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to think three children isn't a "big" family?

(89 Posts)
CheerfulYank Fri 05-Jun-15 05:53:38

DH and I have just had DC3 and I'm surprised at the amount of people who think it's a lot. (Not that it doesn't feel like a lot some days grin)

We've gotten so many comments about having our hands full, "surely you're done now", " wow! Three?!", etc. DH was a party the other day and the host introduced him to someone else and said "he and his wife have thirty seven kids or something." confused Obviously he was joking, but most people seem the think that three is a lot.

I thought 4+ was a "larger family", personally. Am I mistaken?

nailsathome Fri 05-Jun-15 06:00:43

We've just had DC2 and are shock at people saying that we shouldn't have any more, especially as we now have one of each. They can't understand when we say we'd like 3 more!

shushpenfold Fri 05-Jun-15 06:05:00

Nope, we found the same......apparently any more than the majority of the country, or more specifically any more than the most vocal and opinionated people in it have and it means that you have a BIG family (3 being enormous of course) Chill.....I love having more than 2, although I am stopping at 3!

SlicedPan Fri 05-Jun-15 06:06:16

I don't think 3 is that large but it does seem that most people these days stop at 2, so in comparison i guess it is larger!

I have 3 and it feels like 300grin

MrsNextDoor Fri 05-Jun-15 06:28:21

I think it's a lovely size....but the "norm" seems to be 1 or 2 these days. Any more does seem biggish.

tobysmum77 Fri 05-Jun-15 06:29:19

I think yabu but then 2 is more than enough for me

MrsMook Fri 05-Jun-15 06:29:48

Society is so set up around two children - things like family tickets, family hotel rooms. 3 children often means a change of car. With the current expectations of living and property prices, to have the expected ideal of one room each, you need a high income and large house, or becoming "overcrowded" sharing bedrooms. With fewer children walking to school, costs of childcare and expectations of activities, 3 children is logistically more complex than the typical 2.

Also with the average starting age for women having children being delayed by education, careers, property prices and greater control of contraception, less people find it practical to have a family larger than 3.

Traditionally it's not large at all, but modern standards and expectations make it a game changer.

Chimchar Fri 05-Jun-15 06:34:03

I have three kids. The majority of my school Mum friends have three kids too.
I don't consider it a big family, especially not compared with those having 5 or more kids...

We're trying to book a holiday at the moment. Holiday companies seem to thing that 3 kids in one family is non existent! Can't get us all in one room for love nor money!

Congratulations on your new baby!

I think they're just throwaway comments, I know far more families with 1 or 2 (and stopping there) than 3, so from many people's perspective you will have your hsnds full. We never even considered a third so it would certainly seem that way to me.

Kvetch15 Fri 05-Jun-15 06:40:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bungmean Fri 05-Jun-15 13:42:59

Defined by whom, Kvetch?

BigBirthdayGloom Fri 05-Jun-15 13:47:04

I've got three dc and it feels like a lot grin

MummyPig24 Fri 05-Jun-15 13:49:38

I have had a lot of comments like "you're brave" "you've got your hands full". I don't think 3 is a lot, but it's enough for me. Most of my friends have 3, many have 4.

Mcnorton Fri 05-Jun-15 13:52:54

I think it's a lot but if I made a comment (hopefully I would be too polite as it's none of my business) it would be along the lines of 'I'm in awe of you' as one is all I can cope with. I know my own limits grin

I am the only person I know with one child and I'm sick of comments about that! hmm

fattymcfatfat Fri 05-Jun-15 13:58:57

I personally class 6 as a large family. four is normal to me, as one of four, so one more doesn't seem big hence why 6 or more grin

chicaguapa Fri 05-Jun-15 14:00:02

I think it just comes from the 'outnumbered' school of thought; more children than parents seems a handful.

And what MrsMook said about everything being set up for 2+2. That was certainly a factor in deciding whether we would have a 3rd or not. It seems more than the cost of +1 when you go from 2 DC to 3.

googoodolly Fri 05-Jun-15 14:00:29

I think it's pretty average. Expensive though!

Number3cometome Fri 05-Jun-15 14:01:31

Currently 33+5 with DC 3

Random person: "Is it your first?"
Me: "No, third"
Random person: shock

fourchetteoff Fri 05-Jun-15 14:03:37

I'd say it was largish. I don't think I'd particularly comment on it though.

To me, four+ seems like an unfeasibly large number of children (I'm from a family of 5 kids) and at that point I might make a 'phew' comment, only because I know that my mum was never able to really give us enough time individually! (I know it's not the same for every family)

CheerfulYank Fri 05-Jun-15 14:05:28

That's the thing, many people around here seem to have 3 or 4 so I'm surprised that they're surprised!

The being outnumbered thing is a bit tough.

ShesAStar Fri 05-Jun-15 14:06:18

I think it's an average size family. I class anything up to four as average, more than four is big to me.

fourchetteoff Fri 05-Jun-15 14:07:22

I live in a previously 'Catholic' country now, and it's not unusual at all for families to have 4+ kids, even though they aren't 'Catholic' as such. I always boggle a bit, because I don't think I know any families in the Uk with more than 3 kids.

Babyroobs Fri 05-Jun-15 14:07:55

There are many families around where I live that have 4/5/6 + kids so three doesn't seem unusual to me.

Artandco Fri 05-Jun-15 14:09:17

I think it's large. I only Have 2 hands so anymore I would feel overwhelmed by

Notso Fri 05-Jun-15 14:09:40

We have 4 and are always defined by our 'massive family' or there are jokes about me being endlessly pregnant.

I know several families with five, two families with 6, one family with 8 and one with 12 so my 4 seem like a small family.

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