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The MI6 advert on Mumsnet Jobs

(34 Posts)
MurielWoods Sun 14-Jun-15 19:28:41

To be a little bit disappointed?

They are recruiting for a Software Specialist but I can't help feeling that Mumsnetters have acquired a specific set of skills over the years that would make us ideal candidates for espionage.

My particular skills would be:

Being unnoticeable - as a middle aged women I am practically invisible in crowded places so I would be great at 'hiding in plain sight' providing that there were loos nearby

Uncanny ability to spot a 'bad-un' - after years of lurking on the relationship boards I think I could smell a baddy a mile off.

I'm a light sleeper - thanks to my knackered pelvic floor muscles I am awake a lot during the night grin

What would be your secret agent skills?

HermioneWeasley Sun 14-Jun-15 19:30:46

Like you, as a middle aged woman I am invisible.

But I have no attention to detail and need regular snacks so am probably not ideal spy material

TheSkiingGardener Sun 14-Jun-15 19:35:38

A sixth sense that something is Going On in the vicinity. At the moment mine is honed to small child mischief but I'm sure it could be retrained.

MrsWembley Sun 14-Jun-15 19:43:21

I have this amazing ability to seem less intelligent than I actually am.

<remembers many, many conversations with men who end up looking quite surprised at things said>

I can also sober up incredibly quickly. Vital in situations where having fun suddenly becomes serious.

SaucyJack Sun 14-Jun-15 19:47:32

I have an excellent memory for detail.

I have you all mentally spreadsheeted.

MrsWembley Sun 14-Jun-15 19:48:17

<runs away>

plutonimum Sun 14-Jun-15 19:49:08

Darlings, we are the software. We'd be continuously uploaded to "clean skins" and spend our "career" in a perverted Buddhist wheel of existence in world hotspots.

Mmmm, sounds fun! wink

FoylesForBooks Sun 14-Jun-15 19:50:01

This made me laugh! Great thread.

I know when my children are even thinking about planning something naughty.

YoniMitchell Sun 14-Jun-15 19:52:11

I can do any number of tasks one-handed while using the other to hold Velcro child and have the multi-tasking skills of a multi-tasking ninja.

KingTut Sun 14-Jun-15 19:52:52

I have a sixth sense and eyes in the back of my head.

Trebushay Sun 14-Jun-15 19:59:52

I can multi task, plan a house move, remortgage, child rearing and childcare juggling whilst my husband thinks I am sitting doing nothing at all!

SuffolkNWhat Sun 14-Jun-15 20:11:06

I can stop an errant school child with just a look and the raise of my eyebrows. Russian spies have no chance against me.

Nevercallmehun Sun 14-Jun-15 20:12:46

I have a death stare. Stops children in their tracks. Was once upon a time used against wolf whistlers and sometimes bad drivers.

Nevercallmehun Sun 14-Jun-15 20:17:02

We could be a team Suffolk.

SummerHouse Sun 14-Jun-15 20:18:45

I see what's going on here op. Or should I say m

I know you are trying to recruit us.

I know it all.

When ds said to me earlier "what? Why are you looking at me?" I knew he was about to bite his nails.

I anticipate everything. My speciality is foreseeing injuries to under 5's.

<emoticon in a mask>

CaTsMaMmA Sun 14-Jun-15 20:19:13

i also have the look... effective against husbands, children, recalcitrant pensioners and officious shop owners

i love to drive at speed, and rarely get burned off at lights. I own a seiceneto.

i am not afraid of dogs

i built an entire ikea kitchen assisted by three under fives and a cat with a leg in plaster.

i have an uncanny ability to know what people have done, mainly by following the trail of abandoned coats/keys/bags/cups/shopping/general clutter, but that could surely be refined and put to good use when tracking double agents.

CaTsMaMmA Sun 14-Jun-15 20:20:50

seicento ..i am no Moneypenny when it comes to the typing.

SummerHouse Sun 14-Jun-15 20:21:33

cats you had a cat with a leg in plaster? Hope its ok now. grin

DoItTooJulia Sun 14-Jun-15 20:23:10

I'm like Angelina Jolie in Mr and Mrs Smith. I can catch a falling roll of foil with my eyes shut. And the jar of pesto as it tumbles from the fridge.

CaTsMaMmA Mon 15-Jun-15 20:31:07

She is fine summerhouse...the under fives are all now strapping teens!

it was a broken paw, and she gave my mother a nasty turn by removing and leaving her little cat cast on the stairs. grin

Buttermilly Mon 15-Jun-15 21:24:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji Mon 15-Jun-15 21:52:34

I'm quite good at reading upside down and in reverse.
Good navigational skills and good spacial awareness.
Solving problems.
Keeping a cool head in an emergency.
Easily underestimated, particularly by men, particularly physically.
Very skinny and will be able to sneak in through very narrow places (although a bit less now).
Good at the death stare.

However, terrible for faces and names. I'd probably confuse an enemy spy with a friendly agent (and would probably claim they were double agents).

Lweji Mon 15-Jun-15 21:54:45

Forgot that I can recall the episodes and plot of most cartoons DS watches. So, excellent memory skills.

CalleighDoodle Mon 15-Jun-15 21:59:37

As a mother, teacher and ex wife of a passive aggressive man, i can spot a lie instantly.

storybrooke Mon 15-Jun-15 22:02:29

I could be used to relay decoy information. I'm crap a bit useless at keeping things to myself. grin Hence dh just reading everything I've ever posted on mn hey honey waves

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