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to hate unannounced visitors?

(79 Posts)
CheerfulYank Sun 24-May-15 00:31:55

DS2 was born Monday. We brought him home Wednesday but he's been back at the hospital briefly every day to check his bilirubin. He's nursing constantly, as is to be expected. We also have DS1 (7) and DD (almost 2) who are adjusting.

I bruised my tailbone quite badly during the birth and am generally sore and exhausted and overwhelmed, which of course will pass.

This afternoon DH was giving the other two their lunch while I nursed the baby. My top was still up and I was putting him to sleep in the bouncer when there was a knock at the door. It was DH's two cousins who wanted to "stop by and see the new model".

They seemed shocked to see me in pajama bottoms and sort of surprised that I just sat there ( I was trying to hide my wiggly stomach sticking out of my far too tight T-shirt, complete with milk stains). My hair was a mess and I could have used a shower.

The house was similarly shocking. Not dirty, but lots of stuff piled around, DDs toys all over, etc.

AIBU to wonder why they didn't call? And to be irritated that they came by?

They are a bit lonely I think (single sisters in their fifties, they've lived together in the same house since they were teens) and don't have kids so don't have the exhausted newborn memories. smile I was polite of course and promised to bring the kids to see them when we're a little more adjusted but...arghhh!

Fatmomma99 Sun 24-May-15 00:34:18

I slightly think new babies are a magnet. People want to come, see, admirer congratulate.

I think it's normal, if inconvenient.


Fatmomma99 Sun 24-May-15 00:34:30

So, set some boundaries!

JoanHickson Sun 24-May-15 00:38:25

Don't answer the door in future.

CheerfulYank Sun 24-May-15 00:40:53

Joan there is a big glass window in the door so they could clearly see DH and DS standing there, unfortunately. And I was too surprised to get one of them to head them off.

Momma I know, and I wouldn't have minded if they'd called. Well, maybe I would have but I at least would have appreciated the heads up so I could have thrown on a different shirt grin

Charis1 Sun 24-May-15 00:41:46

I wouldn't have let them in.

traceybaybee Sun 24-May-15 00:45:20

Im telling visitors to give me a couple of days to settle in after i come home with my baby. Sister seems to think ill be grateful for a lot of visitors... emm nope the door will be locked until im ready for visitors lol

JoanHickson Sun 24-May-15 00:46:31

I was like you once. Now I don't care about being rude to rude people.

It is bad manners from them to turn up as they did so if it's a bad time don't open the door.

imwithspud Sun 24-May-15 00:46:42

YANBU, I hate unexpected visitors at the best of times, let alone when you've just given birth and are all over the place as a result. Yes it's exciting when a new baby arrives but It doesn't take much to call or text before hand to let you know/ask if it's okay to drop by, it's basic manners imo.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-May-15 00:56:06

Congratulations CheerfulYank!! flowers.


Ham69 Sun 24-May-15 00:59:00

YADNBU. Mine are 8 and 5 and sleep through the night but I still feel annoyed if someone dares knock without warning. I need time to throw clutter in boxes, pick up dirty underwear and flush the chain which my dcs seem incapable of doing!

CheerfulYank Sun 24-May-15 01:05:55

Thank you *Salmo. smile We are more tired than expected but completely head over heels for our little boy.

mrslol Sun 24-May-15 01:16:11

YANBU and even if you were, you are perfectly entitled to be a bit U at the moment!

Hopefully you'll get a bit of peace now to enjoy your lovely little one, congratulations!

TwinkieTwinkle Sun 24-May-15 01:24:37

I think I agree with your thread title.
However, I can understand people wanting to come and congratulate you and see the baby. I really don't think anyone was unreasonable. Just people doing things in different ways.

htf2 Sun 24-May-15 01:32:23

Of course people want to come and congratulate her for the baby... but to just turn up without calling a few days after baby is born? You don't have to have had children to know that it may not be the best time! I don't think it's normal at all to not call! and as for 'so, set some boundaries'... when they call like normal people is when you explain what would suit!!

olgaga Sun 24-May-15 01:46:13

I just think it's incredibly rude to call on someone unannounced, whatever the situation.

It's absolutely beyond the pale just days after a new baby comes home.

SycamoreMum Sun 24-May-15 01:52:04

YANBU. They could have called first but hey ho.

I didn't tell anyone I was home with the baby from hospital for a good month. I also didn't tell them I'd given birth until a month later either (premature PFBsmile.)

MrsTattoo Sun 24-May-15 02:33:30

Congrats on the new arrival!smile

It's just me and DH at home, no kids yet and I still hate people just stopping by - even my own mother knows to ring first!
I hate having people in my house to be honest and quite often ignore my doorbell unless I know it's only the postie. I dread the day everyone and their mother wants to come and meet a child at my house!

Strokethefurrywall Sun 24-May-15 02:58:30

Is it me or is anyone else totally picturing Selma and patty from the Simpsons?!
I hate unannounced visitors too but only because I have a dog that's terrified of the doorbell and sounds like he's going to rip the arse off anyone the other side of it so unannounced visitors piss me off as I have to stage his snarling arse into another room.
Not quite the same reason as you clearly. On the plus side if you get a big snarling dog, people are much less inclined to drop by unannounced... Little tip from me to you.

Strokethefurrywall Sun 24-May-15 03:00:33

Scuse, I've had a butt load of wine -advice congrats on baby boy #3 yank!!

Strokethefurrywall Sun 24-May-15 03:01:00

Massive not advice. Fuck it, I'm going to bed.

CheerfulYank Sun 24-May-15 03:08:39

Hahaha! Actually not far off grin They're very nice and they love DH dearly but they can be a bit...socially awkward from time to time.

HearTheThunderRoar Sun 24-May-15 03:14:17


YANBU. I don't really give a crap if people pop by unannounced now as DD is a teen as I don't a sleeping baby, toys lying all round the house etc but it is really rude just to turn up unannounced especially if your've just given birth and still trying to get into a routine.

How hard is it too pick up a phone and let them know your coming round?! normally send a text.

ollieplimsoles Sun 24-May-15 05:56:11

I don't like visitors coming around unannounced either, I work from home and my office is upstairs, i just don't hear knocks on my door while working, then I get a phone call from my mum saying 'so and so popped round but you didn't answer the door to them!' I was working- why not call first?! angry

We have set serious boundaries for when our baby arrives, not telling anyone I'm in labour, not telling them the baby is here til we are ready, and definitely no visitors till we say!

Nottalotta Sun 24-May-15 06:13:37

Yanbu. I don't like unexpected visitors at the best of times. Currently 30wks pregnant and will be locking the door, unplugging the bell and staying out of the front room !

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