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to think that it is just plain rude of a 12/13/14 year old to not say hello to a friend of his or her parents?

(65 Posts)
Mintyy Sat 06-Jun-15 17:35:26

NT teen and someone they have known since reception?

Coming to their parent who you are talking to?

Interrupting to speak to the parent and deliberately avoiding eye contact and failing to say hello?

Rude ...

If a child of mine behaved like this I would be ashamed/embarrassed/furious all at once.

DosDuchas Sat 06-Jun-15 17:38:11

yup
Parents let kids do this

ThingummyJigg Sat 06-Jun-15 17:38:57

Rude but that's teenagers for you.

my first thought was 'what if they're shy?' tbh, in which case it wouldn't bother me

dietcokeandwine Sat 06-Jun-15 17:41:51

Mine would be more 'what if they have additional needs which impact on social interaction' (my 10yo has Aspergers for example and can easily imagine him doing this in a few years) but you say this teen is fully nt. In which case yes I wouldel expect a basic hello even if offered shyly/gruffly.

Andrewofgg Sat 06-Jun-15 17:42:10

Teens . . . they do rejoin our species. Promise.

Boy or girl?

Elephantjuicelove Sat 06-Jun-15 17:42:15

Just plain rude, and rude parents not to correct them.

Cantbelievethisishappening Sat 06-Jun-15 17:43:41

YABU. Probably shy.... I suffered terribly from shyness at that age. You are over-reacting.
If a child of mine behaved like this I would be ashamed/embarrassed/furious all at once
Really? hmm

DosDuchas Sat 06-Jun-15 17:43:58

no its NOT Teens

Dont bloody excuse it. Its the parents and its bad manners

ElkTheory Sat 06-Jun-15 17:45:55

Very rude indeed. Did the parent say anything to him/her about this behaviour?

bigbluebus Sat 06-Jun-15 17:46:39

My DS might do this but then he has ASD. I would still pull him up on it though.

Reignbeau Sat 06-Jun-15 17:47:24

Interrupting is rude YANBU about that part. The rest I'm more on the fence about, some children are very shy and have difficulty speaking to even adults they know, you don't know what issues they may be having with confidence even if they are NT. Being bullied at school and having it brushed off and pretty much blamed on me by a teacher for giving them a reaction by being easily upset knocked my confidence down as a young teen.

Biscetti Sat 06-Jun-15 17:48:53

Bollock is it teens. It's rude. I cannot imagine a single teen, early or otherwise, child of a friend do this; regardless of whether I've known them since reception or year bloody 8.

I have at one stage had four of my own teens, and they would never behave so rudely. Nor would my younger two either.

Teens are not inherently rude. Some teens are rude fuckers, most are not.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Sat 06-Jun-15 17:48:53

I agree Mintyy. Have had children of friends do the same thing - children who have come to our house to play, come for tea, Mums and Dads are our friends. Then when they hit their teen years, ignore you totally (even nieces and nephews of DP have done it, bizarrely)! Meet them in the street, they pretend not to have seen you. Makes me feel very angry. Once they do it, their birthday presents and cards stop, immediately!!! My DCs have never done it - if they had ever dared, they know I would haul them over the coals. Rude, rude, rude!

NurseRoscoe Sat 06-Jun-15 17:50:43

I would say more shy than rude. I was like this as a teen, very shy and self conscious, despite knowing people for a long time sometimes, my mum pushing it made it worse. I am still like it as an adult, just have learned to hide it now.

BarbarianMum Sat 06-Jun-15 17:50:46

There comes a point where shyness does not excuse bad manners. YANBU and I wouldn't tolerate it in my children or my house.

Mayor Sat 06-Jun-15 17:51:43

I too would have thought this rude up until a couple of years ago. Now I have a DD with possible Aspergers who can't say hello or goodbye to friends she's known ages, never mind strangers. Also interrupts and loudly says she wants to go home. I'd be much more forgiving now of a teenager/child not acknowledging me!

howabout Sat 06-Jun-15 17:52:22

Depends if you would say hello to the teen if about to talk to their parent. I agree teens are generally rude but I now have a toddler and a teen and I am often aware of how much adults treat DC like they are invisible while being offended when the behaviour is reciprocated.

meglet Sat 06-Jun-15 17:52:36

Typical huffy teen behaviour imo. I'm sure the parents do pull them up on it but possibly wanted to avoid a scene that time.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum Sat 06-Jun-15 17:54:14

I do think shyness can too often be used as an excuse for rudeness. Most of the youngsters we know are not shy. DS has a few friends now, who are very shy indeed (and we make allowances for that) - it is pretty easy to tell the difference between rudeness and shyness, most of the time.

elbowsdontsing2 Sat 06-Jun-15 18:01:32

interrupting is rude, but as for not saying hello did you say hello to them.
ds s friends dont say hello to me, i speak to them and get a lovely pleasant reply. some teenages are shy doesnt make them rude

Biscetti Sat 06-Jun-15 18:06:09

Shy is an acceptable excuse when the teen does not know the adult, but this is a NT teen, who has known the OP for at least 6 years +.

elbowsdontsing2 Sat 06-Jun-15 18:08:34

i also remember when i was a teen walking up the street and seeing one of moms friends coming towards me and id start to blush didnt know wheather to say hello or not so id wait for them to speak (i probably wasnt looking at them either i was blushing) and then id get in a tizz at what to say, hello or alright and ended up saying alight
jeez i was bloody shy

Nanny0gg Sat 06-Jun-15 18:32:25

I was very shy and self-conscious as a child/teen.

If my parents were talking to someone, whether I knew them or not, I would be expected to a) not interrupt and b) at a suitable moment, say Hello.

Or be bollocked to the moon and back.

Mintyy Sat 06-Jun-15 18:42:49

I am quite certain this teen is NT. There has never been any hint of an investigation into any possible SN. This is a child who was friends with mine in primary and has indeed been to my house many times, as I have been to their parents.

I am not really close to the parents any more. Our friendship has dwindled and one of the reasons is that we are quite different - in parenting our children and in other ways.

It is only because I was feeling especially benign and patient today that I didn't loudly say "hello" to teen in question after I'd attempted to make eye contact several times while we were standing there. Interestingly there was another adult teen knows very well (better than me) standing in the same group and teen ignored him as well! Parent said nothing!

I have friends who remind their 5 year olds say hello to me (quite right too), as I have done with my children all their lives. My dd is extremely shy but knows it is very rude to ignore someone in those circumstances and would never do it. My ds has been able to converse easily with adults forever.

CoogerAndDark Sat 06-Jun-15 18:49:45

OMG, don't you know hard it is to like, be pleasant to people? <storms out, slams bedroom door>

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