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(11 Posts)
Sisi13 Tue 26-May-15 21:18:08

I was adopted from birth. I never met my biological Mother, but I did meet all her family ( not siblings). Bio Mum actually denied having me hmm.

Bio Mum had 4 children and only managed to raise 1. By all accounts she was a terrible Mother and a nasty piece of work.

Bio Mum died a couple of years back and left everything to the child that she raised, obviously that sibling thinks she was a great Mum!

I have only had phone contact with the sibling a couple of times in my life, he called me a few nights ago. After a quick hello he said he wanted to give me some money and was bragging about his inheritance. I would never have asked him for a penny. I told him it would be a nice gesture and I was touched. However he's not mentioned it again.

Would I be unreasonable asking him about it? Its clear that he is lonely and doesn't seem to have any friends. His other siblings have fallen out over his inheritance. I don't blame them as it should have been split equally ( not myself)

RB68 Tue 26-May-15 21:31:27

Don't take the bait. He has fallen out with the others, he is looking to "make friends" and using the money to buy you, who knows he could string you along on a promise for years. I would just say no to the money and keep in touch if you want to.

Sconejamcream Tue 26-May-15 21:32:34

If he wanted to give you money he would. Sounds like there would be conditions and he will try and have a hold over you.

HereNotThere Tue 26-May-15 21:36:15

Were the other siblings adopted? If they were adopted then they do not have any rights to any inheritance unless they were mentioned in the will. You can get a copy of the will if need be.

I think you could ask your sibling about the money but I think it might end badly. If he is lonely perhaps it would be better to try an establish a relationship with him and never mention the money. It depends what is most important to you.

If he only told you about the money a few nights ago then I think you need to wait a bit before doing anything.

Sisi13 Tue 26-May-15 21:36:35

Thanks Scone and RB, that's what I think also, its just so difficult when he dangled the cash lol. A tiny part of me feels like I'm owed it, even though legally I'm not.

He seems very needy, I would have kept in touch without the offer of cash, it all seems a bit sordid now. I'm tempted to ignore him and continue with my life. I hope his cash keeps him warm at night wink

Aermingers Tue 26-May-15 21:36:41

I think RB68 has given you good advice. Assume nothing is coming and treat him as you normally would. If something comes, then that's nice. But if nothing comes of it you won't have cheapened yourself by treating someone differently because you thought there might be cash in it for you.

Who knows, he might genuinely feel bad that he's got left the money when the rest of you had already missed out once by not having a mother and a second time by not inheriting.

But yes, assume nothing is coming and carry on as normal.

RagstheInvincible Tue 26-May-15 21:37:43

Leave it. He has his own agenda on this and you will end up being used to his advantage and not yours.

Aermingers Tue 26-May-15 21:38:21

Possibly, if he is very needy, life with your bio Mum wasn't the bed of roses he's making it out to be? You might have had a lucky escape.

Sisi13 Tue 26-May-15 21:39:01

No Here, the other siblings were kinda farmed out with family and she also raised them for a while, like I said she was a dreadful Mum.

Yes he only very recently told me about the money.

yorkshapudding Tue 26-May-15 21:39:29

I would be wary of accepting money from someone who I had only spoken to a couple of times. If he has fallen out with the other siblings he may be offering you the money in a deliberate attempt to wind them up. It's also possible that he is a genuinely nice guy who wants to help you out. The point is you don't know him well enough to make that assessment. If he is genuine then he will be true to his word and contact you to make arrangements about the money. If you have to chase him then that suggests it wasn't a sincere offer.

Sisi13 Tue 26-May-15 21:40:24

Yes Aermingers, think you are right. I'm not sure if he was socially awkward before or living with a domineering Mum made him that way confused

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