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AIBU to talk to a friend about family stuff

(4 Posts)
MoanCraft Tue 09-Jun-15 20:39:51

My dh has come across an email that I sent to a trusted friend. In it was a bit of a rant about a family holiday with the in-laws.
Dh was understandably angry. Although I understand he's angry, he has said he never wants me to communicate to anyone about family matters and they should be kept I behind closed doors.
I have said that I can't guarantee that I will never talk to a close friend about things. We've had a similar conversation a very long time ago. Situation is now that he will not accept that I, and I believe most women, do talk to at least one close friend about personal matters involving dhs and family.
So, I really would appreciate your opinions. Is it unreasonable of me to expect my Dh to accept that I get support from my friends by sharing personal things with them and some of those subjects involve Dh in not a good light.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Tue 09-Jun-15 20:44:54

Yeah but no. I think it's normal to share gripes and moans with someone outside of the situation. It needs to be someone who can keep quiet and will not think badly of your DH (if they hear all the bad and none of the good).

caravanista13 Tue 09-Jun-15 20:46:09

Not unreasonable at all. Everyone needs someone to confide in, and sadly it can't always be a partner if they're the cause of the dilemma.

LittleMissRayofHope Tue 09-Jun-15 20:53:02

Has he shared his thoughts on what your supposed to do with your frustrations then when you can't speak to him?
How does he expect you to cope with a growing resentment towards him?
Because, as a couple, you are guaranteed to have issues you can't communicate about (ie the contents of the offending emails) and yet your not allowed to speak to anyone else? So you get no release from that tension and frustration which can turn to resentment, which could be compounded by the fact that he has forbidden your natural right to speak to whoever you choose about whatever you choose.

YANBU. They are your life issues as well.

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