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to contact the police about my neighbor?

(242 Posts)

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leanne45 Wed 03-Jun-15 14:59:34

Basically we had a massive party last weekend ,admittedly it went on later than we'd planned and carried on a bit on sunday ,but it's not like it's everyweekend, it's maybe twice a year at most.

So on monday, my husband was leaving for work and the next door neighbour confronted him about the noise. hubby just told him he needs to get a life and walked past him,because to be honest it's our house and again it's not like it's every weekend.

As he tried to walk past ,the neighbour grabbed him by the throat and basically said anymore noise and he would hurt us. He then saw me later ,came out and called me 'subhuman' and swore at me and went back in the house .Another neighbour he was out in his garden saw this, but said nothing.

Iam not comfortable living here now, and I want to call the police,because Iam worried what he might do.My hubby just says it could make things worse. He doesn't work,or doesn't seem to ,according to some people round here he has mental problems and he goes to the gym everyday, to be honest they way he acted and looks like he is on steriods. Could the police search his house and get him out of there that way? he rents.

tootiredtoknow Wed 03-Jun-15 15:03:51

In all honesty what do you expect? Grabbing your husband by the throat isn't acceptable behaviour. However, neither is disturbing entire somebodies weekend and then having the nerve to tell said neighbour to get a life instead of apologising. Unless there is something you have left out, you need to apologise.

FlabbyFlabbyBits Wed 03-Jun-15 15:04:32

Well obviously the man shouldn't have been violent, but perhaps your DH may have been a bit rude if he said 'get a life'. Lack of sleep can make people behave badly.

Did you inform your neighbours in advance you were having a party and the music would be loud and probably interfere with their evening? Often it's good to invite your close neighbours to the party - no one can complain then.

madamginger Wed 03-Jun-15 15:05:32

And you will be flamed for this

ilovesooty Wed 03-Jun-15 15:06:17

Perhaps you could call Jeremy Kyle and ask to go on the show.

Of course it wasn't acceptable but you had the party in the first place and your husband was incredibly rude.
Nice stuff having a go at the unemployed and renters though.

DamnBamboo Wed 03-Jun-15 15:06:55

Your behaviour by way of a party that went on for 1.5 days is incredibly thoughtless and your husband was incredibly rude.

So because this guy didn't appreciate being disturbed for 36 hours (give or take) - he needs to get a life.

Clearly he shouldn't have assaulted your DH but on balance, you and your DH sound like dicks!

It being your house is not an excuse for prolonged antisocial behaviour without fair warning, which is is exactly what you did.

asmallandnoisymonkey Wed 03-Jun-15 15:07:10

God, you sound like a joy to live near.

ilovesooty Wed 03-Jun-15 15:07:18

Oh, and a hat trick. Mental problems too.

hmc Wed 03-Jun-15 15:07:22

The man should not have assaulted your husband.

But frankly I don't care if you only have a 'massive party' twice a year - I'd hate you for it and make a fuss (probably would have made a complaint to the police about the noise)

anorakgirl Wed 03-Jun-15 15:07:57

Not condoning any violence but what a pair of nasty neighbours you and your husband sound. Did you let the neighbours know you were having a 'massive party'? And how rude of your husband to tell neighbour to get a life?

AuntyMag10 Wed 03-Jun-15 15:08:08

Yea right this happened biscuit

DamnBamboo Wed 03-Jun-15 15:08:09

Why the fuck does his physical size or the fact that he rents have anything to do with this.

How big are you OP? How much do you earn?

EducateTogetheralumnus Wed 03-Jun-15 15:08:10

Grabs a brew and some popcorn.

Yabu by the way. Very.

Aermingers Wed 03-Jun-15 15:08:32

Tell you what, how about next time you have a party you go around and tell your neighbours? And if they complain, you apologise and say you will let them know next time and try to finish it earlier rather than being rude.

Yes the man shouldn't have reacted like that, but it sounds like you and your DH are nasty inconsiderate bullies who have discovered that when you behave like a pair of shits sometimes you pick on the wrong person and it bites you on the arse.

Does it not tell you something that your other neighbour was prepared to look the other way? He obviously thinks you deserve it and I doubt the police will be interested because I suspect the witness will say nothing happened. I doubt you can get rid of him from the house either. The landlord is probably glad he has a tenant who will stand up to you rather than simply moving out.

Perhaps you should consider moving somewhere more suitable like a light house or a desert island where normal people will be spared living next door to you?

anorakgirl Wed 03-Jun-15 15:09:01

And search his house on what evidence? That he looks like he might take steroids? Get a grip!

GemmaTeller Wed 03-Jun-15 15:09:43

So you had a party that went on for one and a half days and you can't see why your neighbour was pissed off?

Aermingers Wed 03-Jun-15 15:09:58

If I was your neighbour and I saw that I would probably have applauded.

Number3cometome Wed 03-Jun-15 15:10:32

Unless your DH has any injuries the police are not going to take any action, the most they will do is have a word with the neighbour.

You say your party went on until in to Sunday - what time are we talking?

Did you warn your neighbours first that you were having a party? Even twice a year would be a lot for a 'massive party' as you stated.

There is no excuse for the neighbours' behaviour, but if I said to one of my neighbours that I wasn't happy with their noise and they retorted to me to get a life, I would probably explode too (although not physically)

I would leave it well alone now, don't go knocking, but keep your noise down. It'll die down.

BeenWondering Wed 03-Jun-15 15:12:42

'Hubby' YABU for using that word alone.

Goldmandra Wed 03-Jun-15 15:12:53

YANBU to consider calling the police about a physical assault but YABU to disturb your neighbours like this, even if it is only twice a year.

Why do you think you have the right to have parties that keep people awake all night and into the next day?

Having a party in your house is fine. Making noise that invades other people's houses is not. You are being selfish and inconsiderate of the people who live around you. You have no idea of what challenges they may be facing in their lives or the consequences to them of losing that sleep. For example, last summer some neighbours of ours had a housewarming party with very loud music well into the early hours which caused our autistic DD an enormous amount of distress and disrupted the whole family's sleep for several nights afterwards.

If you want good relationships with your neighbours, try treating them with more respect and consideration.

The5DayChicken Wed 03-Jun-15 15:13:06

Assault isn't called for but if you'd kept me up like that then had the nerve to tell me to get a life when I tried to have a word about it, I'd want to assault you too. I wouldn't do it but I'd definitely want to.

NerrSnerr Wed 03-Jun-15 15:13:34

He was unreasonable to be physically violent.

You were unreasonable for having a whole weekend party, your husband telling him to get a life and for listening to gossip about 'mental problems'

Icimoi Wed 03-Jun-15 15:13:42

YABVU. Our neighbours had a big party last weekend, though it didn't go on into Sunday. They warned us about it well in advance and brought round a bottle of wine afterwards. That is the way to deal with the fact that your party disturbs your neighbours.

And no, on that evidence the police wouldn't search the neighbour's house, nor would a search mean that he had to leave. The police are more likely to warn both the neighbour and your husband about their behaviour and leave it at that.

bostonbaby Wed 03-Jun-15 15:14:31

Knock on and ask him for a fight

Penguinandminipenguin Wed 03-Jun-15 15:14:39

I'm not surprised your neighbour was pissed off! The "get a life" comment was completely unnecessary after you've disturbed your neighbours for 1.5 days.

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