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is he being selfish or am I a killjoy?

(202 Posts)
fabby40 Thu 11-Jun-15 10:29:49

So we have 3 young dc. I am a sahm but I am looking for part time work. Dh is about to be between jobs and we have received a large inheritance. Once mortgage paid off we will have maye 150k in the bank.
now dh wants to spend maybe 30k converting the loft so he can have a room for him to use as a hobby room. Thinking building train tracks etc etc.
I am of course happy to support him in this (it is his inheritance) but I do have some qualms about spending alot of money when we will both be between employment. Everyone round us seem to be of the go for it mate mentality which I understand following a bereavement .
mn jury what do you think?

EatShitDerek Thu 11-Jun-15 10:31:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hullygully Thu 11-Jun-15 10:32:06

Um, building train tracks? A grown man?

Is that really a very attractive trait in a partner?

AnyFucker Thu 11-Jun-15 10:33:20

He wants a playroom/man cave complete with train tracks ?

what a knob

fabby40 Thu 11-Jun-15 10:34:09

I guess my worry is that we could have to live off the 120k if it takes time for us to find employment.

Hullygully Thu 11-Jun-15 10:34:43

Well that's a worry too, yes.

ImperialBlether Thu 11-Jun-15 10:35:01

I'd say get the jobs first then spend the money.

lizabeth0607 Thu 11-Jun-15 10:35:05

You will have your mortgage paid off and 120k! I personally love loft conversions, go for it.

tictactoad Thu 11-Jun-15 10:35:19

It's his inheritance and therefore his to spend.

He's using some to pay off the mortgage which benefits all of you. Let him have his hobby room. Chances are you'll get some if not all back if/when you sell anyway.

PoppyBlossom Thu 11-Jun-15 10:35:31

Personally, I believe it's his inheritance And he should be allowed a portion of it individually. What he wants to spend the money on too is pretty sensible, he doesn't want to go to Vegas and buy a Porsche, he wants to make improvements to your family home.

However, "being between jobs" is a pretty ambiguous term, does he actually have a job offer?

HellonHeels Thu 11-Jun-15 10:36:10

Would a properly done loft conversion increase the value of your house by the amount spent (or more?)

If so, it seems a pretty good use of some of your money. Though if you're living rather cramped up (DCs sharing rooms etc) that would seem a little selfish if the loft could be used as playroom, bedroom space etc.

Living off capital is not a good idea; how easy is it going to be to get work? Can your DH get contributions-based JSA?

LaurieFairyCake Thu 11-Jun-15 10:36:13

How long could you live off the 120k?

Realistically? 2/3 years - or do you have a huge mortgage?

I would only worry if it would add 30k value to the house - if it does it's not wasted money at all smile

reni1 Thu 11-Jun-15 10:36:23

Could he delay the playroom until you both have jobs again? If this is soon, nothing will be lost and he has a playroom this year, if it takes a long time, you still have the money to tide you over.

dontrunwithscissors Thu 11-Jun-15 10:36:33

Would the conversion add value to your property?

LaurieFairyCake Thu 11-Jun-15 10:37:00

No mortgage - that's totally fine smile

You are incredibly lucky

AhoyMcCoy Thu 11-Jun-15 10:37:01

If it's "his" inheritance, I would agree with him. Presumably he wants to do something with the money that will bring him happiness - and you will have paid off the mortgage, build your extension AND still have 120K. Surely even if you are both without jobs for YEARS the money wouldn't run out with no mortgage I pay!

fabby40 Thu 11-Jun-15 10:38:17

I think jobs 1st too and will be saying that.

tocmrpouce Thu 11-Jun-15 10:39:02

Well I think that if the loft conversion could also be seen as an investment which would add value to your house then it should be considered seriously. Its not like he's asking to spend 30k on a sports car.

Duckdeamon Thu 11-Jun-15 10:40:22

Even with the mortgage paid off and a large sum in the bank, and if you regard the inheritance as his rather than family money (which many and the law wouldn't) £30k is a lot to spend for a man-treat.

Duckdeamon Thu 11-Jun-15 10:41:20

There is also the question of your (and DC if they're still at home) needs/wants for your home.

Hullygully Thu 11-Jun-15 10:41:39

Does no one think it's astonishing to be married to an ADULT WHO WANTS TO BUILD TRAIN TRACKS?

WorraLiberty Thu 11-Jun-15 10:42:08

If you're ok with having the loft converted then imo he should be able to spend a bit of his inheritance on himself.

He's choosing to make you both mortgage free, still with money in the bank.

And as others have said, it will add value to your home.

I would ignore the snarky comments about adults playing with trains. I don't understand why people are into lots of hobbies, but it doesn't make them less enjoyable to those people.

AnyFucker Thu 11-Jun-15 10:42:43


AnyFucker Thu 11-Jun-15 10:43:35

If the train tracks are made an inbuilt or permanent fixture to any conversion they will lower the value of the house

EatShitDerek Thu 11-Jun-15 10:44:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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