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To buy a birthday present for toddler, even though his mum has said not to?

(13 Posts)
IUseAnyName Fri 12-Jun-15 18:47:59

My ds is going to a 2yr olds birthday party soon. She is a similar age and we met through a plaugroup, although we meet up lots outside of playgroup too. The mum and I have become friends.
She is having a birthday tea for her ds, a handful of other friends/children of a similar age are invited.
She's asked everyone not to bring presents as it can be overwhelming for ds.

Now I'm wondering what the etiquette is in this situation, whether she was being polite and would be disappointed if no presents were brought, or I'm worried that I dont bring one and be the only one not to :/
What do you do?
Wibu to take one after she's asked not to?

ashtrayheart Fri 12-Jun-15 18:49:44

Maybe put a 5 pound note in a card?

addicted2cake Fri 12-Jun-15 18:51:14

Or a voucher in a card?

Nolim Fri 12-Jun-15 18:52:01

I would comply with the host. Maybe some guests cannot afford a gift and would not attend if gifts were expected. Those guests would feel bad if ppl bring presents.

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Jun-15 18:54:11

She's said no, and said it could upset her DS if you do... so why would you be considering ignoring her request?
Next time you meet up with them, maybe give him a small bar of chocolate or similar "for being such a good boy at your party", if you really want to.

Lurleene Fri 12-Jun-15 18:54:11

If you really want to take something you could take some food for the party.

HarrietSchulenberg Fri 12-Jun-15 18:54:14

I would do as she asks. She's probably tryong to avoid having an overwhelmed child and a house full of plastic shit.
Remember child is probably getting a shedload of presents from family and probably does not need any more.
The treat is having friends round for tea, not the acquisition of stuff.

MisForMumNotMaid Fri 12-Jun-15 18:57:14

You could have a little something in your bag that wouldn't offend that you could have just incase. Even something like a pot of bubbles loosely wraped might go down well - even as a parting gift.

If you don't want to arrive empty handed why not take a nice tin of biscuits or similar.

LokiBear Fri 12-Jun-15 18:57:30

Id put a soft play voucher in the card.

ImSoCoolNow Fri 12-Jun-15 18:58:01

I agree with money in card or voucher.

At Christmas I saved and saved to get my 3DDs their 'santa' list. They all have plenty of toys and I was trying to cut back on all the extra nonsense as they end up with too much. I asked everybody to just buy clothes as they had enough toys and I'd just spent a fortune on brand new ones and, to be honest, they really needed new clothes.

Everyone got them toys and I felt slightly disrespected as I'd specifically asked them otherwise. But I understand you would want to get a little something. Money or voucher definitely the way forward

IUseAnyName Fri 12-Jun-15 19:18:56

Thanks everyone.

Nolim... I don't think that's the case.

Harriet.... I'm exactly the same when it comes to plastic shit, I hadn't really thought of that as the usualy presents I get for these types of parties is a book.

It sounds like I shouldn't take one though, I was thinking of maybe a nice chocolate bar from our local chocolate makers, or a voucher. Maybe I should have something in my bag just incase smile

Wasn't sure whether people say it to be polite though?

CMon Fri 12-Jun-15 19:38:57

I think you shouldn't take a present or give a voucher. You could take a bunch of flowers for the Mum if you really want to take something.

biggles50 Sat 13-Jun-15 00:01:49

A bottle of wine for the mum or chocs.

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