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To not tell my OH his car was stolen?

(157 Posts)
Yulia989 Fri 05-Jun-15 10:42:24

We went away on holiday last week and took my car as it’s bigger than OH’s sports car.

We returned late Saturday night and after we’d unloaded the kids and cases I went to park my car at the end of the street. OH had left his car there for the week thinking it was safer at the end of the cul de sac rather than outside the house.

When I got to the end I noticed that his car had gone. I knew he’d left it there and nobody else had access to it so it was either towed (not likely) or stolen.

Now I’d just driven for 3 hours (OH slept) after a 3 hour flight with kids, and really didn’t want to go through the hassle of waiting for the police to visit when we could just do it in the morning after a nights sleep. I know that OH would have done it immediately though but then he wasn’t as tired as me!

So I said nothing and we went to bed. In the morning he went to the car and obviously it wasn’t there, went through the process of calling the police and it still hasn’t turned up. I feel a bit guilty about lying to him, but did it really matter in the end?

Archduke Fri 05-Jun-15 10:47:18

On balance . . . nope. If it made not one iota of difference.

Mind you if dh had done that to me I'd have been really cheesed off. Why couldn't dh have dealt with it last night and you slept if so exhausted?

Chillyegg Fri 05-Jun-15 10:49:53

Its his car thats been stolen not a garden gnome from the Pound shop.
Would you not be rather annoyed if your OH had noticed your car stolen and didn't say anything until because he was tired!? shock

pluCaChange Fri 05-Jun-15 10:50:54

Difficult one! However, is there a reason why he couldn't have dealt with the police while you all just went to bed and left him to it (or did you need all hands on deck: if so, YANBU).

Would the police have turned up immediately last night anyway?

However, he would probably be angry if he know you'd kept quiet, so now that you've lied, you'll have to never admit it. Even if he realises that you could have seen it when you parked, you'll have to plead exhaustion. After all, it wasn't there to see.

It's a lie, yes, but a white lie, because you're avoiding saying to him that you cared more about your sleep (also the DCs' supper and sleep!) than his car. It may be true, and quite reasonable, but it's kinder not to rub his face in that! smile

BlueBee Fri 05-Jun-15 10:51:31

I must admit I'd of been annoyed, what if it had been stolen that night and the police had a chance of spotting it?

Fudgeface123 Fri 05-Jun-15 10:51:35

maybe op didn't want the police coming round and trying to get herself/the kids to bed late at night.

I would have waited until the morning OP, a few hours isn't going to make much difference

pluCaChange Fri 05-Jun-15 10:51:37

if he knew you'd kept quiet

viva100 Fri 05-Jun-15 10:56:12

YABVU! If you were so exhausted you could have let him deal with it and gone to bed. And the car could have been stolen only a few hours before.
It's a big lie but I agree it's kinder to continue with it now. No need for him to know you didn't give a shit about such an expensive asset.

senua Fri 05-Jun-15 10:57:04

Isn't he going to work it out? What will you say when he asks if it was there last night when you parked yours?

Chunkymonkey79 Fri 05-Jun-15 10:57:57

What he doesn't know won't hurt him smile

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Fri 05-Jun-15 10:58:26

Why couldn't you have just told him then let him deal with it? I wouldn't say anything now as it will just cause more upset.

Yulia989 Fri 05-Jun-15 10:59:42

He asked if I saw it when I parked my car, but I just said I was exhausted and didn't notice.

If he'd have rung the police that night there'd have been no chance of me sleeping worrying about the police coming round, and the kids might have been distrubed too.

Grumpyoldbiddy Fri 05-Jun-15 10:59:43

I'd have been bloody fuming with you if you'd done this to me shock

Is it for real?

Legionofboom Fri 05-Jun-15 11:00:01

YABVU given that you knew your OH would have wanted to report it immediately. I cannot understand why you couldn't tell him and leave him to deal with it while you went to bed.

And it is impossible to know whether reporting it stolen the night before would have made a difference or not.

SaucyJack Fri 05-Jun-15 11:00:59

Yes- of course YWBU :-S

It's not like forgetting to mention there's no milk until the morning. Far too big a deal to not "mention".

If my DP lied by omission about something that important, it'd be a deal-breaker.

WayneRooneysHair Fri 05-Jun-15 11:01:17

I can understand why you did it but you were thinking about yourself, fuck me I hope he doesn't twig.

ImperialBlether Fri 05-Jun-15 11:02:22

Why would it be safer to park your car elsewhere than in front of your own house?

WanderWomble Fri 05-Jun-15 11:05:02

Yes, you were wrong not to tell him. Christ, I'd be furious if it was my car. It should have been reported straight away.

DragonWithAGirlTattoo Fri 05-Jun-15 11:06:09

i would be fucking fuming too if it was my car, surely the sooner you report something the quicker they can look in to it - what if it was being driven around last night

You should have told him and let him deal with it

Extremely poor behaviour

Yulia989 Fri 05-Jun-15 11:06:11

It's quite a narrow road and the wing mirrors on both our cars have been bumped before.

For people saying I should have let him deal with it, he's not really the type to handle this on his own. Even when we did ring the police the next day, I had to do it, then fill in the forms when they came. I would have had to do this on the night.

SoleSource Fri 05-Jun-15 11:06:23

YABU just WTF!

ItsTricky Fri 05-Jun-15 11:06:52

You should have told him straight away, op. It's not like a couple of flower pots were missing - it's his car!

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat Fri 05-Jun-15 11:13:55

Are you sure it hasn't been towed? I thought cars these days were pretty much impossible to steal without the keys?

DuchessofNorks Fri 05-Jun-15 11:24:33

What a shame, your poor DP. If my DH's car had been stolen I would bend over backwards to help him. He would be really upset and, quite frankly, relationships are give and take. When something awful happens to me my DH supports and helps me any way he can and vice versa!

WayneRooneysHair Fri 05-Jun-15 11:31:44


Professional car thieves can lift a car in under a minute, it's not impossible without keys at all.

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