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DS and birthday

(8 Posts)
NoodleFace Mon 01-Jun-15 13:34:39

I am pregnant and fully aware I Abu but just needed some other people's views.

My DS 3rd birthday at the weekend, he is going to a party in the AM with children then afternoon we have invited family round.

My family has shrunk over the last year so just be my mum/dad and brother who all live very local.

Mil and family live 50 miles away, train journery, one change - possible 1hr, nobody on that side drives. Mil suggested we go on day before His birthday and she can do a party for him, invite my parents. So basically not have a party on his actual birthday but do it at her house the day before.

AIBU to not want to go before his actual birthday as he wont understand when she is giving him presents and me and his dad haven't.
Also driving takes the same time as train although I do understand its not as easy.

I do know children have mid-week birthdays then have parties at another time, but I feel this is different as it can be on his actual birthday.

HighwayDragon Mon 01-Jun-15 13:38:01


Is there an underlying reason why you don't want mil to do this, because honestly it's a completely normal suggestion.

Purplepoodle Mon 01-Jun-15 13:38:51

We so this all the time as it's a bit much doing it all in one day. Will often have separate family party/present opening

oddfodd Mon 01-Jun-15 13:40:47

Just say 'That's a lovely idea but we've organised tea at our house on the day. We'd love it if you could come but understand if it's too much of a faff.'

Go and visit them another time if they can't be arsed to make the journey. It's not your fault that none of them can drive. An hour's train journey is hardly onerous

youngestisapyscho Mon 01-Jun-15 13:44:27

YABU. Your child will not be confused by being given presents the day before his birthday.... you can still do something special on the actual day and give him your own presents. He will find it fun.

NoodleFace Mon 01-Jun-15 13:45:22

Thanks guys!

With my parents drawing the line is easy, IL's not so much as I am always just the awkward one.

I do understand it makes sense for her to do it but it's effort for us as his actual birthday will be a busy-ish day so early night the day before would be ideal not quite going to happen if we travel up there.

Hoppinggreen Mon 01-Jun-15 14:11:17

So instead of making the effort to come to his actual party she wants you all ( including your parents) to travel to her house and have the party there instead?
It would be a no from me, although I might offer to visit the weekend after so they can give him his presents and see you all.
You have arranged a party, no need to change it because they don't want to travel to you for it.

WanderingAboutRandomly Mon 01-Jun-15 14:24:25

There is nothing wrong with the suggestion and I'm sure your DS won't care or mind. Your son might actually find it really special and might your DH like it?

However, you can choose to do what you want. There is nothing wrong with declining the offer.

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