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To think my house isn't a hotel

(16 Posts)
Clairejessica123 Tue 02-Jun-15 17:46:24

My husband is currently away for six months with work and I am pregnant with our first. He was worried about me being at home by myself so I invited a friend to stay who was currently living at home. I'm known my friend since high school and thought it would be nice to have the company.

When she first moved it I showed her where everything was and mentioned to help herself to things in the cupboards and how the washing machine worked etc. she would often do washing up in the evenings and occassionaly Hoover.

I wouldn't expect a houseguest to do a huge amount and I wouldn't say I was precious about my home (I have a dog that sheds everywhere) however I feel like my friend has reverted back to her teenage years.

On the side of the sofa she sits on in the evening there are currently 3 glasses, a packet of empty crisps, a packet of half eaten crisps, empty coke bottle and other rubbish. In her bedroom there are empty glasses and random piles of clothes dumped everywhere. Tissues and make up wipes all over the floor even though there is a bin in her bedroom and the bathroom.
When it comes to her clothes washing she tends to dump about two weeks worth at a time in the basket at once.

I've had a stressful few weeks so I'm not sure if I'm bu and am just being sensitive but surely I'm not her mother and expected to clean up after her?

ineedabodytransplant Tue 02-Jun-15 17:51:23

But you wouldn't live in a Hotel and be like she is (well, I wouldn't)

Sounds to me likes she making herself a little too comfortable.

God knows what will hapopen when you ask her to leave hmm

ineedabodytransplant Tue 02-Jun-15 17:51:44

happen not hapopen

OstentatiousBreastfeeder Tue 02-Jun-15 17:56:49

Was she a slob at her parents' house?

Are they going to take her back or is she looking for a place of her own?

She's taking the piss a bit, if you're living somewhere for free it's the bare minimum to pull your weight. Sounds as though she's making herself comfortable.

Clairejessica123 Tue 02-Jun-15 17:57:04

My mum suggested not touching anything until her rubbish starts falling off the table but with a greedy dog I think he may get to it before she does!! She knows she will be moving out when i start the nursery (no date set in stone) and that will be before dh returns

FenellaFellorick Tue 02-Jun-15 17:59:09

Have you talked to her? Told her that it's not acceptable?

MissJoMarch Tue 02-Jun-15 18:00:18

I suggest you let her know you'll be starting nursery in two weeks and be firm.

Anyone who is that bad a guest has no manners, is not a friend & will be a pain in the arse to get rid of.

Start now and get her out

Clairejessica123 Tue 02-Jun-15 18:09:38

I haven't told her directly. I've hinted when she's asked how my day has been that I've been doing washing all day or cleaning (I work pt) my husband suggested cleaning her room once and it might shock her into realising how dirty it is. Her mum always used to say how bad her room was and she would always laugh it off.

YouTheCat Tue 02-Jun-15 18:12:21

I'd just tell her it's time to leave. She's totally disrespectful.

WowProjectingMuch Tue 02-Jun-15 18:14:17

Really! How about you just tell her?
Why would you find that difficult? Does she know some deep dark secret of yours that u are scared she will blab to the world confused

Your mums advice is a bit weak.

I'd tell her to start pulling her weight or leave. That's lovely and clear and not passive aggressive

Flisspaps Tue 02-Jun-15 18:15:15

I'd think her bedroom is her bedroom - if it's untidy, close the door.

She should be doing her own laundry though, and cleaning up after herself in communal areas.

Icimoi Tue 02-Jun-15 18:18:16

What do you mean by "start the nursery"? Is she due to stay till after the baby's born?

VenusRising Tue 02-Jun-15 18:23:34

You need to give her her date to leave and be firm. I'd go for two weeks from now. Gives her plenty of time and gives you time to get your house back in order before you begin to feel really pregnant and totally stressed.

She sounds like she's a filthy nightmare, and better gone soon and definitely before you begin to get really pregnant. By really pregnant I mean where you might begin to get aches and pains with the growing baby.

I always found I wanted things done and dusted before the babes came by seven months as I had SPD in later stages and couldn't hold things or move very well as my wrists and pelvis kind of gave way. My babies were large also and I had rib splay as they grew. This made it hard to breathe and was very uncomfortable in the last two months.

I'm not syaing your ligaments will be weak like mine were, but it a surprise to me about mine, and things don't always run as smooth as we like with pregnancy.
Start to organise your nursery as soon as you can, and remember you owe her nothing.

Take it easy!

Clairejessica123 Tue 02-Jun-15 18:27:50

The bedroom she is currently staying in will become our spare bedroom/study so the study has to be emptied before any nursery furniture can go in. Thankfully my parents are close by so they will be helping me with my sister. Venus I understand During early pregnancy I did have a lot of hip pain and I've been seeing an osteopath who has been a god send but he said I will suffer later on.

VenusRising Tue 02-Jun-15 18:35:53

Ok, if you're under the care of an osteopath, then the sooner you have access to the rooms you need to change things around in, the better.

Please don't leave it too late when you might have excruciating pain trying to get things ready. You need to do a little bit every day and break up the tasks so you don't get overwhelmed, or out of alignment. Be careful of yourself.

Your house guest is long past her best before date. Time to say goodbye to her and crack on with what you need to do for your family in a slow and steady way.

Rest up when needed and relax, you have a hip that's niggly now and you're growing a babe. I hate to say it but your hip will probably get worse before long, so plan ahead, and have everything ready before you think you need it ready by, as you might not even be able to walk, or hold anything as I wasn't. Best to be ready for your babe!

The cheeky mare is at the bottom of your list of priorities, and has to go.

Good luck with it all!

maninawomansworld Wed 03-Jun-15 15:03:29

She's staying in your house - lay down the law or tell her to move out!

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