to make 'stuff'

[Tinklewinkle]

I had a bit of a...I wouldn't call it an argument really...with a friend last night. I know I shouldn't let it upset me, or pay it any attention, but I've been stewing on it a bit and I am quite upset about it.

I've been hunting for a rug for DD's bedroom, but we couldn't really find anything that DD liked, was the size we wanted and wasn't silly £££.

I like craft (sewing, knitting, crochet, etc) and find sitting still in front of the TV quite hard so need something to fiddle with and usually knit or crochet. I've just made some granny square blankets and am over knitting at the moment, so I thought I'd have a go at making a rag rug. It's the ultimate in mindless craft, I can do a bit each evening with one eye on Eastenders and not have to concentrate on it too much.

Anyway, friends were over last night, their kids play with ours, we get a takeaway and usually have a nice evening. Friend came in and clocked the half done rug folded up over the arm of the sofa.

She asked what I was making now, with a bit of eye rolling, said I was having a go at making a rag rug, she was a bit "oh, FFS " I just laughed it off, and said "oh, you know what I'm like" and left it at that

A bit later she bought the subject of the rug up again and had a huge go at me about it. "Why can't I just buy a rug like normal people?", that I'm making my kids a laughing stock with all the handmade stuff "what's wrong with Disney Princess/Frozen/whatever stuff", why do I always have to be different and that it's intensely irritating that I'm so arty farty about everything

I said that I enjoyed making stuff and the kids had never complained about anything I'd made them (I don't make clothes, I'm rubbish at dress making, but I like messing about with stuff like bunting and cushions and house-y guff)

Initially, I was a bit "fuck off and mind your own business" but like I say, I've been stewing a bit and am a bit upset by it. It feels like a huge criticism of me if that makes sense. And, the kids/laughing stock comment has cut a bit.

[ItsTricky]

She's probably just jealous of your talents! I think it's lovely that you make things for your children. I wish I had the talent and motivation that you do.

Ignore her.. in fact, make her something nice for Christmas

[Shockers]

I would keep your initial thought in your head and carry on doing what you're doing.

[MagpieCursedTea]

What an odd reaction from your friend! I don't think I'd like having a friend like that. Perhaps she's jealous of your crafty skills?
YANBU though, she's clearly in the wrong. Is she always so mean and rude?

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I'd have had to ask her what she meant by the 'laughing stock' comment, that would have really pissed me off.

You sound talented, I wouldn't have a clue where to start, I'm not creative at all! , ignore the stroppy whining from your mate.

[FenellaFellorick]

How on earth does it affect her one way or the other? Baffles me when people get het up about trivial stuff that has no impact on their life at all. Oh no you do not do things differently to me how dare you...

I'd say there's clearly something up with her. For her to express her opinion in such an aggressive way, more than once, over something that has zero impact on her life, I'd hazard a guess she's jealous of your creativity, or maybe her children have said how great your stuff is and she's being stupid or maybe she's just one of those unbelievably dull people who believes that everyone must do things their way or they're wrong!

Who knows. And who cares, frankly. Just tell her she is rude and you are bored of hearing her go on about it and to pack it in.

[Icimoi]

I would really want to ask her why something you choose to do in your own time for your own pleasure bothers her so much. If she has any hobbies, point out that you don't feel it necessary to criticise her for them.

But I agree, it sounds very much as if what you do makes her feel inadequate. Ignore her.

[lljkk]

See I have this problem with DH because he says he'll make it & then I have to wait & if it does get made, it isn't something I've chosen to my taste, etc. But you making stuff for your house, indeed why should she object. Maybe she just thinks you're dull & not materialistic enough?

[Monstersinthegarden]

Totally out of line! Would be demanding an apology for that.

[Scoopmuckdizzy]

How dare she judge you! I wouldn't even be justifying yourself- if you want to make stuff then that's your business and nothing to do with her. I make a lot of stuff too and, like you it gives me something to do in the evening and I feel I'm being productive! My DC are still very young but they love the blankets and toys I've made for them and I've only ever had positive comments on very homemade home.

[Tinklewinkle]

Thanks!

I don't really why I feel so upset by it. I usually have the hide of a rhino, but it hurt. A lot.

She's not jealous I don't think. We have very different tastes and she'd hate all the twiddly stuff anyway.

I know she thinks I'm really tight. One of my neighbours chucked out a battered old ottoman, so I nicked it out of their skip, painted it, recovered the seat and turned it into a window seat. Cost me about £10 all in and I love it. She thought it was tight that I just didn't buy a new one.

