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AIBU to say to DH: You do your washing and I'll do mine?

(186 Posts)

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OrangesLemons Sun 14-Jun-15 08:08:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WinterBabyof89 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:11:45

Sounds like a good plan to me!

I do all the family washing atm (SAHM & I enjoy sorting the washing because I'm weird like that).. I do not iron though.
DH irons his, I iron mine - when needed..

Thurlow Sun 14-Jun-15 08:13:34

For years DP and I used to do our own washing. Only stopped when we had DD and it seemed a bit silly. Having said that, I still don't put his away in drawers.

It does depend on the division of other housework though, it would be a bit anal to complain about this if he is doing plenty of other stuff. But not if he's not.

VikingLady Sun 14-Jun-15 08:13:56

I stopped doing DH's washing when he wouldn't put it away, output his dirty stuff in the basket. He lasted a month before he apologised for making my life harder and he's a lot better now. So worth trying!

Euphemia Sun 14-Jun-15 08:14:35

No. I usually put the washing on on a Saturday, DH and DD hang it out as I go out on a Saturday morning. I bring it in, make a pile for ironing, and put a pile of DH's clothes on the chair in his study (his wardrobe and chests of drawers are in there), a pile on DD's chest of drawers, and put my own stuff away. Job done.

This week, DH put the washing on on Friday morning as he was working from home and it was a beautiful day. I brought it in, etc.

It sounds like the two of you need a grown-up talk about the division of labour.

florentina1 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:15:02

We had a similar row 30 years ago. I just stopped doing any of his washing and ironing and have never done it since. Strange thing was, after 2 weeks he employed an ironing lady. I don't think I would have any discussion about it just stop doing it.

Icimoi Sun 14-Jun-15 08:15:48

Yes, everyone in our house does their own washing

LabMonkey Sun 14-Jun-15 08:17:28

I do most of the washing but I no longer put DHs away, he never did mine or DDs so I don't do his now. He washes his own work uniform separately and irons it. I don't do ironing and as I do everything else I don't see why I should.

I work 90% due to childcare, all of my non work time is spent with DD. DH works shifts, is rarely on his own with DD and has days off during the week on his own\with his crew mate.

mrsmeerkat Sun 14-Jun-15 08:17:32

I do all the washing here. When dh complained about the collar of one of his work skirts not being ironed with attention I ceased all ironing for good.

I bet he regrets that !

I just put all his washed and dried clothes into a bundle and he puts away.

He would do washing but its such a nusiance when he does it. He is very very slow and keeps moving it arou d between the bannisters and airing cupboard an it pisses me off hanging around for days .

PurpleWithRed Sun 14-Jun-15 08:17:48

Well whether it's a good idea or not you've got to follow through now!

AppleAndBlackberry Sun 14-Jun-15 08:17:58

Yes, we do this and I tend to do the children's as I work part time, but DH does his own. We're not religious about it, he did 2 loads for me and the children this week and I put some of his things in too, but generally we're responsible for our own clothes.

OrangesLemons Sun 14-Jun-15 08:19:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MythicalKings Sun 14-Jun-15 08:19:14

We do it between us but each puts their own washing away. If I've taken his out of the tumbler I put it on the bed for him to deal with and he does the same.

Ironed clothes we each put our own away. He'd get it wrong.

ahbollocks Sun 14-Jun-15 08:19:21

Yanbu- me and dh had similar rows because he didnt carry hiw washing downstairs and it is really not my job to drag his dirty pants down 3 floors.
Works really well smile for me

OhEmGeee Sun 14-Jun-15 08:20:20

I don't put DH's washing away and he doesn't put mine away. I just leave him a pile. I don't see why it's an issue. He certainly doesn't see it as my job, I don't sort his work clothes.

Whatabout Sun 14-Jun-15 08:20:32

We do our own washing as I am too lazy to put my own washing away so he stopped doing it. I may become a SAHM for a bit in the next year. I'll probably do his washing then but I wouldn't put away.

038THETA Sun 14-Jun-15 08:20:45

It's a no brainer for you OP, please do it and let us know how he responds.
My guess is that he will find some way of increasing your burden on the domestic work front so that the division of labour feels ‎'right' to him.
In other words he will look for some way to make sure that you are still doing the lions share of the donkey work ‎

OrangesLemons Sun 14-Jun-15 08:21:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

038THETA Sun 14-Jun-15 08:24:19

is he aware that things will start to smell if not hung out to dry fairly quickly?

(and if not will you let him find out the hard way?)

TheHappinessTrap Sun 14-Jun-15 08:27:24

We've always had separate laundry baskets for our own stuff, and I do the house laundry and am happy to. We both make beds and get out fresh towels. Our discussion has never been who washes what but when. He wants to do his on Friday evenings so he can iron his work shirts in front oof the tv after i go to bed, so I do the rest Saturday morning. Just have a chat about what you both want and a part of that will include not doing things if you feel taken advantage of.

petalsandstars Sun 14-Jun-15 08:28:21

I will sort out the washing (not putting his away) provided DH is pulling his weight with the rest of the chores. If he slacks then the first thing to drop is his washing. He then starts to pull his weight again. If it weren't like training a fucking puppy it would be amusing angry

Superexcited Sun 14-Jun-15 08:32:41

I am a full time SAHM and we split the washing equally but DH does most of the hanging out and he does much more than half of the ironing (including mine and the children's clothes). He only puts his own away though and everyone else puts their own away. I wouldn't want him to out my clothes away because he wouldn't know where I want certain things to go.
I wouldn't do separate washing just because we have a large load washer and it is far more economical and environmentally to do full loads.

EatDessertFirst Sun 14-Jun-15 08:32:59

We both wash everyones clothes depending on who is in when it needs doing (both shift workers, DP full time, me PT). I iron kids stuff, DP irons work shirts and chef jackets because I'm rubbish at collars etc. We all put our own dry clothes away. I do the majority of the rest of the housework/childcare because I work less.

diddl Sun 14-Jun-15 08:33:39

I don't go out to work, I do all the washing & ironing, but I don't put anyone else's washing away!

I used to put the kids stuff away when they were younger, but no more!

Had no idea that that was part of the job as well!

038THETA Sun 14-Jun-15 08:33:41

But who is training who Petals?
He is making sure that you have to be the one to monitor the housework situation ‎

These domestic struggles can be intractable sad

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