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#bpressure - seriously?!!

(115 Posts)
cantbelieveimonhere Fri 29-May-15 15:08:00

Don't understand where this campaign is coming from. My experience is total opposite. Am a breastfeeding mum and regularly feel looked down on/judged for it, and
stared at when feeding (discreetly)
don't think breast feeding is socially
accepted in the UK; it is bottle
feeding mums who are considered
normal (and bottle feeding in general
considered less embaressing etc)

raffle Fri 29-May-15 15:10:10

What campaign?
Do I need to be on twitter to see?

MrsNextDoor Fri 29-May-15 15:13:08

Well as someone who bottle fed both babies, I can tell you that it gets wearing...constant pressure that BF is best. We all KNOW that now. I chose to bottle feed as I was sexually abused and my breasts are extrodinarily nobody can touch them at all...I don't need breast is best shoved at me thanks.

EponasWildDaughter Fri 29-May-15 15:19:43

I'd need to see the campaign to give an opinion.

I think there is pressure on mothers to do 'whats best' and 'what's natural'.

PattiODoors Fri 29-May-15 15:22:27

Well I have googled #bpressure and not got v far.

A search on twitter is a mix of medical stuff, yes bf and some welding too.

cantbelieveimonhere Fri 29-May-15 15:23:23

seems to be twitter and youtube

PattiODoors Fri 29-May-15 15:24:02

MrsNB I am so sorry to hear you were abused. <hug>

I can see the perspective and understand it totally.

I'm not saying it is any worse than the stigma attached to breastfeeding, or possibly even comes close, as I've not experienced that either.

But there are a number of pressure that are placed on women these days around parenting and pregnancy - so many people appear to have expectations, and there is a lot of intense scrutiny about certain aspects by media and others.

I mean, some mums have felt stigmatised by having to have a cesarian FGS! From some NCT groups refusing to discuss the notion, to being labelled by others as 'too posh to push'.

While you may feel that bottle feeding is moer socially accepted - i felt under enormous pressure both before and after birth by the way in which the medical professionals approached the subject of breast-feeding, and the issues I had post birth due to my sons severe tongue tie which they refused to address. I felt incredibly unsupported and judged when trying to seek support in resolving the feeding issues. As a result I had a lot of guilt around it, about not being able to do something that was 'so natural' etc. Especially as so many moms at baby groups etc were breastfeeding.

I'm not saying it compares to your experience at all. But it's still an experience of stress, guilt, non-comfority, feelings of failure.

MrsNextDoor Fri 29-May-15 15:27:39

As a bottle feeding Mother I find it enrages me..when women say to me "Oh I am proud that I breastfeed."

I couldn't say "I'm proud that I bottle feed" could I?

There shouldn't be pride in either method. It's just nutrition. You do one or the other as you choose.

Be proud you cooked a beautiful proud your child is polite..but proud of breastfeeding suggests that you view bottle feeders as less than you.

Lorgy Fri 29-May-15 15:29:37

I fed mine expressed milk and got my fair share of dirty looks from breastfeeders when a bottle appeared. It also didn't help that the only group locally for new mums was a breastfeeding cafe. All helps put more pressure on women who bottle feed for whatever reason.

EponasWildDaughter Fri 29-May-15 15:31:26

I bottle fed DC1, breast fed DC2 and 3 with no problem for 6 months each, but had awful problems breast feeding no.4.

The pressure i felt to continue on and on trying to breast feed her resulted in a huge amount of stress and upset and then actual weight loss at 4 months in a baby who was already on the small side and could not afford to lose weight.

The day i switched to bottle i cried and cried ... and she fed and fed and then slept more contentedly than she had ever done! The next day and from then on the relief i felt at getting her fed overrode all the guilt i felt about abandoning breast feeding, and we never looked back.

It's left me cautious about too much of this ''best for you best for baby'' stuff turning into unnecessary pressure.

WoonerismSpit Fri 29-May-15 15:39:17

I don't know...I just think that women get shit whichever they choose. FFing friends have said that it is HCPs who tend to take a dim view of the bottle, whereas any negativity I have encountered has been from the public. People just like to make mums feel guilty!

I do dislike the view that some hold, that being proud, or passionate about breastfeeding means you are out to make others feel bad about their feeding choices. I AM proud of breastfeeding, but I don't give a hoot how others choose to feed.

WoonerismSpit Fri 29-May-15 15:40:57

Why can't I be proud mrs? It was bloody hard work. I'm proud I did it, and continue to do so. I make no apologies for that.

TarkaTheOtter Fri 29-May-15 15:42:35

I think people are proud of breastfeeding because they found it hard, not because they think they are better than mums who ff?
Aren't most babies ff? Especially after the first few weeks?

PattiODoors Fri 29-May-15 15:44:08

Wooner could you not have just said that last post to yourself.

Justusemyname Fri 29-May-15 15:46:28

It's from This Morning and I think it's more likely to be #bressure, as they were talking about selfies while feeding, brelfieshmm.

Feminine Fri 29-May-15 15:46:46

Mothers are proud of breast feeding because it is exceptionally draining and painful to start with.
In no way, are they superior to those who choose to use formula.
Like any challenging experience l suppose.

cantbelieveimonhere Fri 29-May-15 15:47:04

it would help if I could's #bressure................ruddy baby brain!......................don't see a way to edit the title

WoonerismSpit Fri 29-May-15 15:49:43

Why patti?

Being proud of breastfeeding doesn't mean I view formula feeding as 'lesser'. I don't care how other people feed their children. I'm proud of my own achievements.

cantbelieveimonhere Fri 29-May-15 15:52:59

Am not intending to shove "breast is best" at anyone. Am just wanting to challenge the notion that the whole world is running round breast-feeding in a proud, holier-than-thou way. That is the impression made by this campaign, and that is simply not my experience. I've found a lot of stigma attached to breast feeding (an already difficult and challenging task, especially with a first baby where both baby and mum are learning something new). I just wanted to question that surely I'm not the only person to experience this?

PattiODoors Fri 29-May-15 15:53:42

Because MrsNB posted about her life. It would have been kind imo to leave your post in your fingertips. But hey ho.

WoonerismSpit Fri 29-May-15 15:57:10

I was responding to a separate post, saying women shouldn't be proud to breastfeed. I was explaining why I do.

Indeed, hey ho. Luckily it's up to me what I post, isn't it?

Feminine Fri 29-May-15 15:58:02

patti Maybe spit didn't see her post?

WoonerismSpit Fri 29-May-15 16:02:23

I did see her post. What happened to her is horrific, and HCP trying to push breast is best at somebody in her position is awful. I was just addressing the point made that breastfeeders shouldn't feel proud. It was in a separate post, so I responded to it as a separate issue.

Lorgy Fri 29-May-15 16:03:32

I was going to reply to you WoonerismSpit then I saw you had used the phrase indeed hey ho and realised you are just going to be an unbearable smug mum no matter what anybody says.

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