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To be shocked that he has a kid?

(121 Posts)
WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:30:38

A friend of a friend is a professional racing driver. I've followed his career on and off and even been to watch him race a few times.

I found out yesterday that he has a kid (a son). He's never mentioned having a son in the four or five years I've known him and it's blowing my mind. I think it's wonderful- I bet he's a great dad and his son has a wonderful life.

I just can't wrap my head around the fact and I feel kinda silly. Brain keeps going 'he has a kid?! It's just so weird to me because I've never seen him as a Dad before now. AIBU?

PeppermintCrayon Sun 14-Jun-15 21:32:34

He's a friend of a friend. Why would he mention it? Why is it weird? Because he's a racing driver?

YABU and frankly a bit weird.

pictish Sun 14-Jun-15 21:35:52

Yes yabu. There's nothing for you to have to wrap your head around. It doesn't concern you.

WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:36:41

We're actually a pretty tight group these days. smile We interact outside of the racing world too.

It's weird to me because I talk about my daughter a lot, even just in passing. I think most parents do.

Like I said, I think it's wonderful that he has a son and I bet he's a fantastic dad.

NotGoingOut17 Sun 14-Jun-15 21:37:19

Yep, bit of a strange reaction to finding out something about a friend of a friend. Do you have a crush on him OP?

Also, strange Q to ask on an internet forum - we don't know him so won't see him having a child as shocking, perhaps we'd understand more if we knew him as someone who didn't seem like a 'children' kind of person. Maybe a Q for people in real life? There are people in my life who i'd be shocked to find out had children but i wouldn't expect people on the internet to be able to comment on why I'd find it strange...

LynetteScavo Sun 14-Jun-15 21:37:48

So a friend of a friend has a are finding this difficult to process know you know.

YABU to be shocked.


pictish Sun 14-Jun-15 21:38:58

You sound...starstruck?

WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:39:03

pictish, he bought my daughter christmas and birthday presents the last two years. I feel bad now because I didn't get his son anything and I would have loved to.

I really shouldn't have put a friend of a friend- yes he started out that but now thinking about it we're friends in our own right. Sorry for any confusion. smile

TommySlimfigure Sun 14-Jun-15 21:39:40

He might be a good father, he might not be. How can you say that you bet he is!!

Are you still at that stage of life where you can only contemplate a romantic relaitonship with somebody if they have a complete blank canvas. Ie, no xh, no child.

I agree with other posters, I wouldn't necessarily mention my children to a friend of a friend, although, I think it would come up over the course of five years. How regularly do you see this man?

LynetteScavo Sun 14-Jun-15 21:40:19

A friend of a friend is a professional racing driver. I've followed his career on and off and even been to watch him race a few times. But you're also a pretty tight group.

Which is it?

If you'd just posted a friend or an acquaintance has a child they'd never mentioned it would make more sense.

paxtecum Sun 14-Jun-15 21:41:11

I'm thinking he may not be a great Dad if he's never mentioned his child.

TommySlimfigure Sun 14-Jun-15 21:41:21

Well, in light of the fact that you ARE friends and he bought your own daughters presents, it is an odd detail to hold back. And still, you found out from somebody else, not through him.

I wouldn't go racing to assume he's a great father.

minionmadness Sun 14-Jun-15 21:43:04


Incidentally what was the point of saying he was a "professional racing driver" confused

DinosaursRoar Sun 14-Jun-15 21:44:01

Hmm, I think it would be weird if I was friends with someone for years and they never mentioned they had DCs, even when I was talking about mine, not even a "oh yes, I remember going through that stage" or "oh we've got all that to come!"

Oddly, I wouldn't think he was a good dad if his DS isn't on his mind much, to never mention him seems like he doesn't think about him much, particularly if he's talking to someone who is talking about their DCs.

Glitoris Sun 14-Jun-15 21:45:48

How present a father is he in reality?If he has never once mentioned him...even when the subject of children is brought up...then If I was to jump to any conclusion then it would be to think that they aren't in close contact.I don't know how you're suddenly betting that he's a great Dad at all ,or that his child has a great life?? confused

You sound like you have a crush that has passed on to the 'imagining a blended family' fantasy I a million miles off?

CheekyNandos Sun 14-Jun-15 21:45:52

I sort of get where you're coming from OP and no, you're not necessarily BU.

WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:47:33

We both travel a lot so see each other once a month or so? (In person- we text/email/whatever.)

TommySlimfigure- I'm married so nope, not looking for a relationship past the friends stage. (And hubby has kids from another marriage.)

LynetteScavo- motor racing really isn't my thing, so I don't follow his career in minute detail. I get the highlights, if you see what I mean?

I want to be clear that I don't mean this thread in a bad or mean spirited way- I guess I'm just used to parents talking about their children. Just this morning I was talking to the cashier (who I don't know from Adam) in the garage about her daughter.

WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:51:30

DinosaursRoar- that's what I mean. Stuff like kids normally comes up in conversation, y'know?

Haffdonga Sun 14-Jun-15 21:51:56

Your post sounds weird because you tell us all about his career first. Why? What's that got to do with anything? Sounds like showing off

If you had just said I have a friend who I've known quite well for over two years and he never mentioned that he had a child. Is that weird ? We'd agree YANBU.

WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:54:32

I'm sorry, Haffdonga, it wasn't meant to be showing off or come across like that. I just just trying to set the stage, so to speak.

WorraLiberty Sun 14-Jun-15 21:55:45

So to sum this up...

A friend of a friend has a child that you didn't know about


And you're asking if you're being reasonable to be shocked?


Errrrr yes YABVU.

Hellolemonade Sun 14-Jun-15 21:56:56

You sound like you've got a massive crush on him.

WanderWomble Sun 14-Jun-15 21:57:17

You wouldn't find it strange that someone you've known for a while has a child and has never mentioned the fact?

Midorichan Sun 14-Jun-15 21:57:38

I've found that some men don't bother mentioning their kid because they want to flirt freely, or whatever (seem available), to the women they know. For whatever reason. Sad. But sometimes, true.

arethereanyleftatall Sun 14-Jun-15 21:59:41

I also cannot understand why you've told us his job. How is that relevant?

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