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Pissed off at being called fat

(84 Posts)
OneDoneOneBun Fri 05-Jun-15 14:57:29

I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my second baby so almost 3 months and am still wearing size 10 clothes, your meant to show sooner with second pregnancies aren't you? Before I got pregnant the first time around I was bulimic and would puke up every single thing I ate and take loads of laxatives and was very skinny and ill, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped, it was hard but I wouldn't harm my baby in any way. Anyway it's took a lot for me to get here and I feel healthy, I don't think size 10 when 3 months pregnant is that bad but the doctor I went to see today made me feel absolutely shit saying "because you're overweight" I just think that it's comments like that that would have probably started me off being sick again if I wasn't pregnant.

KoalaDownUnder Fri 05-Jun-15 15:00:07

How tall are you?!

DoJo Fri 05-Jun-15 15:01:48

In what context did the GP say you were overweight? What is your BMI? It sounds like a miscalculation or similar, as someone who is a size 10 is unlikely to be overweight unless they are very unusually proportioned.

OneDoneOneBun Fri 05-Jun-15 15:02:11

I'm quite short, only just over 5ft

OneDoneOneBun Fri 05-Jun-15 15:03:01

And my boobs have tripled in size since being pregnant

Esssss Fri 05-Jun-15 15:06:05

That's an outrageous statement from the doctor. But could you give some context? I was paranoid about weight gain in my first pregnancy after years of eating disorders and told my midwife this. At some point during the pregnancy she told me I was putting on weight too quickly. I put on 2 and a half stone altogether which I think is pretty normal!? But like you, it could very easily have triggered me into disordered eating again (luckily I had good support so I didn't)

Unless you are underweight or genuinely overweight then your weight isn't really that important in pregnancy imo although it feels like everyone thinks they have a right to comment on your body when you're preggers.

Stay strong and believe that life is s much better without your eating disorder!

LaurieFairyCake Fri 05-Jun-15 15:07:24

First off, he didn't say you were fat - he said you were overweight. It's really important to not change that word inside your head to 'fat'if youve had an eating disorder.

Now, you may be overweight. I'm your height and I do fall into the overweight category when medically calculated on a BMI chart even at a size 10.

However, I personally believe that at 11 weeks pregnant you are very unlikely to be overweight and that your doctors a dick grin

PenguinBollards Fri 05-Jun-15 15:08:48

"because you're overweight" from a doctor doesn't = being called fat. Though it could have been phrased more sensitively.

Presumably the doctor has some concerns about your health ~ what was the context in which "because you're overweight" was said? I'm guessing it didn't just come out of the blue?

InstitutionCode Fri 05-Jun-15 15:13:10

Does your doctor know you were bulimic? Sounds like a very odd thing for a doctor to say in that context.

BatteryPoweredHen Fri 05-Jun-15 15:16:39

I'm also overweight at a size 10 - vanity sizing has a lot to answer for!

Going by your clothes size is a dangerous game, BMI, although not perfect, it a much better guide.

You are only supposed to gain about 3lbs in the whole of the first trimester (so up to the start of week 14). If you have gained more than this, might be worth a rethink of your eating habits?

Congrats on your pregnancy! smile

Angria Fri 05-Jun-15 15:26:12

Was this a routine pregnancy appointment or did you go with a specific problem? How did the conversation go concerning your weight?

OneDoneOneBun Fri 05-Jun-15 15:27:40

I've gained 4lb so far and I'm about 11 and a half weeks roughly, I went in to the medical day unit at the hospital because my doctor sent me over to be assessed as she was worried that I'd had about 6 or 7 migraines in the last week. He was asking if I eat chocolate etc because it can be a trigger for migraines, I said yes but not all the time and that I hadn't had any this week so I doubt that would have been the trigger. He then said that my doctor at the surgery had referred me because she was worried and he was going on about thrombosis and stuff saying that you could get it "because you are overweight" and that I need to give up chocolate for a week to see if the migraines improve. I don't think he knew that he was talking about to be honest, I've told him I haven't had chocolate all week so this couldn't have been the trigger for the migraines but he insists that's what it is. Waste of 3 hours in medical day unit and came home with paracetamol that won't even touch a migraine and a "fat" diagnosis. hmm

Theycallmemellowjello Fri 05-Jun-15 15:33:48

If you were referred because you’re overweight, then you can’t expect the doctor to lie about that. But it sounds like you should ask the doctor what would be a healthy weight for you, and your GP really should have explained that before referring you. Re: migranes, was chocolate the only food he mentioned? Could it be that he was asking you to cut out a range of foods, including chocolate?

