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AIBU to get annoyed. Mum's of baby's that sleep well

(153 Posts)
Sleepysleepysleepy Wed 10-Jun-15 19:02:47

I have a non sleeping 8 month old who has maybe one 45 minute nap in the day and is up every 1-2 hours at night.

I've come to terms with the fact that this is my baby and it won't be forever and try really hard just to get on with things and not grumble.


AIBU to get annoyed by mum's who have baby's that sleep 10-12 hours at night and nap well who then moan about how hard it is to find the time to do things?

I know there may be other factors like pnd or other difficulties in their life, but just on face value i can't help but get a little bit annoyed! If I had 15 hours a day to myself including a solid nights sleep I'd be a gazillion times more efficient!

Ok. Moan over.

NinkyNonkers Wed 10-Jun-15 19:04:27

How do they get 15 hrs a day to themselves? Babies nap an hour or maybe two at a push at that age, so they don't get much more time child free than you?

WoonerismSpit Wed 10-Jun-15 19:07:49


Babies still require looking after in those hours you know.

AuntyMag10 Wed 10-Jun-15 19:10:02

I think yabu because you are making yourself annoyed over something that doesn't affect your life. Those mums could be busy with many other things.

BabyOnBoob Wed 10-Jun-15 19:10:09

I don't think YABU. I've got a rubbish sleeper as well so I definitely know how you feel angry


crumblybiscuits Wed 10-Jun-15 19:10:45

YABU. My daughter slept extremely well from day one but had awful reflux/gerd and when awake all she did was be sick and cry and moan. Sleeping is not the only thing that can be tricky with babies. I do feel your frustration but I feel it's misplaced. I hope things get better soon.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Wed 10-Jun-15 19:11:46

What baby sleeps 12 hours a night? And YABU. You're jealous, its not everyone elses problem.

NinkyNonkers Wed 10-Jun-15 19:11:52

Neither of mine have been sleepers other than in slings, so I know how that feels...but the 15 hr thing is confusing me? And I hate to be the one everyone hates on these threads, but missing 1-2 hours a night with an 8 month old sounds pretty good to me!

Wheelerdeeler Wed 10-Jun-15 19:13:43

Maybe you should train your baby to sleep better?

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise Wed 10-Jun-15 19:13:54

YABU although I do know too well the unreasonable-inducing effects of sleep deprivation.

Just try to be happy for them that they're sleeping well, it doesn't make any difference to you. You'll still have a shit sleeper grin sorry.

Hope things start to look up soon.

WoonerismSpit Wed 10-Jun-15 19:13:56

Also, your level of tiredness has no bearing on how tired the other mums are.


NerrSnerr Wed 10-Jun-15 19:14:39

How do they get 15 hours? My 9 month old was up loads last night and is having her first nap of the day now, at bedtime. I don't begrudge anyone else, we're all in it together.

WoonerismSpit Wed 10-Jun-15 19:15:49

(And fwiw, my DD is 8mo and is a terrible sleeper. She still has to nap on me FGS! smile)

bittapitta Wed 10-Jun-15 19:16:52

I feel your pain but YABU - everyone's only experiencing their own existence. So yes, they probably comparatively have it easier than you. But they are still feeling the exhaustion of looking after an 8mo. Unfortunately you/they can't live someone else's life so it's not worth winding yourself up feeling jealous. Sorry. But hope it gets better soon for you.

NotSpartacus Wed 10-Jun-15 19:16:53

My first baby slept 12 hours a night. But she also hardly napped, so I doubt I had any more time to myself than a mum whose baby naps 3 or 4 hours in the day. I did feel more human though than the second time around, when
my baby napped in the day but didn't sleep at night. Days were easier, though I was too tired to enjoy them!

Discopanda Wed 10-Jun-15 19:17:07

Number 1 was always an awful sleeper, number 2 is a hell of a lot better, it is blimming hard to get stuff done regardless because life is still non-stop

Imi22sleeping Wed 10-Jun-15 19:17:56

Sleep deprivation sucks my daughter was the same as yours until last.month at 21month when she got treatment for.silent reflux.and is sleeping I'm now (except.being up 3.5hrs last.night) I could have killed when people.said oh mine is a great sleeper I had plenty of private yanbu x

OwenMeanysArmadillo Wed 10-Jun-15 19:19:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 10-Jun-15 19:20:16

Comparison is the thief of joy. Concentrate on your own life and baby and that will help you retain some emotional energy during this testing time.

takemetomars Wed 10-Jun-15 19:21:52

whether or not YABU depends on how much 'boasting' these mums are doing about their angel babies. IME mums lie about these sorts of thing, why we are so unkind to each other regarding children and their 'achievements' I will never know but there it is. Don't expect any support from your friends over this and don't believe them either. If they are boasting YABU, if they are not, I feel your pain!!!!

Suzietwo Wed 10-Jun-15 19:22:29

Everyone always thinks they've got it harder than the next person. Just think that your non sleeping baby might turn out to be a perfectly behaved older child whereas sleeping baby might be evil child. The other mother will have got a few months reprieve as against years and years of hell.

It's really not worth comparing yourself to others, partic so early in the journey!

willbillycome Wed 10-Jun-15 19:23:40

Im afraid lack of sleep has a tendency to make people unreasonable, and yab (a bit) u here. Even if they luck out with a baby that sleeps, it might be v clingy when awake, or feed constantly when awake, they may have other children to deal with or as you say be struggling with post pregnancy hormones/pnd/ bad time management. Just smile and agree (and maybe if you want to be vvu hope that should they have another they get a non sleeper and will one day know your pain)

Noodledoodledoo Wed 10-Jun-15 19:25:31

YABU - I am the mum of a sleeper but was made to feel pretty rubbish for this fact by another mummy friend who had a non sleeper. I mentioned my little girls sleeping once because it was causing me an issue so was asking advice. I was always dismissed if I ever had any other issues I wanted advice on as I had a sleeper so I could deal with other issues! So really unsupportive.

Ironically this mum has since done sleep training and is the self appointed 'sleep guru' now!

Only1scoop Wed 10-Jun-15 19:28:36

I used to play down what a fantastic sleeper dd was from early on....because of views like the Op's. We worked bloody hard to get a fab routine established and reaped the benefits.

Suzietwo Wed 10-Jun-15 19:28:47

Coz sleep training works innit

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