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AIBU?

seats on public transport

245 replies

sassyandsixty · 01/06/2015 17:31

OK, I know I'm old-fashioned, but is it unreasonable to expect children to give up seats for older people these days? During half-term, a crowd of children rushed onto the train and grabbed seats that older people were aiming for. They then complained when asked (very politely) to give them up. Parents were around, but didn't even try to get their kids to stand - only gave us the evil eye. What is going on here?

OP posts:
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yesiwouldlikefrieswiththat · 01/06/2015 17:33

How old were the children?

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mountainofdreams · 01/06/2015 17:33

Not old fashioned at all. I'm in my mid twenties and was taught this as common courtesy!

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SaucyJack · 01/06/2015 17:34

How much older? Elderly?

I'm older than a teenager, but I'm not rude enough to expect another paying customer to give me their seat just cos I can't be arsed to stand up.

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Babiecakes11 · 01/06/2015 17:34

This reply has been deleted

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Babiecakes11 · 01/06/2015 17:35

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SunnyBaudelaire · 01/06/2015 17:36

this has already been the subject of at least two recent threads. And no doubt it will garner the same answers. why on earth should children stand up for able bodied adults?

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WhetherOrNot · 01/06/2015 17:36

I'm older than a teenager, but I'm not rude enough to expect another paying customer to give me their seat just cos I can't be arsed to stand up.

Or, in my case, because I can't, eh?

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Babiecakes11 · 01/06/2015 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThingummyJigg · 01/06/2015 17:37

depends on the age of the children imo

small ones topple over a bit, bigger ones (age 10+?) could stand

also depends on 'older' - if you mean a pensioner then yes, anyone could give up a seat (ditto for someone pregnant/on crutches/otherwise unable to stand for long)

But if you mean a 15 year old should give up their seat for someone of 40 then, no, I disagree.

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bobajob · 01/06/2015 17:37

Depends. If I've paid for a seat for my children I expect them to be able to sit in it.

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PHANTOMnamechanger · 01/06/2015 17:38

some children are just not taught manners in any form at all, from basic please and thank you, to waiting your turn, respecting others and their property, not dropping litter etc etc. They are led to believe they are mini princes and princesses by their doting parents who think they can do no wrong, and woe betide the teacher or random stranger who DARES to correct them or suggest different behaviour!


that said there is no "one rule fits all" regarding seats on transport - depending on the age/height of the child it may well be safer for them to sit, because they are unable to reach the hand rail. If we are talking able bodied teens/tweens then yes I would agree it is polite for them to offer the seat to an adult, regardless of the adults age or gender, but especially if they are pregnant, juggling toddler/baby, or infirm.

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WhetherOrNot · 01/06/2015 17:39

If I've paid for a seat for my children I expect them to be able to sit in it.

I think you will find that a train ticket does NOT entitle you or your children to a seat - just getting you from A to B.

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DrankSangriaInThePark · 01/06/2015 17:40

Depends how old both the kids and the adults are.
Under 5s and possibly as far as under 8s need to sit. AbleWink bodied people under 60 probably don't.
A great lummocking 16yr old and a frail 85 yr old- no contest. But it's rarely that clear cut.
I was Shock on another thread that a poster's husband didn't get up to let 'an elderly lady' sit down. And that the Mner thought it was the old lady being rude...
Dd is 11 and I would now expect her to let an old person sit down, but not a 30 yr old bloke for example.

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theroundball · 01/06/2015 17:41

YANBU but you'd be amazed at the number of people on MN who'll tell you that you are.

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DrankSangriaInThePark · 01/06/2015 17:41

Sorry, random wink inserted there. Bloody phone.

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bobajob · 01/06/2015 17:41

I always book seats Whether.

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Sirzy · 01/06/2015 17:42

I would always stand and let DS sit, he doesn't cope well with standing on public transport.

I would also always give up my seat for someone who looked to be struggling irrespective of age

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pointythings · 01/06/2015 17:42

Here we go again...

It depends. If you're able bodied and otherwise fit then no, I don't think age should be the deciding factor. Of course it is polite to stand for people who clearly need the seat, but an able bodied 50-year-old should be able to cope with standing and is not automatically entitled to a seat ahead of a child or teenager. (I'm 47)

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DrankSangriaInThePark · 01/06/2015 17:43

Totally agree with Phantom's first paragraph too. But I bet bobajob doesn't. Wink

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WhetherOrNot · 01/06/2015 17:43

During half-term, a crowd of children rushed onto the train and grabbed seats that older people were aiming for

So this doesn't actually apply to you bobajob, does it?

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Mrsjayy · 01/06/2015 17:45

According to some on mumsnet it is deadly to let children stand they might go crashing through the window orsomething a healthy person over 10 should have the manners to offer somebody less able a seat on the bus. You dont actually pay for aseat on public transport you pay for the journey,

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WorraLiberty · 01/06/2015 17:46

It seems to be frowned upon on Mumsnet

Thankfully in my real life, I see parents making their kids give up their seats for adults quite a lot.

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Lisalou1 · 01/06/2015 17:46

This has nothing to do with manners, my kids have been taught taught manners and the importance of respect but I've paid good money for them a seat on a train or a bus then there is no way I'd make them give it up for someone else, sorry.

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Jobless123 · 01/06/2015 17:47

Some 'older' people get offended at the implication that they are too old to stand up.

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Mrsjayy · 01/06/2015 17:47

You cant really book a seat onthe number 11 to town Grin

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