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AIBU or just hormonal?

(20 Posts)
Angel1983 Wed 10-Jun-15 14:39:41

DP has seriously annoyed me today. I haven't said anything to him yet because I'm not sure if IABU or if I am just over reacting due to the time of the month.

Basically, I have a laptop which is running very slowly and he knows this. It really needs to be repaired to be useable. One of DP's friends works in IT and DP had mentioned that this friend (let's call him John) might be selling his laptop. I don't have any contact with John as DP sees him on lads nights out (which obviously I don't tag along to!) In the end John decided to keep his laptop so I am left with my pile of junk.

This brings me onto my rage. DP has a very young and very pretty colleague (let's call her Jane). DP has taken a huge shine to Jane and talks about her constantly and simpers over her when we are all together (unfortunately I work with them both).

It turns out that Jane's laptop is also malfunctioning. So DP has offered (without checking with John) for John to fix Jane's laptop free of charge. My laptop has been broken for two months and he hasn't offered to fix it.

AIBU to be upset about this?

CocktailQueen Wed 10-Jun-15 14:47:44

YANBU! I would be upset too. He's prioritising some other woman's laptop over your and being more helpful to her. Not on! Ask him how he'd feel if the boot were on the other foot...

Is this a symptom of a deeper problem though? How infatuated is your dh with Jane? Does he realise it? and how inappropriate/hurtful he's being? How dies she feel?

CocktailQueen Wed 10-Jun-15 14:47:52

does, not dies!

Penfold007 Wed 10-Jun-15 14:49:10

Personally I would go out and buy a new lap top.

Cantwaittogonholiday Wed 10-Jun-15 14:52:36

I'd just go and buy a new laptop - on his credit card.

LumpySpacedPrincess Wed 10-Jun-15 14:58:39

If your laptop is broken get a new one, if you can afford it.

Your H is being a massive wanker and prioritising other people over you on top of all his mentionitus, not on.

How did he justify his actions to you?

Angel1983 Wed 10-Jun-15 15:00:35

Cocktail Queen - I suppose it is a symptom of a bigger problem. We have had discussions about it in the past few months but it just keeps happening again and again. He does stuff for her that he doesn't do for me or anyone else for that matter. He has admitted that he likes the attention from her but denies that he fancies her.

The other problem is we haven't gone public at work yet so Jane is merrily flirting away with him not knowing that we are together.

Angel1983 Wed 10-Jun-15 15:04:26

Lumpy - I haven't discussed this with him yet because I don't want to appear irrational or controlling. I only found out about Jane's laptop getting fixed by John from Jane. DP hasn't mentio it to me yet.

DeladionInch Wed 10-Jun-15 15:11:13

Your relationship is so new that work don't know, yet he treats another woman with that much more respect? Laptops are the least of your worries! Are you absolutely totally completely convinced that he isn't spinning Jane the same line?

bluejeanswhiteshirt Wed 10-Jun-15 15:14:01

Yanbu I would be upset about this. How long have you been together op? Is he worth it?

Theycallmemellowjello Wed 10-Jun-15 15:28:25

He's being a dick to you and (to a lesser extent) to Jane. Is he worth the effort?

Angel1983 Wed 10-Jun-15 16:22:58

We have been together quite a while. It is a mutual decision not to go public at work at the moment.

I am fairly certain that he is not playing us both together because something makes me think that Jane suspects we are together from the things that she says.

Argh! I am just fed up with nonsense. I Have no problems with a bit of light flirting but when I am becoming the third party in my own flipping relationship that pisses me off.

I will see what he says tonight when we finish work. He has been avoiding me this afternoon so far as he appears to appreciate that I am a raging hormonal fat mess - women things scare him....

Angel1983 Wed 10-Jun-15 19:08:17

Just re-read my posts. I apologise for my terrible spelling errors and grammar. blush

NinkyNonkers Wed 10-Jun-15 19:10:03

At this early stage I would be expecting more from him, I would be rethinking!

NRomanoff Wed 10-Jun-15 19:58:05

So she is flirting with him desire knowing you are together or at least suspects you are together. She sounds lovely and he sounds like a bit of a cock.

Hopefully there will be an explanation. Jane could possibly be stirring it. If she knows you are together, but fancies him she may be trying to cause problems.

CocktailQueen Thu 11-Jun-15 19:40:34

His behaviour is shit. Why don't people at work know you're a couple? This is meant to be your honeymoon period when everything is lovely... He's not meant to be flirting with other women and putting their needs above yours. He sounds a bit crap.

Angel1983 Fri 12-Jun-15 13:26:10

He thinks it will damage our careers sad if people know we are together. I spoke to DP and he denied that he knew anything about my laptop being broken.

The latest development is that Jane has now announced her intention to try and sleep with DP in order to try to further her career (she is our assistant) I have no idea how to handle this!

I am going to sit down with DP this weekend and explain that it is not appropriate for him to encourage her any further, as there is a real danger of things going too far.

MsFiestyPants Fri 12-Jun-15 14:23:09

hes fucking her or intending to. no smoke without fire. ditch him.

Norland Fri 12-Jun-15 14:35:18

Don't about how to fix your relationship issues and I think it's a bit weird peeps at work don't know the two of you are an item.

If your laptop is slow, then download:

CCleaner from

The free version of Superantispyware from here

Malwarebytes from MWB

And once installed, run them in that order.

Make sure you're using Microsoft Security Essentials (assuming you're a Windows user) and run a full-scan with it. (Daily is my recommendation)

If it's still slow, you might need more memory.

Fudgeface123 Fri 12-Jun-15 14:39:16

Yup, he doesn't want your relationship public so he can go and knob Jane. If she suspects you're together then she's a bitch. Sounds like they deserve each other.

Leave them to it and find another job

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