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to not take dd to party due to racism

(97 Posts)
irishmummy22 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:26:28

Hiya. I've been a lurker for ages. After todays incident I decided to join up to ask your opinion. A mum from my Dd`s school rang me this morning.

My DD is invited to her DD`s bday next week. She said, theres an issue with one of the kids previously invited. The mum had found out that the girl was a member of the travelling community. She was horrified.

She told me that she was telling the girls mum that she wasn't invited anymore because smelly knackers have no place in a clean house.

I was disgusted and told her well, in that case, my dd wont be attending the party because I don't like her attitude. My dh thinks I should have just left it and not said dd wouldn't be going. But im not the kind of person that keeps my mouth shut when I know someone is terribly wrong.

The kids are all 4. Dd isn't terribly fussed about the party tbh. In my opinion life is to short to waste it with people with old fashioned opinions like that.


AnyoneForTennis Thu 04-Jun-15 21:27:45

That really happened?

LaurieFairyCake Thu 04-Jun-15 21:27:52

I can't imagine anyone will say you're being unreasonable smile

Welcome to Mumsnet

irishmummy22 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:29:50

Yes, it honestly happened. Dh has me doubting myself

EmilyMaitliss Thu 04-Jun-15 21:30:08

Yanbu. Glad you had the confidence to explain your reasons why you would be boycotting the party. I would only hope the other parents agree with you - although I do feel sad for the little birthday girl. What a horrible ignorant woman.

Soduthen116 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:30:44

I have never heard the expression 'smelly knackers' and I am amazed the mum actually said that expression to you and was going to tell the traveller mum the samething.

She might regret that.

APlaceOnTheCouch Thu 04-Jun-15 21:31:21

Well done on your impeccable principles. grin

Seriouslyffs Thu 04-Jun-15 21:32:02

Good for you.
Not only is the woman racist, she's calling round making trouble too.

theroundball Thu 04-Jun-15 21:32:16

"I am amazed the mum actually said that expression to you and was going to tell the traveller mum the samething.

She might regret that."


conquistador Thu 04-Jun-15 21:32:48

What is 'smelly knackers'?

And, yanbu

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Jun-15 21:33:03

'Knackers' is an old fashioned word for gypsies.

I seriously doubt she's going to call the woman and her child smelly knackers.

YANBU and welcome to Mumsnet OP.

ItsTricky Thu 04-Jun-15 21:34:56

YANBU. Well done for standing up to her.

irishmummy22 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:35:16

Where IM from, (Dublin) knacker is a racist term for a traveller.

Flyinggeese21 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:35:50

OP what did she say when you said your D wasn't going?

Flyinggeese21 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:36:19

Welcome by the way! I'm quite new too.

DixieNormas Thu 04-Jun-15 21:36:55


irishmummy22 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:38:17

She was quite shocked. It knocked her for six. She muttered something about having to ring the soft play centre and hung up

AbbeyRoadCrossing Thu 04-Jun-15 21:39:27

Poor kid, YANBU

Flyinggeese21 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:40:54


Klayden Thu 04-Jun-15 21:40:56

Gosh, I've never come across anyone like this. I must lead a very dull life compared to some on here.

Nabuma Thu 04-Jun-15 21:42:03

irish well done for sticking to you're principles and not avoiding confrontation for an easy life. Your daughter and the little girl who has been ostracised need to have a little party themselves and the same afternoon-with no prejudiced snobs! grin

tobysmum77 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:42:29

yanbu I had a run in with a child's grandmother last year, although her language was less offensive.

I don't understand why it's not ok to be racist unless the victims are Gypsies.

AbbeyRoadCrossing Thu 04-Jun-15 21:44:28

I have unfortunately, but I'm Romany. I'm housed though so I'm not 'out' with everyone. The irony is that our 'smelly' homes are actually very clean. There's many cleanliness rules that non-gypsies don't have so it's interesting that both groups often think of the other as dirty.
I don't think this by the way as I'm between both cultures if that makes sense

irishmummy22 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:45:02

Nabuma, believe it or not, I literally just rang the traveller mum and asked her and her dd round for tea. She told me that the party girls mum had phoned her. She was in bits about being verbally abused.

Dublinlass Thu 04-Jun-15 21:45:24

Im from Ireland as well and unfortunately have heard that word used a lot over the years. Ive never heard it quite as openly and fair play to you for standing up for your principals. Welcome as well. Only joined myself couple weeks ago smile

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