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To be properly shocked at a 40 year old man equating a breastfeeding cafe with a topless bar?!

(33 Posts)
dependentspouse Sat 23-May-15 15:09:12

Or is this type of attitude actually common, and I have just been lucky enough not to encounter it before?

Man in question is my BIL, a lovely, university-educated, well-travelled, and liberal dad of 4 lovely kids (all bottle-fed grin), who expressed this view during a discussion about me breastfeeding DD2 who is 2 weeks old... oh, and then asked me to send him a 'topless selfie' from the cafe...

Aeroflotgirl Sat 23-May-15 15:14:40

My goodness what a knob. Its attitudes like this that do not promote bf.

Oldraver Sat 23-May-15 15:24:31

He's basically asked you for a picture of your breasts ? Has he always been a creep ?

Yes I have come across the attitude where men don't seem to be able to differentiate between breastfeeding and flashing ya tits for thrills

Feminine Sat 23-May-15 15:24:52

Well proves my point, that not all university attendee are educated

imwithspud Sat 23-May-15 15:27:56

Pure ignorance. Just goes to show that well educated people aren't always the most open minded.

iWantToBeAlone Sat 23-May-15 15:28:37

and then asked me to send him a 'topless selfie' from the cafe...


Sadly my pils and bil have similar views. I don't think any of them would ask for a picture though.

Stillwishihadabs Sat 23-May-15 15:30:06

Wow, the only person who wasn't keen on watching me breast feed was dsfil who was in his 70's. Never anyone of my own generation or my own family.

coconutpie Sat 23-May-15 15:32:49

Lovely? Your BIL is not lovely, nor is his education up to much - he's an ignorant, pervy, gobshite.

Sidalee7 Sat 23-May-15 15:34:30

I think men find it hard not to sexualise anything to do with breasts - very odd.

People who can't handle breast feeding in public need to get a life, I remember my mil suggesting I do it in the toilets. Erm, no.

WorraLiberty Sat 23-May-15 15:34:53

Surely it was a misguided 'joke'?

Or are you saying he was 100% serious?

mrstweefromtweesville Sat 23-May-15 15:41:13

Oh, dear. A bit immature, isn't he?

Totality22 Sat 23-May-15 16:26:41

What is a breastfeeding cafe?

Justusemyname Sat 23-May-15 16:30:55

What a dick. Does your husband know his brother is perving over his wife and does bil wife know? hmm

derxa Sat 23-May-15 16:31:32

Oh give up.

mrstweefromtweesville Sat 23-May-15 16:32:21

Thinking about it more seriously, he might feel a bit 'threatened' because your baby is receiving a different kind of parenting than his did and be trying to diminish what you're doing.

Andrewofgg Sat 23-May-15 17:23:49

He's an ignorant slob with a degree.

anothergenericname Sat 23-May-15 17:26:13

Well Baby Cafe is a brand name for a nationally run bf support group

SolasEile Sat 23-May-15 17:29:59

40 going on 14 by the sounds of it.

Does he have daughters? What will he do if they or his DILs decide to bf their children in future? Hopefully not perv over them...hmm

EvilTendency1 Sat 23-May-15 17:32:47

What a knob.

fatlazymummy Sat 23-May-15 17:35:25

Yes, what is a 'breastfeeding cafe'?
Some men do find breastfeeding sexual. It's actually quite a well known fetish.
I'm not sure if this applies to your BIL though, he may just have an immature sense of humour.

HagOtheNorth Sat 23-May-15 17:35:34

Years back, a friend of mine was breastfeeding in a park and two teenaged lads walked past. One had his eyes on stalks as he gawped at her.
Only to have his mate slap him on the back of the head so hard he nearly fell over, and then hiss
'Wotcha doin' you wanker? Them's feeding tits, not lookin' at tits' and then 'Sorry Miss' as he shoved his friend along.
She was shaking with giggles so hard that the feed was interrupted for several minutes.
Some people may have an education, but they aren't really educated. Tell him he's being an arse, then he'll know that his attitude and SOH needs adjustment.

specialsubject Sat 23-May-15 17:37:46

hag - awesome.

OP - is this man's wife aware of what he asked you to do?

Kampeki Sat 23-May-15 17:41:02

He asked you to send him a picture? Ugh! What a vile, seedy little man.

derxa Sat 23-May-15 18:39:39

hag I like the sound of that boy

DoJo Sat 23-May-15 18:39:51

The comparison wouldn't bother me as much as the request for a picture - that is completely inappropriate and I would be horrified if a relative of mine was asking me for pictures of my breasts in any circumstances, but particularly in this context.

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