I have NC as this might out me and I will try and keep it breif.
DH cares for a family member, not immediate family, he isn't terminally ill and is quite independent but disabled and occasionally falls or injures himself or generally needs support so he is allocated about 35 hours a week care from social services (if that gives anyone an idea of the level of care required) he has required this care for nearly 20 years, DH mum has taken a back seat and left it all to DH, DH brother and his wife (no children or commitments) have not and will not help with this relative in any way, he has other people around yet the care has been put on me and DH.
I am heavily pregnant (due any day) and I have a toddler who has been quite poorly this week and not sleeping well, DH worked all week which resulted in me having to cancel important ante natal appointments as I couldn't take DS with a contagious illness. Family members gave us a wide birth as they didn't want to catch what DS has.
So last night DH was working a night shift and I had finally managed to get me and DS off to sleep around 1:00 when I got 2 missed calls and a voicemail from relative asking for me to come over as he had an issue at home, DH couldn't get out of work and nobody else was answering the phone, I explained I couldn't come as DS was in bed and I was home alone and it would have to wait, it wasn't a personal care issue he had damaged part of his house.
Sorry if you are still with me I'm nearly finished. So next week when I am due (and its DS birthday) DH parents, brother and sister and this relatives dad are all leaving the country for 10 days, leaving us in charge of the relative and I am terrified that something will happen to him while I am in labour, I have chosen a home birth in case of this so we aren't stuck at hospital but I feel like we really need and deserve a break.
AIBU to tell DH we need to either arrange alternate care for this relative or tell PIL they need to start taking responsibilty for him? Or do I sound like a diva and cruel for not showing the relative more compassion? Had about 12 hours sleep this week so I'm running on empty.
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AIBU?
We are exhausted!
14 replies
Pepperonipeteczar · 14/06/2015 06:11
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