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Omg omg NEW 50 SHADES EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT

(33 Posts)
MrPointy Thu 04-Jun-15 20:40:36

For us "ladies"

linky!!!

ginmakesitallok Thu 04-Jun-15 20:46:25

grin

MrPointy Thu 04-Jun-15 20:47:05

Bump!

Surely there are others excited by this amazing piece of writing?

Fluffyears Thu 04-Jun-15 20:47:51

I can't read t the writing is awful!

ghostyslovesheep Thu 04-Jun-15 20:48:09

very good - though not quiet awful enough to be convincing

ElphabaTheGreen Thu 04-Jun-15 20:49:35

I'm biting my lip in anticipation and my inner goddess is dancing.

hmm

I fancy suing EL James for the brain cells I lost to that piece of shit.

OurGlass Thu 04-Jun-15 20:50:51

Why do you start your threads with Omg omg?

LavenderRain Thu 04-Jun-15 20:51:29

What crap is this?! hmm

CumberCookie Thu 04-Jun-15 20:55:40

BWahahahahah!

ElphabaTheGreen Thu 04-Jun-15 20:55:58

Actually...it's quite funny grin

(Tis a spoof, "ladies")

Violetcloud Thu 04-Jun-15 20:58:40

Brilliant, reading that turned Mr Grey into Sir Alan Sugar in my mind.

That's an image that will stay with me.

Koalafications Thu 04-Jun-15 21:00:09

That's given me my first laugh in a few days

MrPointy Thu 04-Jun-15 21:05:32

koalafications <bows> smile

londonrach Thu 04-Jun-15 21:06:46

Amazing piece of writing...op you are talking about the same book that i attempted to read. Its was very badly written and very boring. Some of the mills and boom (my name for it) which i read as a teenager were better than this book series in every way...

AnotherGirlsParadise Thu 04-Jun-15 21:09:32

“Tell me, Miss Nubile,” I say, wealthily, “what brings you to my colossal edifice?”

I HAVE to start saying things 'wealthily' now! grin

sweetkitty Thu 04-Jun-15 21:12:19

I think I actually wet myself a bit reading that, the cabinet containing the Dead Sea scolls grin

MrsEvadneCake Thu 04-Jun-15 21:16:20

I kept hearing it in the voice that Rik Mayall used for Lord Flasheart. Woof!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome Thu 04-Jun-15 21:20:22

FoxtrotFoxtrotSierra.

50shadesofshite nearly got us all killed on the péage. DW had the font jacked up to 24, I glance over, and I'm presented with the words "...as I took him deeper into mouth".

You can't unsee that stuff.

Seriouslyffs Thu 04-Jun-15 21:24:51

'There’s something about her wittering immaturity, her pouting humourlessness, and her pathetically low self-esteem that I find deeply alluring.'
Hahaha

MrPointy Thu 04-Jun-15 22:05:57

londonrach, honestly, this extract is a master piece. Read it. smile.

MrPointy Thu 04-Jun-15 22:07:05

ourglass coz I want to.

LurcioAgain Thu 04-Jun-15 22:14:45

I'm confused ... (bites lower lip). Surely the bible didn't have a single author, so how could you have a signed copy? And I know American authors sometimes get things about Britain wrong (bites lip again in puzzlement) but DFS as a place where you'd get expensive trendy furniture? Surely publishers have fact checkers for this sort of thing. And didn't Van Gogh commit suicide? And having the floor perpendicular to the walls - that's a bit bourgeois and dull for cutting edge architecture, isn't it?

But the sex scene was really hawt - or should that be "smexy" (not quite up to date on my teen argot anymore) - my inner goddess is dancing the lambada too, now.

Yarp Thu 04-Jun-15 22:16:09

Holy crap!

Yarp Thu 04-Jun-15 22:17:31

All of you stop biting your lips. My fly swat is getting twitchy

CrapBag Thu 04-Jun-15 22:19:43

That is very funny and possibly how the book may go. grin

"I decide to tantalise her with a series of subtle hints about my extracurricular interests.

“I’ll have a crate of nipple clamps, a bathtub of lubricant and 39 enormous black dildos, please,” I say."

grin

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