I'm not the most talented person in the world, but I can turn out something reasonable and I enjoy it.

I don't bang on about it or anything either. She asked me.

[TruJay]

I'd say it's jealousy. I'm very crafty myself and love to make stuff. It's not hurting her so why should it upset her so much?
Yanbu to be hurt at all, I'd have told her to sod off there and then and saying that about your children was bloody mean. How can making a rag rug for your daughtet's room make her a laughing stock? Strange woman. I bet your house is ace, I've made loads in our house, it all comes down to matter of taste in my opinion. She's entitled to not like your stuff but not to say such hurtful comments to a friend.

[SocksRock]

I'm similar. I go into the kids school one afternoon a week to teach sewing, and also run an after school club. Both classes v popular, kids love making stuff and my DD1 is the envy of her friends as she can knit, crochet and has free access to my sewing machine :-)

Ignore her, she's just jealous. Rag rug sounds fab.

[pookamoo]

I am like you, OP. My kids have loads of home made stuff. It would have hurt me, too.

I think maybe she is not as good a friend as you think .

On a tangent, I would love to see your rag rug and your ottoman!

[Sizzlesthedog]

Jealous of your skills. Who wants a Disney mass produced tat.

I'd rather have a hand made made with love any day.

So tell me how you are making the rag rug, is it easy?

[AutumnDragon]

Now I'm Jealous! I'd love to be able to get hold of an ottoman foc. I bet it looks lovely.

[OwlsAreGrumpyBastards]

OP, you were very restrained! Please give me her name and address so I can pop round and sneer at all her mass-produced over-priced merchandise tat.

(But I'm probably a bit biased, being a knitter/crocheter/craft blogger/craft writer.)

Carry on creating a beautiful handmade home and pass your skills on to your DC asap.

[iHAVEtogetoutofhere]

I expect she is a bit jealous of your creativity.

Has she not been around these last few years when 'upcycling' has been so popular and folks like Kirsty have made whole TV series out of it?

The 'laughing stock' comment was quite nasty though

Do post some pics of your handiwork and we can all applaud you (and you can show your 'friend' this thread! )

[Pilgit]

She's being unreasonable. Now I'm off to Google how to m a key a rag rug as I have lots of material hanging around the house..... I make lots of stuff. My girls love it

[Tinklewinkle]

Thanks!

It knocked me a bit. Like I'm inflicting all this shit on my kids. I don't know, it just hurt, and no one want their kids to be a laughing stock.

I really don't think she's jealous. Our tastes are really different and she doesn't like cushion-y type stuff. I think she thinks it's pointless.

She was surprisingly aggressive. It was almost like she's been humouring me for years but has finally lost patience. It's none of her bloody business though.

Yes, rag rugs are dead easy to make. I've got a couple of metres of hessian for the backing, latch hook which was a couple of quid on Amazon, a cutting gauge which was about £5 and miles of sheeting material (which I already had kicking about in the loft, but it's fairly cheap). I want mine a certain colour to go with DD's room, but you can use anything really, just cut it into strips. this site was quite helpful

[sebsmummy1]

She doesn't sound a very good friend I'm afraid. Good friends celebrate one another's talents and are meant to make you feel good, not criticise each other.

[PenguinBollards]

YANBU

Next time she comes round, after you open the door, have her wipe her feet on a hand-made rag rug that says 'Fuck off, you rude opinionated harpy'

[SurlyCue]

What a strange attitude on her part! Why does everyone have to buy stuff new in a packet? just because she does? Its really odd she has taken offence to you doing something that doesn't affect her in any way, shape or form. I find knitting/sewing/crafting quite relaxing, in the same way i find reading, doing maths problems, and cleaning relaxing. What business is it of hers what you do with your spare time?

[Tinklewinkle]

For those who asked,

I've got this latch hook

and this cutting gauge

Cut 1 inch strips from your fabric, and wind round the gauge, then cut along the groove and you end up with loads of the little strips all around the same size.

I thread the latch hook through a few strands of the hessian, put the fabric strip in the hook and pull it out, which takes the fabric strip through. Repeat about a million times

this tool for pulling the strips through is good too, but quite a bit more expensive

[SurlyCue]

Fwiw if you were my friend i'd be pestering you to show my how to do it

[Tinklewinkle]

Sorry, x-posted.

at the fuck off rag rug. I thought about making her some fuck off bunting for Christmas.

Thanks all I feel much better about it now.