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AIBU?

To be concerned about dd's size

36 replies

notnow2 · 28/05/2015 04:55

She is 3.7 and 108cm and 18.5kg. She is huge compared to her peers and it worries me for several reasons. Firstly that she is old for her school year and doesn't start school until 2016 so will be very tall compared to others in her class. She still has tantrums and hissy fits and people stare and sometimes comment to her that she is a big girl and not to cry. That she will be a giant as an adult. We are a tallish family I'm 5ft 6 and DH 6ft 4 so I suppose it is to be expected really but it does sometimes make me feel sorry for her. First world problem I know.

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MidnightDinosaur · 28/05/2015 05:21

She sounds like my ds1.

It did worry me a bit at the time, when he was younger people were always making comments about his behaviour thinking he was a lot older. There was a huge difference in the height of him and his friends at nursery, clothes were a nightmare. Trying to find something long enough for his length but small enough for his skinny waist.

He's 6 now and I can safely say that in the last 12 months, his growth has slowed right down while all his friends are now shooting up quickly. He's still slightly taller than them but it's not noticeable so much anymore.

His predicted adult height is 6ft 2 so not giant by any means.

Hopefully she'll start slowing down soon and by the time she starts school, they'll be little difference in height.

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nutelladipper · 28/05/2015 05:40

What do consider a giant?
I'm 6ft and I've had a great life ShockShock!
She'll be fine, at the end of the day there isn't a lot we can do about height. Fair enough if she was wide as she is tall we could have a problem but height on her own is out of our hands.

My 4 year old is 118cm but with me as his mum and a 6ft 6 dad it was inevitable really.

Try not to worry. Certainly don't worry about what people think of her tantrums. Sod them.

X

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ChestyNut · 28/05/2015 07:11

I was always told I was too tall and heavy as a child.
Head and shoulders above peers.
I remember school nurses measuring my height and making an issue of it Sad

I'm a 5ft 7 adult (overweight still granted) think I just reached my full height early.

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MerynFuckingTrant · 28/05/2015 07:16

She is very tall for her age but you and your DH are both above average height so she isn't going to be short or average.
Ds1 is in reception (just turned 5) he's 112cm, there are several children taller than him. I don't think she's worryingly tall.
My three year old is only 92cm, he's tiny but so am I. I don't worry that he's too small.

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ILiveOnABuildsite · 28/05/2015 07:23

I was always much taller than my peer through primary school, always at the very back of the school photos. And I remember being given at along part as one of the little pigs in "the three little pigs" in reception but being too tall for the costumes so they had to give the part to someone else. I ended up as the narrator as you don't need a costume for that.

Anyway despite this I reached my full height at around 10 and I haven't grown at all since. I'm 5ft3, everyone thought i was going to be really tall!

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Unescorted · 28/05/2015 07:30

I was the other way round - really small all the way through school. I finally stopped growing when I was 20 at 5ft8.

My kids dd looks as if she will be the same - like puppies we grow into our feet.

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youmakemydreams · 28/05/2015 07:32

Dd was the same and one of the youngest in her year group too. She is around 5'6" now and is 12 in October I was exactly the same and settled at 5'9 at about 13 and her dad is 6'4 and paternal granny 5'11 so odds on she was going to be tall too.
Tbh when she started school it wasn't as obvious as there was a mix from the very petite to others that were quite tall. Growing did settle for a few years as well and she didn't really start shooting up again until she was about 9 and has grown a whole head height in the last 2 years. It is becoming less noticeable now as a lot of her class are catching up although she is still the tallest but not by a huge margin. Tbh clothes have been my biggest problem. She went through a stage recently of being too tall to find teenage child sizes for as a lot of shops just don't sell them but with a child's figure so small ladies clothes didn't fit either. Now he shape has changed and she has startes stealing my shoes. She does like being tall though and is rather proud of being the tallest in class and is a lot taller than several of my friends.

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Redhead11 · 28/05/2015 07:33

DD2 did a year's worth of growing in 3 weeks when she was just over a year old. She is now 5' 10 1/2" and has reached that height at about age 14. She was always significantly taller than her peers and loved it! The boys in her year didn't catch her up until the last years at school, but she wasn't bothered by that and will wear heels as well. I always tried to stop people saying 'aren't you a big girl' after the age of about 4 or 5 and substituted it with 'aren't you lovely and tall'. She is proud of her height and i hope your DD is the same. Having a tall daughter is not a problem. DD1 is teeny by comparison.

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notnow2 · 28/05/2015 08:01

Thanks. I think it is a more upsetting at the moment as she looks 5 but is very much still 3!!!! Maybe when she is say 6 it won't matter too much if people think she is 8 because behaviour difference is not so big!

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BlackbirdOnTheWire · 28/05/2015 08:08

I know plenty of 6 year olds still having tantrums and hissy fits Grin.

If people comment that she's a big girl, you could try saying "oh, I think 3 is still quite young” or "yes, she is tall for 3 - so people tend to expect too much from her". Anything to put them back in their box...

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Kundry · 28/05/2015 08:09

Is she just tall or is she overweight as well?

I say this because my parents are exactly the same heights as hers and as a child I was tall, and a bit chubby, and it was always put down to me going to be tall like my dad.

In reality I was overheight and over weight, stopped growing at 5ft 6 and age 10 and was immediately well on the way to obesity.

If she's proper skinny please ignore but being tall for her age can indicate a weight problem.

