My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Omg omg NEW 50 SHADES EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT

32 replies

MrPointy · 04/06/2015 20:40

For us "ladies"

linky!!!

OP posts:
Report
ginmakesitallok · 04/06/2015 20:46
Grin
Report
MrPointy · 04/06/2015 20:47

Bump!

Surely there are others excited by this amazing piece of writing?

OP posts:
Report
Fluffyears · 04/06/2015 20:47

I can't read t the writing is awful!

Report
ghostyslovesheep · 04/06/2015 20:48

very good - though not quiet awful enough to be convincing

Report
ElphabaTheGreen · 04/06/2015 20:49

I'm biting my lip in anticipation and my inner goddess is dancing.

Hmm

I fancy suing EL James for the brain cells I lost to that piece of shit.

Report
OurGlass · 04/06/2015 20:50

Why do you start your threads with Omg omg?

Report
LavenderRain · 04/06/2015 20:51

What crap is this?! Hmm

Report
CumberCookie · 04/06/2015 20:55

BWahahahahah!

Report
ElphabaTheGreen · 04/06/2015 20:55

Actually...it's quite funny Grin

(Tis a spoof, "ladies")

Report
Violetcloud · 04/06/2015 20:58

Brilliant, reading that turned Mr Grey into Sir Alan Sugar in my mind.

That's an image that will stay with me.

Report
Koalafications · 04/06/2015 21:00

That's given me my first laugh in a few days

Report
MrPointy · 04/06/2015 21:05

koalafications Smile

OP posts:
Report
londonrach · 04/06/2015 21:06

Amazing piece of writing...op you are talking about the same book that i attempted to read. Its was very badly written and very boring. Some of the mills and boom (my name for it) which i read as a teenager were better than this book series in every way...

Report
AnotherGirlsParadise · 04/06/2015 21:09

“Tell me, Miss Nubile,” I say, wealthily, “what brings you to my colossal edifice?”

I HAVE to start saying things 'wealthily' now! Grin

Report
sweetkitty · 04/06/2015 21:12

I think I actually wet myself a bit reading that, the cabinet containing the Dead Sea scolls Grin

Report
MrsEvadneCake · 04/06/2015 21:16

I kept hearing it in the voice that Rik Mayall used for Lord Flasheart. Woof!

Report
DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 04/06/2015 21:20

FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra.

50shadesofshite nearly got us all killed on the péage. DW had the font jacked up to 24, I glance over, and I'm presented with the words "...as I took him deeper into mouth".

You can't unsee that stuff.

Report
Seriouslyffs · 04/06/2015 21:24

'There’s something about her wittering immaturity, her pouting humourlessness, and her pathetically low self-esteem that I find deeply alluring.'
Hahaha

Report
MrPointy · 04/06/2015 22:05

londonrach, honestly, this extract is a master piece. Read it. Smile.

OP posts:
Report
MrPointy · 04/06/2015 22:07

ourglass coz I want to.

OP posts:
Report
LurcioAgain · 04/06/2015 22:14

I'm confused ... (bites lower lip). Surely the bible didn't have a single author, so how could you have a signed copy? And I know American authors sometimes get things about Britain wrong (bites lip again in puzzlement) but DFS as a place where you'd get expensive trendy furniture? Surely publishers have fact checkers for this sort of thing. And didn't Van Gogh commit suicide? And having the floor perpendicular to the walls - that's a bit bourgeois and dull for cutting edge architecture, isn't it?

But the sex scene was really hawt - or should that be "smexy" (not quite up to date on my teen argot anymore) - my inner goddess is dancing the lambada too, now.

Report
Yarp · 04/06/2015 22:16

Holy crap!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Yarp · 04/06/2015 22:17

All of you stop biting your lips. My fly swat is getting twitchy

Report
CrapBag · 04/06/2015 22:19

That is very funny and possibly how the book may go. Grin

"I decide to tantalise her with a series of subtle hints about my extracurricular interests.

“I’ll have a crate of nipple clamps, a bathtub of lubricant and 39 enormous black dildos, please,” I say."

Grin

Report
fourchetteoff · 04/06/2015 22:19

That is hilarious!!

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.