To think the newborn stage is a breeze?(204 Posts)
I see lots of threads on here discussing helping friends as they have a baby and how difficult things will be, how tired you'll be, how there will be no time for yourself etc etc
DS is 2 now and it's 10 times harder to cope with him than a baby, he's exhausting.
Newborns sleep loads so we could cook, clean, even sneak in some nookie, watch films, he was easy to take out and about so essentially life wasn't made much more difficult by his arrival but now the house looks like a hovel, we rarely manage more than 1 meal a day and our sex life is non existant. Doing anything takes military precision planning and many things are prevented by his need to run constantly.
aibu to miss the ease of the early days and to think perhaps we're told it's tough so it'll seem easier?
I know all children are different but please someone let me know you too feel it just gets harder as they get older (and someone please promise me there's a point before 30 where it will get easier )
Maybe it's the fact I'm still recovering from his birth that makes it harder, I really am sure he's a fairly average toddler, but I'm knackered!
I'm so glad to read this OP everyone keeps telling me that the newborn stage is just something I'll have to 'get through' but I was rather looking forward to it.
I'm looking forward to hearing replies on this thread!
I have been told that the 'terrible twos' is the toughest stage and it starts to get easier after that, but I'm not sure!
My newborns refused to sleep unless I was feeding them or at least holding them. They woke up when unattached. I got no sleep. Things got easier when they reached toddlerhood and slept at night.
For me, it got a LOT harder as they got older, became independant, and started dropping naps.
I know that's not everyone's experience, but for me the newborn triumvirate of boob/sleep/nappy change was a doddle. The toddler/pre-school years have been a killer at times though.
Everyone will comment that some newborn babies are ridiculously hard so yabu... But I agree so Farsi yanbu for me. My DS slept through from a couple of months, was happy when awake, a dream. He's 9.5 months now and it's getting harder by the day. Cruising around, touching things he shouldn't, gotta have eyes in the back of my head, get nothing done, he wakes multiple times in the night, cries if I say no, is whiny etc it's hard.
It depends on the new born. My DS had awful reflux and the first five months of his life were a living nightmare for everyone involved. DD was the easiest baby in the world.
Age two was easier for me, but I don't have your toddler.
I really think it depends on how easy your baby is, how easy your toddler is and your own disposition. I am knackered with a toddler, but I also get more back from him now. And he sleeps!
All babies are different - lots only sleep on someone or refuse to sleep entirely. Also the getting up in the night thing is hard work. I prefer them as they get older personally. My oldest is nearly 5 and is lots easier than the one year old. You can take her anywhere.
Well, I found it a nightmare, but I do find 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 year olds a breeze. Really!
I had a constant crier.
Well, I certainly recognise the current state you are describing - mine are 5.9 and 3.9. But newborn stage was certainly not easy at all. I was exhausted and struggling to come to terms with motherhood. The house was a tip then, as it is now. And there has been no sexin this house for over a year
I've taught dd1 how to use playback on Sky and so working on getting her to do breakfast. Wake-up time for the girls is 5.30.
I too hope it gets easier.
I have a 1.5 year old. It has got progressively easier for me. As she has started to sleep better.
I think it not only depends on the baby, but also on the parents. What will be hardest for you? If you don't cope well with broken sleep, or take some time to get used to the reality of being a parent... well, that'll make things harder.
My first born was an angel! She slept 4 hours between every bottle... if she was awake she would lay in her crib, never cry. I remember saying to my mum how boring it all was... she woke once in the night and was sleeping thru by 4 months.
My second was a nightmare... had reflux, never slept, cried a lot!
Well all my 4 were easy as newborns but my dn screamed continously for months. I found it horrendous and she wasnt even mine!
It depends on the newborn entirely. Some are more difficult than others.
My son did not sleep properly for his entire first year, probably not more than an hour at a time. I wanted to kill myself cuz I found it so hard. So so hard. He was easy in other respects but some newborns have colic, problems breastfeeding or bottle feeding, reflux, sleep problems etc which makes things 100 times harder.
My son is 19 months and now I find it so easy, so I am one who found the newborn stage very hard but hopefully will continue to find the toddler stage a bit easier but kids develop so quickly up til school age that things change all the time.
Every child is different. If yours was easy to take care of as a newborn it doesn't mean that all of them are like that.
My DS was a nightmare newborn. He was either sucking on the boob or crying constantly and over time got better and better.
My DD is very chilled out and just now - at 5 months - started crying properly. Before 3 months I didn't even think she can cry. Plus she wants to be held all the time which doesn't do good to my and DP's backs.
I found the first 6-10 weeks with DS1 was just a matter of survival, incredibly hard and very very stressful emotionally.
Ds2 was entirely different and much easier
So, really be careful what you go around saying, if you're expecting to have more than 1!
I think you make a very good point. Having said that, I thought the newborn stage was pretty tough at the time. I remember my mother saying 'this is the easy bit, you wait until he starts moving' which I found extremely irritating
and now realise was true
The first 3/4 weeks with ds were a nightmare (bleeding nipples, Tt, weight loss) But from 1 month to 7 months were a dream. He slept through at 12 weeks and was generally a lovely, happy baby. Then he learned to crawl and stopped sleeping. He' sleeping really well now but I still find this toddler stage much harder than when he was a baby (he's almost 18 months) what with tantrums, he never stops, the mess, the whining....I could go on! I'm 35 weeks with number 2....I'm guessing a newborn and a toddler is going to be a bit of a fucker!!
My first baby was a dream! So chilled out and easy to look after. He slept through fairly early on and during the time he was waking at night, I'd feed him and he'd go straight back to sleep! It was easy...I couldn't understand the other mums I'd met who were struggling.
My second baby was much harder work! She barely slept and combined with a toddler to look after, I was exhausted!
Once you have two or more, its much much harder but really, one newborn...yanbu...its pretty easy.
I've had one easy baby and one bloody nightmare- I hated the newborn stage both times.
For me, it's got better as they've gold older (now 6 and 3). I don't think it's just about the kind of baby you have, but the kind of person you are; just like work, some of us are better suited to older ones, some toddlers and some newborns.
Most of us will at least enjoy one bit of their lives
NickyEds, I hate to say this but you guess correctly!
You are not being unreasonable for you but you are for those of us that had a terrible time of it and for those that are having a nightmare time with their newborns. Not all of them sleep loads; my 2nd Dc just screamed almost constantly for 6 months!
I feel the same as you op. My newborns did a lot of sleeping. Even though I had to hold them for most of the hours in the day it was calm and easy. I find when they get to age 2 much harder.
I think it depends upon the parents and the child - we're all different!
However, personally from my experience, I completely agree. I could just have been lucky though! DS was a dream baby. Slept when supposed to (12 a night hours by 3 months), rarely ill, happy boy. Could easily get everything done, and have time to relax in-between. We had a very good routine - and stuck to it.
I found it much harder from about 13 months - once attempting walking/moving about - and about 2 years of 5.30am waking up ready to start the day. No time for anything at all - house was fairly messy and I was shattered. Got even harder at 2 when gave up ALL daytime sleep.
It got easier after about 4 and continues to get easier. Though I wonder if it'll all go very wrong once he becomes a stroppy teenager. Maybe I'll be lucky and he won't be stroppy... but I certainly was!
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