Aibu to ask for advice re social services, ally upset

(48 Posts)
ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:23:16

Name changed as identifying. I really need advice or I won't sleep tonight worrying.
My dd 16 is under camhs due to anxiety and self harm , she has taken two overdoses this year. However since starting medication six weeks ago she is doing so much better. No suicidal thoughts, no self harm , going out with her friends etc
Last week sw assessed all our dc due to a malicious allegation. They have confirmed no concerns about our dc. However during the visit dd told them she was going to New Zealand to stay with her Aunt and Uncle after her exams. Dd has had a horrible year with bullying at school and mental health problems. This trip means so much to her. Today I received a phone call from
Camhs saying SS had concerns about dd travelling to NZ alone that she was vulnerable etc. Her Aunt and Uncle are both nurses , dd is three months of 17.
Dd would be devastated if she can't go to NZ . Does anyone know if SS can legally stop her going? I feel sick with worry for her. She has been through a lot.
We are still waiting for SS to write to us closing the assessment although in the day we were told she was recommending no action.
Thank you for reading.

Athenaviolet Mon 01-Jun-15 23:26:11

That seems really odd.

WinnieTheWilt Mon 01-Jun-15 23:26:47

Could you phone the SW to clarify tomorrow? paperwork can be slow

Icimoi Mon 01-Jun-15 23:29:35

Is it the travelling alone that they are worrying about? How used to travelling is she? If it's a non-stop flight and you take her to the airport here whilst aunt and uncle meet her at the other end, I would hope that would allay at least some of their concerns.

AlpacaMyBags Mon 01-Jun-15 23:30:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:34:30

I spoke to the SW today she said assessment hadn't been completed as due to half term she couldn't speak to the dc's schools.
Regarding the NZ trip she just said we have concerns because she is vulnerable and takes medication.
Yes I think it's the travelling alone that's the problem. We are obviously taking her and Aunt picking her up but she died have a stop over.
Dd is nearly 17 though and yes she has had a rough year. However if she was still very unwell there is no chance her dad and I would be letting her go.
Just wondered if anyone knew if SS can legally stop her , or just say they don't want her to go?

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:36:04

I wanted to pay for unaccompanied minor but she is to old with the airline she is flying with.
I think they may also be concerned in case she becomes very depressed away from her camhs "support".

Rinoachicken Mon 01-Jun-15 23:36:10

There is no such thing as a non-stop flight from UK to NZ icimoi

DancingDinosaur Mon 01-Jun-15 23:36:39

Is it the flight they are worried about, or who she's going to stay with. Not saying theres anything wrong with your relatives obviously but wonder if they are concerned about that, and her leaving the country where they can't monitor things.

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:37:03

* died = does

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:37:54

No concerns about her Aunt and Uncle , ironically they are both mental health nurses.

Rinoachicken Mon 01-Jun-15 23:38:23

I flew to New Zealand a couple of days after being discharged from a psychiatric unit. A friend of mine who dropped me at the airport went to the desk and told them I was a first time flier and vulnerable and they arranged for someone to meet me off the plane in Singapore and take me to my next gate to make sure I made my connecting flight.

If you speak to the airline they should be able to do similar for you

DancingDinosaur Mon 01-Jun-15 23:38:34

Well, she's under 18, they could take steps to stop her. Unlikely I would have thought unless they perceive it to be a very real risk to her.

Rinoachicken Mon 01-Jun-15 23:38:57

That was with Cathay Pacific btw

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:39:15

Dd doesn't have a SW and the unfounded allegation was regarding a younger sibling.

Birdsgottafly Mon 01-Jun-15 23:39:52

It isn't the flying SS would be concerned about, but they have said that no action will be taken, so until you receive something in writing, don't do anything.

It sounds like they have asked CAMHS for
their assessment and they have reported no concerns.

Your DD is, to some extent a vulnerable Young Person/Adult and there is a "Duty of Care" towards her.

How were you told that no further action would be taken, by the CP SW?

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:41:36

Thanks Rino I will ask. If they don't stop her from going.
How DancingDinosaur? She is old enough to leave home if she wants.
Would a court really stop her from going?

DancingDinosaur Mon 01-Jun-15 23:42:56

I'd try and work with camhs to ensure the best outcome for your dd. if it would benefit her to go, work with them to figure out strategies to keep her safe when she's out there. If you can address all the 'what if's' together, then it would make them happier, you happier, and your dd safer with a good action plan in place.

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:43:24

Birds, the SW said on her way out of the house that she would be recommending no further action.
She was lovely the whole time she was with the dc.

DancingDinosaur Mon 01-Jun-15 23:43:30

Unlikely chips tbh. Possible, but unlikely.

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:46:10

Thanks Dancing that's a good idea re camhs. Her psychiatrist said they would not stop her going but neither did they support it until they had assessed her now she is on medication.

CandyLane Mon 01-Jun-15 23:47:15

You can have a meet and greet service, the airports offer it.
So they will make sure she gets on the flight ok but not actually accompany her on the flight, anybody can use it.

Is it just a transit stop or an over night stop over?

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:47:29

What's unlikely? The no further action? The allegation was regarding a younger sibling that very obviously had not received a non accidental injury.

ChipsAndRedSauce Mon 01-Jun-15 23:48:20

Thanks Candy, it's just a transit stop.

DancingDinosaur Mon 01-Jun-15 23:48:34

Good luck chips. Hope it all works out well and your dd has a lovely break away from the stress.

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