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notnow2 · 28/05/2015 08:12

I don't think she is overweight - i think her bmi is in healthy range although granted she is no skinny Minnie

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bikeandrun · 28/05/2015 08:14

From your figures her bmi is normal

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ohtheholidays · 28/05/2015 08:29

Our children are all the same,DD7 and autistic is nearing 5 ft already,no one gets a chance to make a comment any more if she's having a meltdown,anyone that stares and goes to make a comment I inform them straight away that she's autistic and registered disabled that always stops them in they're tracks.She has enough health problems bless her without anyone else chiming in.

I always got it with my first DC,DS and I was only 20 when I had him he was into 3-4 years clothes before he was 18 months,people would always ask me why he wasn't at school,had a few morons have ago at me about him not being at school and he wasn't even 2.

All 5 of our children are tall for they're age and all in adult(much larger size)shoes.Our oldest just turned 19,he's 6ft 1 and still growing and is now in a size 11 shoe.It's never affected any of our children being taller than the average as they've got older.

They're all really well liked and have lots of friends,people have always commented how gentle they are with smaller children(age wise and size wise)Nanny and Grandads gentle giants,which the 5DC all love.

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Mumbehavingbadly · 28/05/2015 08:30

I've got two dd who started school as very tall and therefore bigger than their peers. Dd2 in particular at primary school was almost twice as tall as her best friend ( no exaggeration the tallest and tiniest obviously paired up as inseparable ). The school even sent one of those 'child weighs more than appropriate for age' letter referring us to social services we were just Hmm as dd2 was at that time under medical supervision due to allergies, only able to keep down prescription liquid diet and considered underweight for height.

By 16 and at 5'8 she was bemoaning her lack of inches. She stopped growing others caught up. Dd1 is 5'11 but wears her high heels pushing her to 6'2 or 6'3 on a night out in order to look even more gorgeous.

Don't let you dd slouch or get round shoulders - help her be tall and proud.

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TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 28/05/2015 08:31

We have this with DD. She is 3.1, 18 kg & 101 cm at present. She's more or less been on those centiles since birth. People do judge a lot as they assume she's about 5 - she wears 4-5 clothes & has always had lots of thick hair, is very confident (knows her own mind / wilful). I've had to develop a thick skin & have a few quick retorts on standby for various situations.

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yogeek · 28/05/2015 08:32

There was a tall woman on the radio yesterday (she was in West Wing)..saying that ballet and dance classes really helped her to feel comfortable with her height. It is always a shame to see beautiful tall girls bending down to try and melt in to the crowd isn't it?

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Smokeyrobinson · 28/05/2015 08:50

My DD was very tall for her age from being a toddler. At school she was always the tallest in the class and really slim - finding size 6 jeans with extra long length legs was a nightmare.

I can still remember being terribly upset when the health visitor told me very sniffily, and as if we had done it deliberately, that toddler DD was so tall for her age that she didn't fit the standard measurement chart!!!!

Suddenly at around 14-15 she stopped growing and filled out, whilst many of her peers outgrew her.

DD is 25 now and 5' 10" with a size 10 model-like figure with long, long legs!!

Please try not to worry OP our darling DC's come in all shapes and sizes.

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dixiechick1975 · 28/05/2015 08:59

It is seen as more acceptable to comment on tall than short by people. The 3/4 age throws up lots of supermarket cashiers saying why isn't she at school. My favourite was celebrating my dd's birthday at a pre school music class and another mother saying she can't only be x age?! Dd is 9 now and a head bigger than her class. She wears age 12 clothes. Clothes shopping can be interesting especially when the younger girls stuff stops age 6 or 7 so by 5 needing older girls range. Peoples Expectations are higher. I took her to optician in reception and he asked her to read the normal chart which she did phonetically. Optician had assumed she was 8. Oh and bus driver trying to charge her (my mum was outraged) I did carry a copy of her birth certificate in my handbag for a while. I just say all her family is tall - I'm the 5ft 8 shorty. It gets less of an issue as they get older.

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Songlark · 28/05/2015 09:43

My Dgd was very tall as a child, she towered over all her peers, boys and girls alike. But now she's 18 shes a nice 5ft 9 but wishes she was taller.
Like you I used to worry but often very tall children just grow to average size. Honestly it's not worth worrying about, she'll be absolutely fine.

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resipsa · 28/05/2015 11:06

Our DD is 4 (b'day in Jan) and 118cms so I know how you feel. Wears 7/8 clothes now with size 12/13 feet. Towers over 5/6 year old boys. We sell it as something positive to her although not sure she even notices! She is off the WHO chart for her age (as in, above 100th centile). Think the next generation will always be taller so not too worried but am anxious about getting primary uniform when she hits year 3!

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resipsa · 28/05/2015 11:11

PS Nutella, if you're reading, mine would love to meet yours as after too many Disney princess stories (nursery, not me!) she's on the lookout for a husband/prince. Your son sounds ideal!

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Frostycake · 28/05/2015 11:21

I was always told I was too tall as a child and I looked a lot older too.
I was literally head and shoulders above my classmates. At age 11 I was 5'5" and weighed 8.5 stone Shock but was very sporty.
I remember questions being asked about whether or not I was in the right class due to my size and academic achievement.

I'm a 5ft 6 1/2" adult (slightly overweight) but I think I just reached my full height early as I stopped growing at 13 when my periods started.
Parents were 5'7" and 5'9" so I'm smaller than them.

I realise now that a lot of my early growth was due to over-feeding. I had a protein pad on my thigh too.

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spiderlight · 28/05/2015 11:23

Smokeyrobinson Why do health visitors do that?! I remember mine measuring DS and saying 'He's crossed another line, you know...?' as if I stretched him on a rack every night!

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Frostycake · 28/05/2015 11:25

Please don't make her feel awkward about her height OP.

I see so many tall women who hunch their backs or stand and walk with bent legs to appear shorter. It's tragic.

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