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To think it's rude to say you're not attending a retirement drinks party because you 'have a life'

(38 Posts)
balletnotlacrosse Fri 12-Jun-15 22:43:05

Our lovely and very popular boss is retiring next week. He has organised drinks and finger food in the conference room and his wife and children and grandchildren will be attending as well as most of his colleagues.

When I asked a colleague if she was going to it she just smiled disdainfully and said 'God no, I have a life'.

AIBU to have felt like kicking her up the arse? Fair enough if she's busy, can't get a babysitter or somesuch. But a rude, superior response like that just strikes me as obnoxious.

AuntyMag10 Fri 12-Jun-15 22:44:43

Yanbu, she May have better things to do but there's no need to be rude about it.

GenerationX2 Fri 12-Jun-15 22:46:47

YANBU - how horrible - some people just believe they are too cool for office socializing, really it just makes them dicks.

Awks Fri 12-Jun-15 22:48:37

Bless her. She'll be old herself soon and will realise what a fool she was.

ilovesooty Fri 12-Jun-15 22:51:26

Yes that response was rude.

Janethegirl Fri 12-Jun-15 22:54:22

Very rude, just say you can't attend due to prior commitments ( you could be cleaning your bedrooms, guinea pigs hutch, whatever!) but you can't just be rude about the invitation.

MsVestibule Fri 12-Jun-15 22:55:31

Very rude - the not-terribly-subtle implication being that anybody who does attend clearly has a boring little life, unlike hers. How old is she?

Annunziata Fri 12-Jun-15 22:58:05

Very rude. Awful.

susanstryingterm Fri 12-Jun-15 22:58:37

In my experience, people who 'have a life', have one because they are nice people who are happy to spend time celebrating with others or putting time aside for them.

People who bang on about having a life are usually trying too hard to prove something.

UterusUterusGhali Fri 12-Jun-15 22:58:54

What a twat!

(Her. Not you.)

LovelyFriend Fri 12-Jun-15 23:00:17

There was an almost identical thread to this a few months ago.

Yes rude. Some people are. Best to focus on those who aren't. She sounds socially awkward and defensive.

SeraOfeliaFalfurrias Fri 12-Jun-15 23:01:59

Well, she's going to be bitterly disappointed by the level of attendance at her leaving do, isn't she?

MammaTJ Fri 12-Jun-15 23:02:26


That is all I have to say, the time will come when KARMA bites that person on the bum.

It will happen. You will get to watch although it may take time. Just stand back and watch from a distance!

susanstryingterm Fri 12-Jun-15 23:05:05

However I bet there will be posters piling on soon to say YABU because I am an introvert/live twenty miles from work/have no baby sitter because that, of course, excuses rude and ignorant comments such as your colleague's. ( I have read the previous thread)

LovelyFriend Fri 12-Jun-15 23:07:14

Oh greAt I didn't imagine it grin

highkickindandy Fri 12-Jun-15 23:07:57

remember that for when she retires and consider how much time, effort, money etc to put into her leaving's fine not to want to go or be able to go, no need to be rude

Alice1983 Fri 12-Jun-15 23:08:33

That's disgraceful! !!! angry

sonjadog Fri 12-Jun-15 23:09:03

Very rude response to any invitation, no matter what the event is.

DramaQueenofHighCs Fri 12-Jun-15 23:09:33

She's NBU to not go to the party, she WAS being unreasonable to be rude about it.
No matter what her reasons were there is no need to be rude! I have social anxiety myself and when I cant/don't want to attend events due to my anxiety I always make up a polite excuse (or with closer friends tell the truth) there was no need for her to be rude at all!

susanstryingterm Fri 12-Jun-15 23:09:49

No, you didn't imagine it. I was gobsmacked by the defensive responses and the total twisting of what the OP had said.

lydiarobinson Fri 12-Jun-15 23:13:30

I have met people who have this standoffish rule that they don't 'do' socialising with people from work. Says a lot more about them than the colleagues they disdain.

mrsfuzzy Fri 12-Jun-15 23:17:41

she could have handled it a lot better than she did.

ouryve Fri 12-Jun-15 23:18:35

What an infantile, churlish response. YANBU. What's wrong with a simple but polite "sorry, I have prior commitments" ffs?

Justawaterformeplease Fri 12-Jun-15 23:23:07

Is she quite young? I remember thinking (but not saying!) something similar when I first started working and everyone was getting excited about the work Christmas party - to me, it was just one in a series of Christmas piss-ups and they were talking about it like it was the highlight of their year.

If anything, you should pity her. She'll look back in a few years and cringe, hopefully!

Peacheykeen Fri 12-Jun-15 23:29:25

Sounds like something I would have said when I was a 15 year old know it all twat. A simple I'm sorry but I have plans that evening would do.

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