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To wonder why the same issue can get totally different responses on different threads

(29 Posts)
balletnotlacrosse Wed 27-May-15 17:48:51

I've seen threads about an issue where the OP has been totally slated and flamed and is VVU.

A few weeks later another thread is started about the same issue and 90% of the posters agree with the OP and think she's NBU.

Is it dependent on how the first couple of posters respond, setting the tone?

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 27-May-15 17:49:59

Mumsnet is a big place.

Goldmandra Wed 27-May-15 17:50:27

I think it's partly about setting the tone and partly the random nature on MN. There are an awful lot of MNers so you're likely to get completely different people responding.

EatShitDerek Wed 27-May-15 17:50:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Wed 27-May-15 17:51:31

It just depends on who is around at the time and how they think.

There are millions of Mumsnetters so it will happen from time to time.

usualsuspect333 Wed 27-May-15 17:52:13

It does depend on the first couple of replies, but you don't have to go with the flow.

I've seen threads swing the other way if someone comes on and disagrees with the first few replies.

Sunny67 Wed 27-May-15 17:52:19

Different people have different views.

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 27-May-15 17:53:02

Yes I think the first few replies set the tone.

Must admit I've responded to OP's and a few posts later someone will come along with the completely opposite view and I'll think "oh yeah good point" and then totally change my view. I guess that makes me a bit flakey blush

textfan Wed 27-May-15 17:55:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

balletnotlacrosse Wed 27-May-15 17:55:28

I agree you're going to get different sets of posters responding.

I'm thinking though of threads where the OP has been rounded on, slapped across the face, told she is beyond unreasonable and basically sent slinking off in sackcloth and ashes. I would have thought an issue that aroused such strong, definite and fairly unanimous views would have garnered a fairly similar response from any random group of posters.

But obviously not. Just shows, you shouldn't take anything on AIBU too much to heart.

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 27-May-15 17:56:50

Yes OP's wording is also key. Anyone who uses the term hubby, bubs or mummy friends is kinda asking for a kicking really

PesoPenguin Wed 27-May-15 17:59:01

Yup, this happens a lot. I think it's partly based on the first few posts, partly on who the poster is (ie if a 'regular' whose user name people recognise) and partly the circumstances.

For example if you say, "Aibu, my dss/ dsd..." The response will be YABU and obviously hate you dss/dsd. If you write the same post but start it, "Aibu, my DS/dd..." You're more likely to get YANBU.

Also, some people just like to cry YABU for everything eg. " Aibu to not want people to park accross my drive?" "YABU".

"Aibu to park accross someone's drive?" "YABU".

(Obviously it's unreasonable to park accross someone's drive, but you get what I mean!)

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 27-May-15 17:59:25

I'm thinking though of threads where the OP has been rounded on, slapped across the face, told she is beyond unreasonable and basically sent slinking off in sackcloth and ashes.

Like I said, MN is a very big place. Obviously in that instance they'll be different posters with different views and it's possible that the posters who replied in the first thread were just deliberately being twats wink.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky Wed 27-May-15 18:00:09

What's wrong with "mummy friends"?

balletnotlacrosse Wed 27-May-15 18:01:36

It's toe curling Toads.

cuntycowfacemonkey Wed 27-May-15 18:01:42

I just find it icky. I probably wouldn't actually kick someone who said it though

BerylStreep Wed 27-May-15 18:03:24

I agree that the first few responses seem to set the tone. Then it can become a mob mentality. There are a few posters I have noticed on threads who just seem to be contrary no matter what the issue.

ElkTheory Wed 27-May-15 18:04:00

Different people have different opinions. But I agree that the first few posts often affect the subsequent posts. And then there is often a backlash somewhere in the middle. So one brave soul says, "Actually, I disagree with the PPs" and then others follow suit and the whole thread takes a completely different turn with everyone falling all over themselves to join the new majority.

AlpacaLypse Wed 27-May-15 18:05:17

Toads I think 'mummy friends' is perceived by some as being a bit twee. Although personally I think it's a good term to cover the group of other mothers you become fairly good friends with when you're all in it together with tinies, but whom you don't necessarily stay good friends with when your children become older.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Wed 27-May-15 18:05:17

Anyone who uses the term hubby, bubs or mummy friends is kinda asking for a kicking really

They are words that I wouldn't use myself but I hate the way people pile onto a poster just because of words they've used; 'OP, yabu using those words' nevermind what the actual issue is hmm, now that is toe curling.

AlpacaLypse Wed 27-May-15 18:08:09

YY SSCSD I hate that sort of thing, and it's an aspect of MN that's recently put me off. I'm definitely spending less time hanging out here.

balletnotlacrosse Wed 27-May-15 18:08:51

The reason I asked is because there's a thread at the moment debating the rights and wrongs of the owner being in situ when you're viewing a house. It's all very civil with a reasonable mix of YABU and YANBU but no flaming or anything.

I remember someone posting about the same thing a few months ago and she got massacred.

tomatodizzymum Wed 27-May-15 18:13:32

I have noticed a whole thread change direction following one poster, it's actually quite interesting. I think many are very influenced by the posters before.

Sheep grin

SumThucker Wed 27-May-15 18:14:02

Some arse licking. As said, if 'a name' has voiced their opinion, a lot seem to follow suit.
Pretty lame, really.

steppemum Wed 27-May-15 18:17:01

there are also times when I really disagree, but if the thread is strongly going one way I have to be in tough mood to come on and say I disagree with you all, because I will then need to stand my ground and defend my post, which is a pain.
So I think the balance people just walk away at times.

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