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to think that this was a bit cheeky and they should've taken a card and gift?

(75 Posts)
bostonbaby Sun 14-Jun-15 07:56:08

Old friend of dh got married.
They invited mil to the wedding. There was one of those money for honeymoon cringy poems in the invitation. So, as a gift, mil gave them the use of her property abroad.
They were thrilled with it as the flights there are quite cheap and properties on her complex rent out for 1k a week (only mil and her kids families stay-doesn't rent hers out)
So they toddled off on their holiday, 2 small kids in tow.
2 weeks later, they posted the keys back through mil's door in UK. Didn't knock on to hand them back, didn't send a thank you card, bottle of wine, not a 'thank you we had a lovely time' nothing.
We have also since found out that her parents joined them towards the end of their stay and didn't fly back until 6 days after our friends. Stayed in mil's place!
Aibu thinking that they have seriously taken the piss here?
mil doesn't know her parents from adam and doesn't rent her house out. And they never even said thank you! £2K of accommodation and they couldn't stretch to a tenner for a card and wine angry

Dailylurker Sun 14-Jun-15 07:58:29

That does sound incredibly cheeky, a knock and a thank you is the least they could do.

Sockmatcher Sun 14-Jun-15 07:59:05

Yes very rude!

Rosa Sun 14-Jun-15 07:59:50

Not cheeky but rude. Any form of wedding gift should be followed up with a thank you , either written or in person.

ceebelle83 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:02:34

YANBU. They have massively (and ungraciously) taken the piss. I hate how entitled some folk get round their wedding. I can't actually believe the brass neck of the parents! That's utterly disgusting form tbh.

NRomanoff Sun 14-Jun-15 08:02:39

Are you sure they stayed in the house? How is that possible if they posted the keys.

But yanbu that's so cheeky

Susieswinger Sun 14-Jun-15 08:03:31

Perhaps they are going to do their wedding thank yous all together? With those cards that some people get with a wedding pic on? She should have been in touch immediately though because it's your MIL's house just to confirm they'd had a lovely time and the house was left as it was found etc. Rude rude rude to allow her parents to stay without asking !!

But.... It's not 2k of gift is it? Your MIL didn't pay 2k for the gift, she owns the house. It's a nice gesture but it didn't actually cost your MIL anything did it?

AnaisB Sun 14-Jun-15 08:05:40

A postcard would have been nice! - but maybe they will do all the thank-yous in one go. It would be a bit rude to give bigger thank-yous for higher value gifts.

paxtecum Sun 14-Jun-15 08:06:16

Susie: it did cost MIL.
MIL paid for the electricity for the visitors.
Also wear and tear has a cost.

bakingaddict Sun 14-Jun-15 08:11:17

The accommodation was a wedding gift and they have only been back from their honeymoon for 2 weeks. Maybe you are jumping the gun a little bit and they are getting round to sending out the thank you notes.

Do you know for sure that the parent's stayed on at your MIL's place? Did your MIL not specify to return the keys once they got back to the UK. I would not allow somebody to hold onto keys to my property after the duration of the holiday.

MsAspreyDiamonds Sun 14-Jun-15 08:11:26

I would be tempted to say that I didn't receive the keys and see what they say. I would also send their parents an invoice as they weren't invited to stay at the property, it was a wedding gift to the couple. They knew they did wrong by not mentioning it to your MIL & sneakily posting the keys through the door.

I would also change the locks because you don't know if they have made copies to use at a later date. Very bad manners.

Icimoi Sun 14-Jun-15 08:13:54

You said they were "thrilled". Does that mean they thanked your MIL when she first told them about it?

mindthegap79 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:23:42

MsAspreyDiamonds hmm

Yes it was rude, but it sounds like they thanked her at the time - you said they were thrilled, so I assume they must have.

Maybe they were in a rush when they popped the key through. Just ask them outright if their visitors stayed in the house and say you're not happy about it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 14-Jun-15 08:30:33

Did the honeymooners post back the keys after the parents had returned from their extra six day holiday , they didn't get extra keys cut?

Extremely rude and I would let them know how fucking rude I found them to be, no moral high ground from me on this one.

EveryPenny1 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:31:57

It doesn't matter if they said thank you before they went, they were very rude to put the keys through the letterbox and not hand them over in person. If they had additional guests use the place after they left then they are really taking the piss and I would have to comment on it!!!!

hibbledibble Sun 14-Jun-15 08:47:44

Maybe a thank you card will arrive later? It's normal for the couple to write them a few weeks after the wedding.

Posting them through the letter box is rude I agree.

From your op it isn't clear. Did they post them in a letter through the mail? Or did they personally pop them through the letter box?

PtolemysNeedle Sun 14-Jun-15 08:52:00

Two weeks isn't very long for wedding thank yous after the honeymoon, I'd give it a bit more time before getting annoyed.

desertmum Sun 14-Jun-15 08:55:39

I agree with changing the locks (remembering the other thread about villas), Regardless of the actual cost to MIL it is a very generous gift allowing someone to stay in your home, and it saved them a lot of money in accommodation for their honeymoon - and as such shouldn't be taken advantage of. I do hope the parents staying in it after they left is a misunderstanding and didn't actually happen - if it did I would be tempted to send them a bill.

tobysmum77 Sun 14-Jun-15 08:56:48

I think you need to get a hobby wink

NickNackNooToYou Sun 14-Jun-15 08:59:29

I guess their rudeness has scuppered their chances of going again. A card saying thank you is the least they could've done.


namechangefortoday543 Sun 14-Jun-15 09:02:00

Wasn't there a thread on here where a holiday home was lent to the neighbours who had keys cut and kept going for years after ?
Get your MIL to change the locks !

QuintShhhhhh Sun 14-Jun-15 09:02:41

I would be more worried they did not knock to talk to mil when they handed the keys back - anything could have happened! Breakages, water damage etc

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 14-Jun-15 09:07:28

tobysmum what ? shock

This is a perfect AIBU; holiday villa, a wronged MiL, money grasping honeymoon poem and piss taking friends who freeloaded.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sun 14-Jun-15 09:08:42

namechanged yes the Mexican house thief, it's in classics within a thread somewhere.

CombineBananaFister Sun 14-Jun-15 09:13:51

YANBU - the lack of card thing for such a generous gift is crap manners but may still come when they've got their heads out of their honeymooned arses.

The inviting of parents who weren't included in your MILs gift is outrageous and think I would actually confront them about it, total pisstake and a real breach of trust as your Mil doesn't know them at all.

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