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to be pissed off with my able bodied neighbour?

(90 Posts)
imnotafeministbut Sat 06-Jun-15 17:47:14

A neighbour of mine, a lovely elderly lady, who I was very fond of, passed away last Feb. Her daughter 40 ish, moved back in with her about a year ago. The elderly lady quite rightly, had a disabled badge on her car. Thing is - since her passing her perfectly able-bodied daughter has been driving around in her mums old car and has kept the on disabled badge and is even parking in Disabled parking bays. WWYD?

Theycallmemellowjello Sat 06-Jun-15 17:48:37

How do you know she's not disabled?

LIZS Sat 06-Jun-15 17:50:09

Technically it is not valid unless the disabled person is using the car. Maybe she qualifies in her own right?

Bair Sat 06-Jun-15 17:50:43

If I was 110% sure that the daughter does not have genuine reason for having a BB (eg has one of her own, hidden disability, other family member who needs a BB for whom she does errands) I would report it.

I hated it when MIL was ill and FIL would struggle to find a space for her, its bad enough that there aren't enough spaces for those who need them without others taking a lend.

However, if I wasn't 100% on the above, and I mean 100% I'd do nothing. Because it's an awful thing to accuse someone of.

ButterflyUpSoHigh Sat 06-Jun-15 17:51:54

She will have had to send it back. We got a letter demanding my Grandads back a few days after he died.

She may have one of her own.

lougle Sat 06-Jun-15 17:52:12

Are you sure the badge isn't hers, or have you made an assumption?

MythicalKings Sat 06-Jun-15 17:52:43

I'd report her. If she's entitled to a blue badge she'll have one of her own.

imnotafeministbut Sat 06-Jun-15 17:55:07

Because she goes to the gym (in the car). Walks well enough around the local park, even breaks into the odd run when her dog is disobedient. I've spoken to her many times, she's nice enough, but has never mentioned a disability.

imnotafeministbut Sat 06-Jun-15 17:59:05

I know and that's what pisses me off the most of course. The fact that a genuinely disabled person wouldn't be able to get a parking space because of her, the liberty taking cow. My other neighbour said she saw her in the supermarket carpark the other day, putting her shopping in the car, and gave her a big breezy hello how are you? No shame at all.

imnotafeministbut Sat 06-Jun-15 18:00:52

She's got the house up for sale and is going to live abroad, maybe that's why she doesn't care and hasn't given the badge back? As Butterfly said she should have had a letter asking for it back by now.

twistletonsmythe Sat 06-Jun-15 18:01:31

Well, she could have a disability.

imnotafeministbut Sat 06-Jun-15 18:02:10

Sorry - forgot to mention at the supermarket she was indeed in a disabled space.

giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows Sat 06-Jun-15 18:03:10

I have a blue badge and I go to the gym and swim.

twistletonsmythe Sat 06-Jun-15 18:07:53

Yes, so does my sister Giraffe. Just because someone looks well it doesn't mean they aren't deserving of a badge.

Bair Sat 06-Jun-15 18:08:13

Nothing you've said there rules out that she has the badge for genuine use. She's leaving anyway, say nothing.

riveravon23 Sat 06-Jun-15 18:29:06

OP. I have disabled adult sons with multiple disabiling conditions. However, the very worst disability they face is looking "normal" and therefore other people assuming there is nothing wrong with them. This judgmental attitude of other people has a negative effect on their life. btw my sons would also be able to go to the gym, shopping, run with the dog and so on. Please be certain if making accusations.

chocolateyay Sat 06-Jun-15 18:31:53

Do the badges have a name on them? It could be her badge. Or it could be her mums. I assume traffic wardens check them.

bloodyteenagers Sat 06-Jun-15 19:09:45

I work with several people who use the gym and swim (part of their physio program) and are entitled to blue badge.
Same with my son.
Same woth my youngest sons best mate.
Same with a neighbour.
Could go on but think you get the drift.
You cannot tell just from looking at a person if they are entitled or not.

IHaveBrilloHair Sat 06-Jun-15 19:12:05

I am disabled but don't look it, I was dancing a few weeks ago.

NorahDentressangle Sat 06-Jun-15 19:15:32

I would get a life.
Spying and whinging about neighbours is not a life.

Debinaboat Sat 06-Jun-15 19:23:48

The usual prejudice,
You can't be disabled if you can walk :-(
oh ,and disabled people aren't allowed to do normal activities ,hell they aren't even supposed to smile and be cheery .

TokenGinger Sat 06-Jun-15 19:28:56

My friend has Crohn's disease. She can run, walk, use the gym etc. However, she has part of her large intestine hanging out of her body. If she gets a tummy rumble, you can literally see her bag fill up instantly. She has to change. Immediately. The blue badge helps her with this, being able to pull over where ever she needs to.

Also, although she can use the gym, there are times when she's in complete agony and can't walk very far.

giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows Sat 06-Jun-15 19:44:24

Chocolate yes badges have photos and names on back.

I can be very ill, low sats, breathless, unable to walk far at all or I can be good and look well and be able to do lots. But a trigger can set me off very quickly to being crap again.

SoupDragon Sat 06-Jun-15 20:01:12

I've spoken to her many times, she's nice enough, but has never mentioned a disability.

Why should she? Do you discuss your personal medical details with your neighbours?

404UsernameNotFound Sat 06-Jun-15 20:20:03

And? Yesterday I was hobbling around on a crutch for support. Today I'm fine.
You are making sweeping generalisations about someone whom in reality you know bugger all about.
YABU.

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