To ask if you equate your partner masturbating to cheating?

(133 Posts)
Allisgood1 Sun 24-May-15 15:28:05

Just that really.
I had a friend who caught her dh masturbating to a porn. They went for counseling.
Another friend found out hers masturbated to Game of Thrones. She banned him from watching it and told him he's effectively cheating on her and this is grounds for divorce 
Am I missing something?

nikki1978 Sun 24-May-15 15:29:28

No that's ridiculous. Game of thrones though? Divorce is fair enough wink

SoonToBeSix Sun 24-May-15 15:30:18

It's not as bad as cheating no, however the circumstances you describe are wrong and yes counselling is appropriate.

HirplesWithHaggis Sun 24-May-15 15:31:05

Good grief. confused

BloodyUserName Sun 24-May-15 15:31:18

Eek I hope not, otherwise my fella would have divorced me years ago.

Tequilashotfor1 Sun 24-May-15 15:31:52

Oh yes LTB!!

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 24-May-15 15:32:20

Unless it was horrible porn, I don't think it warrants counselling. Certainly not cheating.

ImperialBlether Sun 24-May-15 15:32:24

I think the second friend has a screw loose.

The first one - I wouldn't like a partner watching porn, but not bothered about what he does to his own body, tbh.

There was a poster on here who used to think it was equivalent to infidelity - wonder if she'll show up here.

Fluffyears Sun 24-May-15 15:32:58

Well if I'm tired and he has balls like melons he can crack on and let me sleep!

imwithspud Sun 24-May-15 15:32:58

No, even though I'm not a huge fan of porn I don't think it's the same as cheating at all. Masturbating to GOT is a bit strange though haha.

Ladymoods Sun 24-May-15 15:33:22

Why are they wrong? And why on earth should someone need counselling just for tossing off to a TV show? I think it just shows how insecure some people are.

RagingJellyBean Sun 24-May-15 15:33:32

I'd like to pretend I'm one of these cool wives who don't care about their DH masturbating, and my DH does it rarely, but, if I walked in on it I'd be a bit hurt he didn't come to me first for sex.
Certainly isn't grounds for divorce though, that's a bit much.

Fluffyears Sun 24-May-15 15:33:48

Surely for men it's just about a 'release' sometimes?

ImperialBlether Sun 24-May-15 15:34:12

But counselling would only be appropriate if his behaviour was having an effect on the marriage, wouldn't it?

These two women sound like control freaks on the surface, though I'm sure their full story might not show this.

LovelyBranches Sun 24-May-15 15:35:12

I wouldn't think it was grounds for divorce if I was masturbating so the same applies to DH. That said, I hate porn and wouldn't really want DH to watch.

imwithspud Sun 24-May-15 15:36:17

I'd like to pretend I'm one of these cool wives who don't care about their DH masturbating, and my DH does it rarely, but, if I walked in on it I'd be a bit hurt he didn't come to me first for sex.

Same grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 24-May-15 15:37:41

Of course not, in the same way that I'm not cheating on Dh when I masturbate.

whitecandles Sun 24-May-15 15:39:29

Sometimes you just want the physical release without worrying about the other person, surely? Doesn't this apply to women too? Quite shocked it would be otherwise really, I'd be upset if it was affecting our sex life, but otherwise, I don't see a problem.

flashheartscanoe Sun 24-May-15 15:40:24

Um?? Why all this talk of men? I thought everyone masturbated? Its normal surely. I like to imagine...

Aermingers Sun 24-May-15 15:41:27

It's only cheating if it involves Paul Hollywood and baked goods.

flashheartscanoe Sun 24-May-15 15:41:59

cross post there- women do it too! Oh- and it wont send you blind.

MrsTattoo Sun 24-May-15 15:42:59

1st wife needs to get over it.
2nd wife needs the white coats to come and get her if she thinks thats cheating.

I can understand being a bit miffed that it was done when you are in the house and he could of made a move on you, but I will admit I've done it with hubby elsewhere in the house and I bet he has too, I take no offence to it, it's just a quick release, it doesn't mean you/DP is unloved and unwanted because of it.

I have no issues with porn at all. Me and DH both watch it, either together or alone. Infact I probably watch more than he does!

FixItUpChappie Sun 24-May-15 15:44:39

I'd like to think people have a right to touch themselves as the wish - If it wasn't illegal type porn or a porn addiction issue than I would consider it my partners own business.

imwithspud Sun 24-May-15 15:45:14

I think it's the porn that's the issue rather than the act of masturbating?

Crowquill Sun 24-May-15 15:46:24

shock

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