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Who is responsible for cleaning after this guest?

(195 Posts)
Booboostoo Sat 06-Jun-15 13:46:28

DH and I can't agree over this ( a bit long winded but bear with me):

We have a nanny/groom/cleaner who lives in accommodation we provide with her boyfriend who also works for us. Our nanny and bf are away on holiday and FIL is visiting. We don't have a spare bedroom for FIL so we asked nanny and bf if FIL could stay at their cottage and they were happy with this.

Right before our nanny left on holiday she cleaned her cottage and changed the sheets, which I assumed she did because FIL was coming. This was lovely of her and I will thank her about. When FIL leaves I think we should change the sheets and clean the cottage so that it is ready for nanny and bf to return. DH thinks we should leave cottage as is and nanny and bf should clean it when they come back. DH argues that nanny works for us as a cleaner so it's her job to clean. I don't think it's her job to clean her cottage that she has kindly let to us, nor have to do it after a long flight back, nor have to do it on her day off.

I will eat my foot if anyone thinks I am BU, but tell me anyway because I need some ammunition to convince DH (of course I could just go ahead and clean it all by myself, but in that case I would prefer it if FIL shared a room with a DC as it is a lot less work for me. I am doing all the cleaning anyway while nanny is away, DH is not helping with that at all so I don't want to 'volunteer' for more cleaning).

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Sat 06-Jun-15 13:48:20

You clean it.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 06-Jun-15 13:48:59

Is your DH for real?!

He's being completely unreasonable. And disrespectful.

CherryLips1980 Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:04


RebootYourEngine Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:13

I think you should clean it for her coming back. You used it you clean it. She did a nice thing letting you use it while she was away.

TheFairyCaravan Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:14

You should clean the cottage. It should be left so the nanny can use it when she comes back. I would imagine she'd be incredibly pissed off to get back after her holiday only to have to start cleaning up after your FIL and changing the sheets. I'd go bat shit if someone did that to me.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:42

You clean it.

woowoo22 Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:43

DH is rude, of course you clean it. FIL made the mess! grin

rookiemere Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:47

YANBU and your DH is not being very nice or fair. If I was the nanny and came back to FIL dirty sheets and mess I'd not say anything but I'd be looking for a new employer.

Eminado Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:49

Sorry but your dh is a bit of a dick!!!

BackInTheRealWorld Sat 06-Jun-15 13:49:53

You clean it...or your fil can if you like!
You leave the place in the condition you found it, clean sheets the lot!

Blimey I can't believe your dh thinks otherwise!

LindyHemming Sat 06-Jun-15 13:50:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Sat 06-Jun-15 13:50:21

Of course you clean it.

Lucked Sat 06-Jun-15 13:50:55


As well as the reasons you give she is on her annual leave so it is not her responsibility

Shakey1500 Sat 06-Jun-15 13:51:50

Blimey, yes, of course it should be cleaned before they return.

BertPuttocks Sat 06-Jun-15 13:52:02

Your nanny was kind enough to let FIL stay and even went to the trouble of cleaning it first. The least you can do is to leave it in the same condition.

I would remind your dh that the nanny is your employee, not your slave.

sadwidow28 Sat 06-Jun-15 13:52:10

What a lovely, thoughtful pair of employees you have. I am sure your FIL will prefer to have his own space when he visits.

YANBU - repay the thoughtfulness by leaving the cottage in the state they left it (clean sheets, tidied/hoovered etc).

Oh and DH is being unreasonable. It's his Dad who is getting a lovely break-away with the family without having to constantly be in YOUR space. Tell him not to take advantage of 2 lovely people who happen to be your employees.

missingmumxox Sat 06-Jun-15 13:52:32

Of course you should clean it, your husband sounds like he lacks basic courtesy and manners

mousmous Sat 06-Jun-15 13:52:34

you or your dh should clean it.
your nanny is doing you a massive favour letting someone else stay in her home

Lucked Sat 06-Jun-15 13:52:55

If he refuses pay for a one-off clean out of your joint money.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Sat 06-Jun-15 13:53:24

Your dh sounds mean and ungrateful, does he think because she lives in your cottage he's doing her a favour letting them live there?.

It doesn't matter who does the cleaning but someone has to.

How is this even a question?

She leant you her home (even if it belongs to you). Of course you clean it.

DH isn't just being U; he's being a dick.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 Sat 06-Jun-15 13:53:54

Your DH should clean it. The imperious wanker.

DramaAlpaca Sat 06-Jun-15 13:53:57

You should leave the cottage in the condition you found it, it would be disrespectful to your nanny & her partner not to. It would be unreasonable for your nanny to come back to someone else's mess and used sheets in what is, after all, her home.

QuintShhhhhh Sat 06-Jun-15 13:54:25

Your dh reminds me of an old au pair of mine...

I let her parents come visit and stay at our house while we went on holiday. I came home to 6 loads of bedding to launder. Au pair said "laundry is not part of my job description". FFS. It was HER mum, dad, sister, sisters boyfriend, and their baby who had used the bedding.....

That is, if this is real.....

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