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To think it's inevitable but still sad

(7 Posts)
wineoclockthanks Sat 23-May-15 08:53:19

Our neighbour had a party earlier this year to celebrate his 80th birthday. He was very active locally and although about 30 people came, there were some people who couldn't make it and I know he was a little disappointed that he couldn't celebrate with all his friends.

Sadly, he passed away this month and his funeral was held yesterday. It was lovely and there must have been 60 people there. Naturally the majority were advancing in years and many said how they didn't go out much but wanted to make an effort because they thought so much of G

I understand that coming to a funeral is a mark of respect but couldn't help thinking that G would much have preferred them to have come to a party he was there to enjoy (he has no family left btw).

RIP G - we will miss you

Just read his back and I really don't want it to read as being critical of his friends - hope it makes sense.

FarFromAnyRoad Sat 23-May-15 08:56:23

Maybe they really couldn't make the party? I'm not sure what you're saying really - should they have not attended the funeral out of shame for not attending the party?

MrsEvadneCake Sat 23-May-15 09:00:58

I understand Wine. It's a shame he didn't get to spend time with all the people he would have liked to. Nice though that he had you there for him.

ScarlettDarling Sat 23-May-15 09:02:38

I understand what you're saying op , it is sad. I think that we're all guilty at times of taking people we love for granted. His friends would almost certainly have attended the party if they'd thought for a moment that it would be the last time they'd see him, but that probably didn't even occur to them.

I don't think you're being unreasonable to feel sad about this. Sorry about your friend flowers

thehumanjam Sat 23-May-15 09:41:27

I didn't attend my brothers birthday party, it was difficult for me to attend but not impossible. If I had known I wouldn't have got another opportunity I would've been there. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I know your friend was elderly but his friends would've still thought that there would be more celebrations. Nobody wants to believe that this celebration might be the last.

derxa Sat 23-May-15 10:11:48

This is the reason I get so irate on MN sometimes. People always make such a fuss about attending parties and weddings. FGS just go. You never know what is round the corner. I speak as someone whose brother died in an accident at the age of 32. Also heal those ridiculous petty rifts. My brother was not speaking to me at the time of his death (for leaving our country of birth and marrying my husband). It still hurts to this day.

x2boys Sat 23-May-15 12:31:25

Exactly derxa dh dsis died unexpectedly a few weeks ago they had had a massive falling out a few days before and were not talking nobody knows what's around the corner its very sad .

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