Is there any chance you are looking at the whole encounter through the lens of your eating disorder and only remembering or focussing on the bits that triggered off certain feelings?

How long did you speak to him?

QuiteLikely5 Fri 05-Jun-15 15:38:42

Drs are concerned about health.

You were not called fat.

If you're overweight and were told so I can't think of a way that would have pleased you to hear it.

OneDoneOneBun Fri 05-Jun-15 15:39:49

No, just chocolate. He said about chocolate at least 5 times even though I don't eat it that much and told him so a million times.
He was like "I eat chocolate every day, I tried to give up but I can't so now I have a chocolate and a paracetamol every night"... Great advice doc

BatteryPoweredHen Fri 05-Jun-15 15:41:22

What is your BMI?

Nottalotta Fri 05-Jun-15 15:45:55

Firstly, he's not calling you fat. My Dr. did height and weight when referring me for ivf. He put the figures into his computer then said 'oh! You're overweight' and looked me up and down in surprise. I am 5ft 7 and weighed about 12st. However, I don't look fat, but fit. Not skinny, but toned, with muscular legs and arms. I have a little bit of tummy fat but not much at all. But my bmi put me in the overweight category, which is probably what's happened with you.

Re the migraine, 6 - 7 in a week?

Nottalotta Fri 05-Jun-15 15:48:52

Sorry....are they very short migrains or is it actually one or two in reality? I know everyone is different but if i get a migraine, its a minimum of 3 days out of action. Unless its just a visual disturbance, which can last a few hours with no actual headache.

IssyStark Fri 05-Jun-15 15:51:03

Another shortarse and I too an overweight at a size 10. At 5' you'd have to be about a 6-8 to be in the normal weight category. That's just the way it is and the doctor stating you were overweight is a simple statement of fact. Try not to take it so judgementally.

VivaLeBeaver Fri 05-Jun-15 15:53:34

What's your bmi? I can't imagine you're not in the normal category at a size 10.

BatteryPoweredHen Fri 05-Jun-15 16:01:48

I'm 5'6", of average frame and am still comfortably in a size 10 with a BMI of 26.

The trouble is, a high street size 10 is just huge - deliberately to flatter us and encourage us to spend more money.

Nobody's saying that the moment you tip from a BMI of 24.9 to 25.1 your health automatically nosedives, but all the woes of pregnancy are magnified a thousandfold by excess weight. It's hard enough as it is, why make it harder for yourself by carrying unnecessary additional weight.

Your doctor is doing their job by trying to look out for your health.

fiverabbits Fri 05-Jun-15 16:26:47

When I was pregnant with my second child I was 90kg at 3 months. I was told to lose weight. By 8 months the hospital said I was starving myself because I still weighed 90 kg but I was eating three meals a day but I also had a toddler to look after. After I had the baby I weighed 80 kg, a year later of breastfeeding I weighed 70 kg. The baby was 8lb at birth and 24lb at one year, he was starving me !

OneDoneOneBun Fri 05-Jun-15 17:28:45

Nottalotta.. No they are not very short, they start in the afternoon/evening and last all night until the next morning then I'm ok for a few hours when I wake up, I have had about 6 this week where it starts with a bright light in my left eye then progresses to a very painful headache and I can't read or speak properly, I know what I want to say in my head but it comes out as mumble jumble. Also I can't look at bright lights cos it makes me feel sick. This is why I was referred to the hospital, I know what a migraine is and wouldn't go to the doctor for nothing.

I'm not sure what my BMI is, he didn't check my height or weight today which is why I was shocked that he said I was overweight, if he'd done my BMI I wouldn't have been as bothered.

LotusLight Fri 05-Jun-15 17:54:10

As she hasn't given her weight or BMI presumably she is overweight.

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