AIBU to think that this man is lying to us?(133 Posts)
Just got back from holiday abroad, AI type hotel, quite small, very friendly.
There was an amusement arcade which the ds' liked to go to after dinner every night, so dh and I would give then 5 euros each to spend.
On the last night, we only had 5 euro notes, so sent the ds (12 (ASD) & 8) to reception to change into coins (we were sitting in the restaurant 20 feet away and could see them from our table)
5 mins passed and they hadn't returned, no probs, there was usually a queue. Then ds1 comes running back in without his money. We ask why and it transpires that the receptionist had no change so sent the two boys over the road to a nearby hotel to get some!!!!
They had got to the other hotel, got all flustered as it was unfamiliar and came running back. I was SEETHING that the receptionist had sent two children out across a busy main road unattended to basically do his job for him.
Dh goes to reception to try to ascertain what had gone on, and the receptionist assures him that he accompanied the boys to the hotel to get the money. However, after careful questioning to each child, they both (independently) insisted he didn't go with them, they went on their own.
So either he is lying to us, or my children are, which I really don't think as DS1 is incapable to lying due to his ASD and very black and white view of the world.
We didnt do anything more at the time, it was 10pm and we had to be up early to fly home, but since we got home I've been thinking about it and its really narked me, a) that he would send 2 kids out of the hotel without their parents permission, and b) that he may have lied to my dh that he went with them.
WWYD? Dh says to leave it now we are home, but I feel it at least needs raising with the hotel that sending children out of the hotel and over the road without their parents knowledge is not acceptable and dangerous?
It's not the staffs responsibility to look after your children, its yours. If I sent mine up to get change and they were told to go over the road, I'd expect them to comeback to me and ask me if they should go. I would be angry at the children if they left the hotel without my permission, and very angry if they left the hotel with a staff member.
I think youre looking at the wrong issue entirely.
Surely, your children should know to always check with you first, even if another adult tells them to do something?
At this stage I would be more inclined to speak to my children about going off with people they don't know. Plus did you not see them from your table ?
You said you could see them from your table??
Imo they are your children and the buck stops with you.
You know their limits and capabilities.
If this was my dd for instance I k ow for a fact she would have came back to the table and checked with me regardless of what someone else had told her.............
But why didn't they come back to you? I can understand your older son might have difficulties but your younger child is 8 - surely he's old enough to know he shouldn't cross a busy road on his own?
Speechless! Take some responsibility for your kids! You said you could see them from your table so why weren't you watching them?! Unbelievable!
At 12 and 8 I would expect the boys to come back and tell me they said to go over the road.
The receptionist may well be lying to safeguard his job BUT he could have assumed 2 kids on their own already could be alone getting change elsewhere. It's not his job to know what age you let your kids wander and how far.
YABU tell your kids the rules.
You said : we were sitting in the restaurant 20 feet away and could see them from our table
it is not the responsibility of the reception staff to parent your children. Perhaps you need to teach them that they do not do this kind of thing without checking with your first.
If you could see them from the restaurant, then how come you couldn't see when they disappeared from reception and went to cross the road ?
Firstly it's not the receptionist's job to parent your DCs, whilst you seem to imply that it is. The information he gave them was factually correct - he had no change, so therefore told him where the nearest place to get change was. Secondly based on their ages he probably thought they were ok to cross on their own as he did not know about the ASD.
I agree that it sounds like he is lying about crossing the road with him, that part is not ideal, but honestly the man is a receptionist not a blinkin child minder and I would expect your DCs to come back to the table and let you know if they were crossing the road.
Do the hotel guarantee that they'll provide change to anyone who asks?
I can't see that it was his job meself to go and get change. More likely he told them that he was out, and to try over the road in order to be helpful.
If you're not happy with your children leaving the hotel unaccompanied then you need to give them clear instructions not to do so, or be supervising them yourself if they're not capable of following those instructions.
And just in case my post wasn't clear, no it is not the hotel staff's responsibility, poor guy!! It is your responsibility to instill sense into your kids!
Given you could see the, from your table, how did you not notice that they had left the hotel and were not queueing at reception? [comfused]
I agree that it's your kids & your responsibility.
If neither of them would think to come straight back to you if reception couldn't help, then they shouldn't have been sent off without you.
Possibly the receptionist suggested that they could go to the other hotel?
I would be pissed off at the man on reception but as others have said I would sit my kids down and explain to them about stranger danger etc.
If you were 20 feet away, surely you saw them leaving, whether with a staff member (whose job isn't to supervise your children) or not?
If you could see them why didn't you see them leaving the hotel?
He's almost certainly underpaid and overworked. Are you really thinking of reporting him and getting him into trouble because he didn't leave his post to act as your personal nanny/banker?
Fair enough, some valid points made. We could see them from the table, but then a crowd of people arrived with cases arrived to check in so the view was obscured, I (wrongly) assumed they were at the front of the desk.
We are trying to give ds1 some independence by letting him do some things on his own, he's off to high school in Sept so trying to let the leash out a little bit IFYKWIM. They had gone and got change from reception before with no problems (sorry, I sound like I'm drip feeding now!)
I will certainly be having a chat about 'not doing things strangers tell you to do', although they knew the receptionist (he had made a great fuss of them all week) so maybe in their heads he wasn't a stranger?
Thanks for all the replies.
Sometimes children from foreign countries are given more responsibility and freedom than British children.
So it could very well be that this receptionist was only doing what was normal - ie sending them across the road for some change. It was no biggie in his/her eyes.
So I think it's very unfair to impose your views on childcare on this person.
Even if that wasn't the case, it is still your responsibility as a parent to ensure their safety - not the receptionists place to do so.
And yes, 70 euros, a combination of their birthday/pocket/holiday spends from relatives, they spent it on plastic tat and they loved it!
I would go apeshit at ds if he had left the hotel with a member of staff! Or on his own!
He is daft as a brush,but I think even he would know to run back and tell me what the receptionist had said
or feel my wrath
It's not just strangers though. My 6 year old knows not to go anywhere with anyone (even friends parents) without telling me first. I thought everyone drummed that into their kids.
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