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To wonder if I might be asexual?

(7 Posts)
IceCreamAngel Sun 14-Jun-15 17:15:42

Is it possible I could be an asexual?

I can't be bothered with relationships. I'm that weirdo that you probably all know that's always single and people have given up asking me if I'm in a relationship. I've never had any desire to be in one ever, as a teenager I remember being really confused when all my friends suddenly became obsessed with boys and getting a boyfriend but I just didn't see the point. I didn't get it, I used to get crushes on celebrities but that's as far as it went. I wondered if maybe I was gay, but nope I didn't want a girlfriend either. So this went on for years, I could look at a man (or woman) and think yes he/she is good looking but that's as far as it went. I wondered if maybe i was just a late bloomer and I'dwake up one day and it would all click into place but it never did and here I am in my 30's and nothing has changed.

It's not that I dont find people attractive, I do but its so incrediably rare that it hardly ever happens. These people always seem to be unavailable as well, so maybe its a psycholgical thing? But then the definition of asexuality is not finding people attractive ever, and I obviously so just not very often and in the wrong circumstances.

I just want to know what I am? I know I am different, I know some people thing I'm weird and strange. Does anyone else feel like this? Some people think Asexuality doesn't exist and it's all psycholgical.

It's getting me down a lot without having bothered me until now. What is wrong with me?

helenahandbag Sun 14-Jun-15 17:19:41

Asexual people can find people attractive, the same way that a straight woman knows when another woman is good looking but she doesn't feel sexually attracted to her.

Some asexual people fall in love and have a loving, companionable relationship without sex. You would need to find another asexual person for this but it can definitely happen! Or you can be single if relationships just aren't your thing at all.

spillyobeans Sun 14-Jun-15 17:25:02

If you dont want a relationship, not lonley etc then why force it? If youve got friends and feel like socially you are getting the amount of companionship you want then dont beat yourself up!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Sun 14-Jun-15 17:27:10

You're not a weirdo. I hate that word .Not having a partner hanging off your arm does not make you abnormal!
Yes you could be asexual but what's the big deal. No law that says you have to be "at" 25 hours a day 8 days a week. The main question is are you happy and does you life work for you

IceCreamAngel Sun 14-Jun-15 17:36:11

My life does work for me, I suppose society conditions us to think that sex is the be all and end all and we have to be in relationships to be a normally functioning person.

I'm just suddenly conscious of the fact I am different.

batfish Sun 14-Jun-15 17:42:39

It makes me sad that people feel that they have to be the same as others to be 'normal' - and what even is normal? Whether straight, gay, asexual or anything else you shouldn't have to worry about what other people make of it as long as you are happy with your own life. But it is the sad truth that you do worry about it because there are so many people who judge. I don't have any advice really but just wanted to say I'm sorry that society makes you feel like you are abnormal just because you don't have a desire to be in a romantic relationship, I hope you can find a way to not worry about it and be happy with your life as it is.

IceCreamAngel Sun 14-Jun-15 18:03:42

Thanks batfish

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