To cancel swimming via of pooey pants?

(72 Posts)
JesusIsComingLookBusy Sat 23-May-15 12:48:32

DS1 is 6 and still having lots of toilet accidents. He wets himself about 4 or 5 times a week and wears pyjama nappies at night. Last few days though we've had some pooey pants too and today is particularly bad. He's on his third pair. I've reminded him to go a few times when it's obvious he needs to but he's ignored me. We are meant to be going swimming this afternoon but I'm cancelling it primarily in case he has a tummy bug (poo looks normal though) but also as I think he needs to realise he needs to be a bit more proactive. Am I being mean?

Gruntfuttock Sat 23-May-15 12:51:17

No you can't take him swimming if that's happening. I don't know what the 'via' means in the title tho', unless it's a typo.

mappemonde Sat 23-May-15 12:52:00

Don't punish for continence issues.

Take a look at ERIC and ask for a referral to your local bladder & bowel service via your school nurse.

It sounds like there's a possibility that he's constipated. Have you had him assessed at all? Increased his fluids during the day etc?

There are lots if ways of being proactive - negative associations won't work though.

mappemonde Sat 23-May-15 12:52:54

(Obviously I wouldn't take swimming from the infection pov but I'd make it clear it wasn't a punishment)

Chottie Sat 23-May-15 12:53:19

Please don't take him swimming, three pairs of pooey pants in a morning is a lot. It sounds like a tummy bug to me.

JesusIsComingLookBusy Sat 23-May-15 12:58:16

Ok feel better about not going swimming and will emphasise to him it's not a punishment. Now to tackle all the washing - I often ask him to help clean his pooey pants as I feel he should share this grisly task with me!

littlejohnnydory Sat 23-May-15 13:00:26

I absolutely wouldn't cancel swimming and I say that as someone whose ds had huge problems with bowel continence (still not perfect at almost 8 but at six he had daily accidents). The incontinence charity ERIC have a website, message board and helpline with excellent information and advice.

I would only postpone swimming if you genuinely think he has diarrhoea. It doesn't sound like he does. It sounds likely to me that he may have an issue with constipation and resulting overflow incontinence. If that is the case he will have no sensation of needing to go and that is why he ignores you - not to be deliberately naughty. Also, denial is a powerful thing psychologically and he nay not even acknowledge to himself that he has had an accident.

I would go swimming if he isn't ill then take him to GP / Child Development Clinic for advice, whilst contacting ERIC in the meantime.

littlejohnnydory Sat 23-May-15 13:05:18

Three pairs of pooey pants doesn't necessarily signify illness in a child with continence issues. If I'd cancelled swimming for my ds on that basis he would never have gone.

KoalaDownUnder Sat 23-May-15 13:07:17

I agree with you that he's unlikely to be doing it deliberately, littlejohnny, but still not a good idea to take him swimming if there's any chance he could do it in the pool!

sunbathe Sat 23-May-15 13:07:25

I used to spend ages cleaning pooey pants when the kids were small.

Then I decided to throw them out instead. My life improved! grin

BackforGood Sat 23-May-15 13:07:28

What littlejohnnydory said

JesusIsComingLookBusy Sat 23-May-15 13:09:07

Thanks I didn't think about constipation - I'm giving him lots of fruit / veg /water today and we will see how things are tomorrow. We have all half term to swim so we can go another day - no biggie.

arethereanyleftatall Sat 23-May-15 13:13:18

Don't go swimming. Not as a punishment, but you can't run the risk of him pooing in the pool.

3littlefrogs Sat 23-May-15 13:16:12

You need to study the ERIC website.
Your DS needs help with his continence issues.
It is not normal to be having these problems at 6 so you need to be proactive and help him.

Supersoft Sat 23-May-15 13:17:06

OP I'm presuming you have seen your gp / school nurse about this and have been seen / on a waiting list to see a specialist?

3littlefrogs Sat 23-May-15 13:22:16

Wetting and soiling are typical signs of impaction with overflow.
Poor child.
I hope you are getting him the correct medical help he needs.

JesusIsComingLookBusy Sat 23-May-15 13:23:11

We've been to the dr a few months ago but they weren't very interested tbh. Said he'd grow out of the wetting. The pooing happens less often so isn't really a regular problem. I'll have another look at ERIC site - I've ordered special pants from them before.

3littlefrogs Sat 23-May-15 13:25:46

Try a different GP and ask for a referral.
Some GPs are not very clued up about this particular issue.

umiaisha Sat 23-May-15 13:30:02

Have I misunderstood? You ask your 6 year old to wash out his own soiled underwear?? Sorry but I think that's wrong and very humiliating for him.

Supersoft Sat 23-May-15 13:32:44

You need to go back to your gp or contact your school nurse and ask for a referral. My Ds had similar issues, it was awful for both him and me. But with the help of medication he's now ok (and off the medication). You owe it to your ds to try and get this sorted for him.

JesusIsComingLookBusy Sat 23-May-15 13:33:23

Littlefrogs you are coming across as quite judgey tbh. You don't need to make me feel like a crap mum - I'm more than capable of doing that myself.grin You don't by think we are trying strategies - star charts / praise / padded pants???

bittapitta Sat 23-May-15 13:34:51

Throw away the pants and buy new ones, life's too short.

3littlefrogs Sat 23-May-15 13:42:05

Sorry OP.
It is just that this subject comes up so often on mumsnet and it is such an awful and distressing thing for a child to go through - it happened to my DD and I can't bear the thought of another child suffering like that.
I will leave the thread now.

Supersoft Sat 23-May-15 13:55:48

I really don't think 3littlefrogs was being judgemental or judgy op. I'm sure you have tried star charts, praise etc but the thing is its likely to a medical condition so it needs treatment from a specialist, most likely medication. It's not something that is going to go away, get better with age etc. no amount of star charts is going to fix this. please go back to your gp or your school nurse and demand a referral. The website ERIC is also very useful. I think 3littlefrogs, like myself, are just thinking how distressing this must be for your child and are encouraging you to do something proactive about it for his own benefit.

Marioswife Sat 23-May-15 14:01:10

Sounds medical more than behavioral. Like an impacted bowel.

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