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To be a little freaked out by feelings of broodiness?

(7 Posts)
pandarific Sun 07-Jun-15 11:30:57

It's so odd - from being someone who's never been in the least bit maternal/at all fussed by babies, whenever I meet someone's adorable pixie-ish 1 year old girl I just want to squeeze them. I'm nearly 31, in LTR with OH, living in a flat we own.

I don't think I want a baby... yet.

I want a few more things before I do have kids, dream wishlist (ahem): become more senior at work, travel more, be published as a fiction writer (not out of nowhere, I've been working toward it for years), buy a super-cheap little bolt-hole somewhere rural in Ireland so I can flee if it all goes wrong. Basically after a few rocky years become more the 'me' I always wanted to be when I was younger, you know?

Obviously all that's the dream and I wouldn't ever hold off until everything was 'done', apart from maybe the work promotion. I'm kind of scaring myself tbh. I was never interested babies/kids! Has anyone else felt a little freaked out by the sudden onset?

longlistofexlovers Sun 07-Jun-15 11:33:23

There is never a right time! YANU to be freaked out though!

Have you discussed it with OH?

pandarific Sun 07-Jun-15 11:39:02

Yep - he's 1 year younger than me and not ready yet (either me), but was grin. One thing is he needs to sort out his job first - he's unhappy in his work. We discussed it and I gently said he needs to sort this first and change industries if that's what he wants to do, but get stable.

I reckon 2 years. A good chunk of time but not too long.

pandarific Sun 07-Jun-15 11:39:42

I mean too long for me, obviously - YMMV and all.

GiddyOnZackHunt Sun 07-Jun-15 11:42:06

Yes it is bloody odd when it hits. I was never having children. Never been interested. Then at 35 it suddenly became hugely important. Very strange.

juneau Sun 07-Jun-15 11:49:34

There is never a right time, but for you to complete all the things on your 'to do before we procreate' list you'll be about 50.

A few things to think about:
If you have problems conceiving you'll have time to fix them if you start trying now. 10 years from now (I'm 41 with two kids so I know of what I speak), you won't wish you'd waited longer. You'll be glad you got on with it while you're still reasonably young. Because right now you're thinking 'I'm still young, I have loads of time', but if you were to get pregnant now you'll be 32 when the baby is born, 42 when s/he's 10, 52 when s/he's 20, 55 when s/he finally moves out? And maybe you want to have two or three DC ... you see how those numbers start to stack up?

I'll be 57 when my DS2 is 20. I'll be lucky to have him living independently and starting his career when I'm 60. Its normal to be an older mother these days, but I'm very glad my mum was 25 when she had me, because she's still young enough to be an involved granny. So do the maths and make an informed choice. Yes, you're still young, but you're not THAT young. Don't put it off too long.

pandarific Sun 07-Jun-15 11:57:27

Good points juneau - I think I'd like to have 1 by 33, and 2 by 35 or so, which works with my 2-year timeline. I don't think I want any more than that.

I guess I don't anticipate any problems conceiving, but then again, no one does, do they?

My thinking is if I got pregnant tomorrow, I'd still be at a junior level at work so on not-very-high pay, and it would be even more difficult to get promoted when I went back with a small child as I wouldn't be able to work late and would always be knackered, OH would still be unhappy in his work, our fixer-upper flat wouldn't have made any money, and more to the point would still be completely unfinished (still don't have a hall floor down/tools everywhere).

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