know you're probably furious with your DD and she's in huge trouble with you, you've said as much in your OP, but the organisers should really know that their security has a problem with identifying and dealing with unaccompanied minors.

However, don't phrase it as being annoyed at the festival organisers. That's misdirected anger.

Alloalloallo Mon 15-Jun-15 10:56:51

Thanks all!

They girls all say, and I am aware that truthfulness isn't high on their agenda at the moment, that they weren't questioned. Just scanned and let through.

I was just talking to my neighbour who was there this weekend and she said that she saw loads of kids being allowed through, maybe it's an issue that needs to be bought up with the organisers. The festival is licensed by the council so if it becomes a problem it may affect their licenses in the future

I am utterly furious with DD, she is in a lot of trouble. I have absolutely no trust in her anymore so all the privileges she has acquired are gone.

Moreisnnogedag Mon 15-Jun-15 11:10:43

When do you get the wristband? Is it only issued to adults and therefore assumed that if a child has one they must be accompanied by an adult iyswim?

Alloalloallo Mon 15-Jun-15 11:15:29

The child wristbands are initially issued with an adult wristband.

They're free, so a lot of people order the maximum amount of child wristbands they're allowed then sell them on for £10 or so on the local Facebook selling sites - which is where DD and her friends got them from

It's something that's been happening for years, and the organisers are fully aware of so they shouldn't assume that just because someone has a child wristband that they're with an adult

Moreisnnogedag Mon 15-Jun-15 11:25:32

Ah right I'd drop them a line but tbh by the sounds of it they know it happens and don't care.

I get that you're annoyed with dd too but I think this is just a distraction.

frostyfingers Mon 15-Jun-15 11:28:59

I'd definitely raise it with the organizers, but in a friendly way rather than going in all guns blazing.

They need to know that their systems are not working, if they know that already then they need to be told to tighten the rules and implement them.

UniS Mon 15-Jun-15 11:32:54

Gate staff won't remove a child's band and send them packing if child says they are with " my dad over there". Can you imagine the trouble there would be if they did that to a child whose parent really was on site.... The best you can hope for is the child being taken to " lost children " and the phone number on the wristband called. But your dd lied, used a black market band and almost certainly didn't have your phone number on it.

Your under 16 is your responsibility not the festival staff's.

sanfairyanne Mon 15-Jun-15 11:39:31

is there a particular reason unaccompanied children are not allowed in or is this really to protect the festival organisers from gangs of feral children? it sounds like you are thinking of it in terms of say selling alcohol to underage kids, or their safety, but the rule might only be to protect the festival organisers, hence why they are not that bothered about unaccompanied 13 year olds

Szeli Mon 15-Jun-15 13:01:24

I work gates at festivals and as pp said if the genuinely didn't get a random adult to 'accompany' them correct procedure would be to try call their parents or get them escorted to welfare/lost children.

If this wasn't happening the festival organisers do need notifying for the post show reports so something can hopefully be done for next year.

fwiw I'd be more than fuming at dd, what a stupid position to put herself in if she was mine she wouldnt be going next year!

Alloalloallo Mon 15-Jun-15 13:28:08

Thanks all!

The no unaccompanied children is in their own policy which was submitted to the council when the licence was agreed.

All 3 girls say they weren't questioned, just scanned and let through. I was taking that with a pinch of salt, but from talking to my neighbour earlier she said she saw loads of unaccompanied children let through when she was queuing to go in.

We have another big festival here later in the summer. We went last year. We were all in the queue together but DD1 ended up being scanned by a different member to staff to me, DH and DD2. She was questioned and they wouldn't let her through until we'd confirmed she was with us.

If they're finding a random adult who agrees to accompany them through then that's one thing, but I don't think they're even being questioned. Obviously it totally depends on the member of gate staff, but I think it's something the organisers/council should be addressing.

And no, she won't be going next year. We have tickets for another festival later this year and I don't think she'll be going to that one either. She won't be going anywhere for a while.

Szeli Mon 15-Jun-15 13:36:47

Thing is if it were one of my staff they'd have one more chance then be removed from site. It's quite a big mistake as it impacts the license (certainly at our shows anyway and they all tend to be run fairly similarly) and safety of customers, especially minors, is a top priority.

Please do complain; nothing can be done about the staff members now but the promoters will know which company was where so further training can take place. In fact if you know which security company was on the gate I'd be tempted to drop them an email too

BestZebbie Mon 15-Jun-15 14:48:50

If they are 13 it isn't that amazing that they got let in on wristbands for up to 12 year olds, surely?

Szeli Mon 15-Jun-15 14:53:22

That's not the issue best on the u12 wristbands they should only be allowed in with an adult and they got thru unaccompanied

vaticancameos Mon 15-Jun-15 14:57:26

They've got quite a lot of initiative and drive. Bet they tagged on with the family infront of them.

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