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to be weirded out by women in the supermarket

(110 Posts)
weirdinsupermarket Thu 11-Jun-15 15:50:47

... who come up to me and say "My goodness, haven't you got a lot of food! Do you have a big family?"

There are only two of us, and only likely to be so due to infertility. I have to hold it together for a bit, and then I come home and cry.

My trolley is full because I grow lots of my own food and I only shop once a month, so I have lots of cans, UHT milk and juice, and packets of dried things like pasta.

This happens to me every single week. I'm afraid to say that it is invariably said by a woman over the age of 60. I know it isn't meant badly, but I can't explain why my trolley is full without going into details that frankly make me want to howl with the pain of it all.

I realise I am very, very lucky to be able to fill a shopping trolley once a month. I know I am being unreasonable and over-emotional and silly, that other people can't be expected to know my personal circumstances. I'm starting to dread shopping, though.

sad

Baies Thu 11-Jun-15 15:52:11

I think you're overthinking this! Just say ' I only shop once a month ' or just smile and nod and ignore

weirdinsupermarket Thu 11-Jun-15 15:52:49

Sorry, not every week, every time. Typing too fast and too emotional sad.

Lilymaid Thu 11-Jun-15 15:53:18

"I only shop once a month" ... "This happens to me every single week" ??

Wolfiefan Thu 11-Jun-15 15:54:29

I'm so sorry.
Perhaps smile maniacally and shriek "well we all need to prepare for the coming nuclear winter don't we?"

TheXxed Thu 11-Jun-15 15:58:52

Just say you can't speak English and mumble something in a foreign accent

TheFillyjonk Thu 11-Jun-15 16:01:06

I can see why that would hurt. Why not do an online food shop? If you're only buying once a month and buying loads of bulky stuff, I can't see why you'd put yourself through going to the supermarket.

electionfatigue Thu 11-Jun-15 16:02:40

how bizarre. why do people find it acceptable to make such comments?
next time I'd be tempted to reply "yes and I'm teaching my children not to make rude comments to strangers in supermarkets"

WorraLiberty Thu 11-Jun-15 16:04:25

Huh?

Is it the same woman who keeps asking?

Just tell her it's your monthly shop.

PurpleSwift Thu 11-Jun-15 16:06:14

How does it happen every week if you only shop once every month? It seems like a throw away comment just smile and nod.

gamerchick Thu 11-Jun-15 16:09:49

Widen your eyes and lower your voice as you whisper about the impending zombie apocalypse with big nods.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:15:56

How much do you have in your trolley?? I have tons and no one has ever said anything to me.

StarsInTheNightSky Thu 11-Jun-15 16:16:15

I'm really sorry, other people feeling the need to comment on what is clearly not their business is one of my pet hates. I would just tell them bluntly but politely about your difficulties and tell them that comments like that make you go home and cry. That's what I did after our numerous pregnancy losses, and when people see DS and ask when he's going to have a sibling (never you rat bastard, we're amazingly, miraculously lucky to have him). If you don't feel like that, how about something flippant like, "well normally I just kidnap someone and eat them slowly, but then I found out that there were these things called supermarkets..." all said whilst eyeing up the person thoughtfully. I've done that too. I'm a bit weird I think!
On a serious note, its crap and people can be endlessly thoughtless, hope you're OK flowers

BIWI Thu 11-Jun-15 16:21:31

You're shopping once a month but this happens to you every week? Are you sure?!

Why did you need to create a username just to post this?

I can get that you are upset about fertility issues, but I think you're being a little over-sensitive here. All you have to say is that it's your monthly shop.

... and then pass the time of day with the person who is really just making a friendly comment.

Sanityseeker75 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:22:16

flowers you could just draw a deep breath and say "wtf has it got to do with you" whilst smiling sweetly or don't hold back the tears and that would soon shut them up.

I don't get why it is anyone else business and the only time I would comment in a supermarket is when people rudely refuse to say thank you when I move out of their way or wait to let them through. It would never occur to comment on someone else's shopping although I do occasionally have food envy when seeing others shopping on the conveyor

cjt110 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:22:19

I like the zombie/Apocalypse/children comments above.

You're in a supermarket. Unless it's the same old bag woman, you;re not likely to see her again so just ignore her and walk past. Or look in her basket/trolley and comment "oh you're not eating that are you, I hear it's terribly unhealthy." Or just say what's it got to do with you, you aren't offering to pay for it are you love? grin

I'm sorry such supposedly harmless comments cause you upset. I'm sure they aren't meant that way flowers

0x530x610x750x630x79 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:24:21

I think you need some help, you are very very upset about your fertility issues, this really is just an innocent nosey comment.

helenahandbag Thu 11-Jun-15 16:25:49

That would piss me off even without the backstory. I'd probably have said something like, "no, I'm just a fat fuck - do you want some of my crisps?"

Nosy bastards.

HolgerDanske Thu 11-Jun-15 16:27:46

Awwww no I can totally understand what that would upset you sad

They're not trying to be horrible though.

Maybe do your shopping online?

flowers

SaulGood Thu 11-Jun-15 16:31:13

I shop once a month and have 2 children. I bet my trolley is fuller than yours and not a single person has ever said a word. I've never been in a supermarket and seen people make random comments to total strangers about what they're buying.

Yet this happens to you every single week when you're doing your monthly shop, however that works?

Seriously?

AuntyMag10 Thu 11-Jun-15 16:33:37

Really hmm

BabyGanoush Thu 11-Jun-15 16:33:45

It is just lonely women being chatty/sociable I imagine

They probably don't really care who it is for, just a talking point.

Just nod and smile and walk on (works for many situations grin)

VirginiaTonic Thu 11-Jun-15 16:34:32

No-one has ever commented on what I'm buying, whether a full trolley or half empty. I find it strange how some people manage to get into so many weird scenarios in the supermarket.

Whattonamemyselfnow Thu 11-Jun-15 16:36:10

You must have a really friendly face as no one speaks to me in the supermarket.
And I mean that genuinely. You need to develop what is it.... Sad resting face

Whattonamemyselfnow Thu 11-Jun-15 16:36:28

And then no one bothers you!

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