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To think that this was a bit of an overreaction from ds

(26 Posts)
Lollypop27 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:25:10

My ds is 13 and catches a bus provided by the school to and from school. He has made friends with a couple of boys on the bus who live in our village. Boy 1 let's call him Dave and boy 2 let's call him John.

Ds has a nickname that He has had for years and he introduces himself to people using this name. He has the name on his football shirt (his choice) so it's not unusual for him to be called this. If you didn't know why he was called this you may think that someone is being rude to him.

The boys he has made friends with are always around and they come here, go out, etc. they are lovely boys and ds speaks very highly of them. He is constantly asking if John and Dave can come round.

Anyway today on the bus the boys called ds by his nickname and the bus driver overheard. She spoke to ds on his own and asked if they called it him all the time and he said yes. He was then called out of class by the head of year who said did ds want them to stop calling him this name? Ds said yes and the head of year said they were bullying him. The boys will be dealt with tomorrow and parents are likely to be called in.

Ds has not told his friends this. They were here last night and have been texting this evening. I have spoken to him and he is not being bullied - not feeling threatened or upset by the boys which was my main concern. I tried to explain to him that the friendships may not last after this.

I'm wondering wether to call the school tomorrow and explain that yes he doesn't want to be called this name anymore by those two but it's not a bullying case (our school come down quite hard on bullies)

What would you do?

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Jun-15 21:28:46

I don't understand.

Is he deliberately trying to get his friends into trouble?

DixieNormas Thu 04-Jun-15 21:30:44

Id phone the school and explain and id make it clear to ds that what he said to the head will have gotten his friends into trouble throgh no fault of their own

potoftea Thu 04-Jun-15 21:30:47

I'd call the school first thing and explain that there's no bullying going on. It could get very serious and as you say end the friendships.
It sounds like your son has grown out of the nickname and wants to loose it, but didn't realise what the school was really asking.

DixieNormas Thu 04-Jun-15 21:32:00

He is 13? He should know exactly what he has done at that age. Does he have any sn?

QuiteLikely5 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:32:24

How ridiculous!

Surely your son should have told you and everyone else he didn't want to be called this name anymore rather than confirming it to the head?

Yes I suggest you contact the school tomorrow as a matter of urgency.

The other boys aren't going to take to kindly to this and I can understand why. It's petty. But since your son is only 13 I'll lay the blame on his age and lack of maturity

QuiteLikely5 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:32:44

Too not to

potoftea Thu 04-Jun-15 21:33:14

Oh, and I'd thank the school for being so proactive about potential bullying. Sounds really good of them.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 04-Jun-15 21:34:27

Did the bus driver assume that because dave and John always use the nick name, then they must be bullying your son?
Or did your son say he was being bullied?
Somebody has probably mis-understood something!
Chat with your son and with the school.

MrsNextDoor Thu 04-Jun-15 21:35:53

Why is he not happy about it suddenly? You make it seem as though he was happy about it until the driver asked about it? If it's not a nice name, why did you let him have it on his football shirt!?

RedDwarfPosse Thu 04-Jun-15 21:36:43

So he wants to be known to everyone by this nickname, even having it written on his football shirt, but he doesn't want these two friends to call him by this nickname (which they are unaware of)... why?

Klayden Thu 04-Jun-15 21:43:23

Am I the only one really curious about the nickname? blush

Lollypop27 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:44:00

Mrsnextdoor. I didn't allow him to have his name put on the shirt he asked the manager to have it out on.

He has no Sen. I agree he may be outgrowing the name so I have told him to stop introducing himself to people using it and to take it off his facebook name.

The head of year said it sounds like bullying are you being bullied and ds said yes. If he was being bullied I would be backing him 100% but I feel this is a bit petty.

I read some of his messages on his phone tonight and it seems as if there has been an issue with a girl who ds likes. Apparently the boys told her and ds is now in a huff.

I am going to phone the school tomorrow morning.

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Jun-15 21:46:03

What do you mean it's a 'bit petty'??

This is 100% bloody nasty.

He needs to explain to the head of year about the nickname, just as he should have explained to the bus driver!

Lollypop27 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:48:08

The nickname - I will probably out myself now - is nobby. When he was little he was obsessed with Star Wars and he said everyone was to call him obi nobby nobby. It's kind of stuck.

HoldYerWhist Thu 04-Jun-15 21:52:14

So he's lying about being bullied and is getting his best friends in trouble for calling him by a name he wanted to be called by?


That's a good way to lose friends. I'd be disgusted if this was my ds.

Lollypop27 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:52:56

Worra I agree it is nasty.

If I could take him in to school myself tomorrow I would and I would get him to explain it. I will call the school and explain the situation and if ds gets on to trouble then so be it.

TurnOverTheTv Thu 04-Jun-15 21:53:54

Very nasty behaviour. He needs to go and see the HOY first thing and explain

ttc2015 Thu 04-Jun-15 21:57:15

I can see why they thought it was an unpleasant name, your DS has done himself a disfavour by lying about the bullying just because he's annoyed with them. He might lose the friendships, I'd call the head up quickly tomorrow and explain. Your DS will probably in trouble with them for lying about it.

HoldYerWhist Thu 04-Jun-15 21:59:17

I hope he realises just what he's messing around with.

Children kill themselves because of bullying and he's lying about it?

CrapBag Thu 04-Jun-15 22:03:56

Is he genuinely lying about it or is there more going on. I'm only asking because it seems very odd of him to do this to his friends. Unless he is really pissed off about this girl thing and this is his way of getting back at them?

Why is nobby offensive? Sorry for my ignorance but it just sounds like a nickname to me.

RedDwarfPosse Thu 04-Jun-15 22:05:17

I think we should all remember that he's still just a kid who took the opportunity to get his own back on the friends who betrayed his trust by outing him to the girl he likes. We've all been done stupid things as kids so I think you could stop laying into the op by calling her d's 'nasty'... but obviously he does need to understand the repercussions of this so you are right to let the head know. And maybe it's time to erase the nickname from everything if he really doesn't like it anymore

MissMuesli Thu 04-Jun-15 22:53:41

Yes I would say firstly found out whether there is more to it. Maybe your son is being bullied. Maybe he ljkes the name but now it's being used in a horrible way unlike the fun way it has been used before.

He is only 13 so I wouldn't go to crazy but if he has over reacted and tried to get his friends in trouble then I would call before the boys get calls in for a chat but then make your son explain to teacher to.

Knob is slang for penis, so could be seen as offensive to the poster who asked .

ttc2015 Fri 05-Jun-15 10:59:54

CrapBag nobby is also a shortened version of 'knobhead', at least it was at my school.

CrapBag Fri 05-Jun-15 12:02:00

Oh right. I have never heard of it in that context before. We just said knobhead or rarely knobber. Or bellend. grin that's a good word I haven't used for a while.

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