composite class AIBU

[PavlovaPalaver]

When my DS started school in P1 (we're in Scotland), he was put in a composite P1/P2 class.

There are many more boys than girls in his year (23 boys / 13 girls) but despite this, only 5 P1 boys were put in the composite class. Because of this, DS did not make many friends with the P1 boys. He became friends with a lot of the P2 boys, but the boys in the straight P1 class had parties that he was not invited and because he wasn't on the radar of the P2 mums, he was never invited to playdates or parties with them either.

I believe he suffered socially from it. He was fairly unhappy in the class, played alone in the playground & I had discussions with his teacher about this.

In P2 he was put in the straight P2 class & has made many friends. He has been much much happier in this class and I have discussed this change with his teacher as well. He has been described as popular by the teacher.

(as an aside, there was also a P1/2 composite this year and all 7 of the P2 children in the composite class were boys)/

Now the classes have been allocated for P3 and my DS has been put into the P2/3 composite. The P3 children are a mixture of boys and girls. This means that out of 23 boys in his year, he will be again in a class with only 5 of his male peers. He is the only child who was in the P1 composite to be put in the P3 composite and none of his close friends are in this class. There are at least 10 children who have not been in a composite class in either P1 or P2 and I have no idea why he has been chosen. I have also no idea why the allocation of boys v girls has been changed.

I have nothing against composite classes per se and I would be happy with him being in a composite class with a higher proportion of boys. I really think that the teachers have not taken his wellbeing into consideration.

AIBU to be upset about this and what can I do about it?

(also posted in Education, but have a meeting with the head teacher today so need urgent advice!)

[PavlovaPalaver]

I also meant to put in the OP that there are 10 children (out of 36) who have never been put in the composite class in any of the 3 years.

[Mrsjayy]

Dd1 was in a p1 composite class it worked fine she was also i a 5/6 again fine im not sure what your concerns are does your son have friends at all do you think he is missing out socially because of these classes if those are your concerns then that is what you need to say inyour meeting

[Mrsjayy]

In our primary the older kids were in the classes maybe thats why the 10 maybe winter birthdays have never been in a composite

[PavlovaPalaver]

DS is one of the older children in the year which is another reason I'm surprised that he has been put in the composite with the younger class.

[PavlovaPalaver]

He is also in the top groups for Maths & English - which is another reason I'm surprised that he's been put in the composite with the younger class.

[lem73]

I would get in there and say something. I was one of 6 primary 7s in a 6/7 composite class (many years ago) and I totally understand your concerns. I feel I was affected socially and academically. When they put mix up classes they are supposed to aim for a social, academic and gender balance. From what you are saying this hasn't happened. Does he have close friendships and has he been kept with at least one close friend all the way through? If not, I feel this is detrimental to his social development and I would really put my foot down.

[howabout]

Sounds like YANBU. Have you discussed it with the school?
I am not a teacher but my understanding is that sometimes they actively select older and more able DC for the older year of the composite to maintain delineation and because they cope better?
The issue of friendships would be my concern as I had this with my dd and it has had an effect. I think there are sometimes so many factors that it can be easy for the school to miss something like this which is of course obvious to the parent.

[PavlovaPalaver]

He has a very good friend that he was in the same class as in P1 and P2. He is not going to be in the same class as him in P3. He is fairly friendly with 2 of the boys that are going to be in his class (not BF but a couple of playdates per year).

He has never been in the same class as the other 2 boys and barely knows them.

[Mrsjayy]

Urgh he is going to be in a 2/3 misread sorry i think if you are unhappy then you should say they way our school worked it was the opposite older p3 and younger p2 doesnt make sense

[lem73]

While it's good to encourage kids to make a wide circle of friends by mixing up class groups, kids do need close friends and the school is making it very difficult for your son to make lasting friendships. You need to argue it from this perspective. When my dd moved from foundation to year 1, they were going to split her from her two best friends. When I mentioned it to the teacher, she said she hadn't realised they were such best friends and the head immediately agreed to move dd. I'm so glad I said something because the girls in the other class aren't very nice and she would have missed so much. Good luck with your meeting.

[Minniemouserocks]

When I was nine, I was one of four children mixed in with the year group a over. Two girls, two boys. We sat together on our own table. It was hellish. I hated it. Messed up a lot of school friendships.

[Minniemouserocks]

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