Me or DH being U?

[namechangedincase23]

Last night was DHs birthday. We had a nice day went out for a lovely meal. All good.

After the meal we went to get a film from Sky Box office, but there was a problem and I had to call Sky.

Much drink had been taken by this point

I rang Sky and the man in the call centre had a very sexy Scottish accent. I was a bit giggly and a bit flirty in my tone. DH was right next to me and it was on speaker. I didnt say anything inappropriate and just thought it was a bit funny.

Then DH punched me really hard on the leg. I have a bruise and it hurts to walk on.

I went to bed after he punched me.

This morning he is not speaking to me. He has grumpliy apologised when pushed but said I was out of order and he's now glaring and not speaking.

Who is being U? I am really upset that he hit me and that he is tryongt to carry on a row when I am prepared to let it go and have apologised for being a dick when on the phone to Sky

[LovelyFriend]

A punch that leaves a bruise isn't a Hit.
Has he been violent to you before?
Of course he was completely U and you can call the police if you want to.

Let me guess now he is going to sulk and stonewall until you get over yourself?

[Fatmomma99]

it's never acceptable to use physicality against someone weaker than yourself.

End of.

YANBU

suggest you wear a short skirt or shorts today so the bruise can be seen, and if anyone asks you about it you say "Mr Namechanged punched me"

[Cookiecake]

He punched you? That's not normal or ok behaviour. if it's left a bruise then he obviously did it pretty hard so wasn't playing about. It's riddixulous he's not speaking to you when he's in the wrong. Is he usually like this or is this a one off incident?

[gobbynorthernbird]

How do you even need to ask the question? Your H punched you, that's never a reasonable thing to do.

[mrschatty]

Ynbu he acted out violently he needs to nip that in the bud NOW and if this is a running theme you need to evaluate your relationship

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

You could call the police they could tell you if he was UR or not, they will be very helpful

[SunshineAndShadows]

You shouldn't have to apologise. He's being ridiculous and abusive. Yes you were being a bit silly but seriously - did he think you were going to run off with the random sky call centre guy?

Nothing excuses him physically assaulting you and now gas-lighting you to make you think this is your fault. He's an abuser - if you ignore this behaviour you're giving him permission to do it again.

[Only1scoop]

He punched you on the leg

I get the feeling he's done similar before.

[MsVestibule]

That's awful - is this the first time he's physically abused you? I would not be prepared to let it go, but that's easy for me to say when I'm not in your abusive relationship.

[Ledkr]

Oh come on, you must know that isn't acceotable.
Have you been together long because domestic abuse (and that is what this is) usually starts small and escalates with the offender playing it down or excusing it each time.

[acatcalledjohn]

Even if the flirty behaviour was out of order, physically attacking someone is a wholly inappropriate response. On that basis he IBU.

[namechangedincase23]

He's saying it's all my fault and making me out to be in the wrong and is just sitting there angry. I've apologised but he's say things like "If you're like that when I'm there what are you like when I'm not"

[ollieplimsoles]

He's a prick.

Actually punching you over a jokey phone call, ruining his birthday night and then been all pouty and pathetic the next day?

Get out now.

[EeyoresTail]

Does he have jealousy issues?
That was a huge overreaction

[iwanttogotothechaletschool]

Of course he is saying it is your fault, classic behaviour in domestic abuse. Has he hit you before?

[MsVestibule]

I know this is slightly off topic, but I'm so pleased that nowadays the police would take this sort of thing seriously, rather than treat it as a 'domestic'.

namechanged, I get the impression you won't go to the police this time, but remember that what he has done is illegal. If/when this escalates, Women's Aid will be able to advise you.

[namechangedincase23]

Yes. He has huge jealousy issues.

[nilbyname]

Leave him. He physically assaulted you. The won't be the last time. What will it take for you to leave, a black eye, a cracked rib, a punctured lung?

What if he punched you in front of your kids? What if he punched your children?

Call women's aid.

Leave.

[peggyundercrackers]

You are both unreasonable. You for flirting with someone else and him for punching you.

It's interesting that everyone has focussed on his behaviour. I wonder what the outcome would have been if OP came on her and said her DH was flirting with someone else in front of her and she said she slapped him. She would have we got praise for her actions and everyone would have been telling her what an arsehole her DH had been...

[weaselwords]

"If you've like that when I'm there what are you like when I'm not"

Unbruised and not punched. Perhaps find out how you are without him for the rest of your life?

[TendonQueen]

Be angry right back. Tell him that he punched you and there is no reasoning that can make that your fault. Tell him you're going out to decide whether you can continue to live with someone who punches you.

[Whichseason]

If he is saying it your fault he is telling you that if you do anything he does not like again he will physically assault you again. What would you tell your best friend to do in this situation?

[TendonQueen]

Peggy no, I've seen threads where a woman has slapped her partner and been given a right telling off for being violent.

[namechangedincase23]

We had sex this morning when we woke up and he was affectionate and fine. Now he's up the anger has started.

[DipsoHippo]

I can't imagine any scenario, no matter how bad /annoying /inappropriate/disrespectful my actions or behaviour was (or otherwise), that my husband would lay a hand on me.

It is not on, ever