watching tv..

[upthehillanddown]

No idea if this is unreasonable or not, I've lost the plot. DP (not living together) said he'd come over after he'd watched the footy at 7pm. I thought we'd spend the evening together but he said he was tired so went home at 8.30 for an early night. But he actually watched another match when he got home. I'm p*ssed off because I looked forward to an evening together and he didnt. And why not just say he was watching it, why pretend he was tired? AIBU feeling annoyed?

[JeanSeberg]

World Cup I presume? What's he normally like?

[upthehillanddown]

Like this really. :( its just annoyed me this time. I was looking forward to an evening together.

[Theycallmemellowjello]

Yes that's rubbish op. Is he worth it?

[upthehillanddown]

That's what I'm wondering jello. :(

[JeanSeberg]

How long have you been seeing him?

[upthehillanddown]

3 years jean

[ilovesooty]

England were playing in the evening match.
He was probably unreasonable to have offered to come over at all. If he wanted to watch it he shouldn't have said he was coming in the first place.

[ilovesooty]

Sorry I misread that. Who was playing later? I'm puzzled now - I thought the England match would still have been on at 8.30?

[pressone]

Slumping in front of the TV is a completely different thing to visiting a friend/girlfriend/boyfriend and being in guest mode - even if you are 3 years into a relationship and are very comfortable with each other.

I have friends of 20 or 30 years standing who really wouldn't care if I fell asleep on their sofa, but if I say I am too tired to visit, or want to go home early do not expect me to go home and to bed.

I think it is perfectly normal to be a couch potato in front of the telly when tired.

However there are other issues here that worry me, you describe him as a partner, although you don't live together, or (and assuming here) have shared finances/children. You are annoyed at something he does regularly but he does not take account of this - does he know this irritates you?

I would be concerned that you are not on the same page as far as your relationship is concerned, you see him as a partner, he treats you like a girlfriend. He either continually does something that annoys you (red flag) or he doesn't know it annoys you (different red flag).

I think you two need to have a talk about your individual expectations of this relationship, communication and consideration.

[upthehillanddown]

Thanks all. Sadly I've given up "having talks" with him, nothing changes if I do. Probably the end of the line really. Anyway thanks.

[WindMeUpAndLetMeGo]

If football is on then you stand no chance!!

Would you have wanted to watch the footie with him? If not then it's only going to get worse!

As PP have said sitting slobbing on your own sofa is different to spending time with someone.

[HereIAm20]

Maybe he didn't realise the other match highlights were on until he got home. I also agree that its a bit different to just go home and slob out in front of the tv. I watched it in bed.

[ilovesooty]

So did I. Relaxing in your own space isn't the same thing as having to connect with someone else.
Perhaps since you don't appear to have similar interests it's indeed best to move on.