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AIBU?

to want to live life to the full?

68 replies

AlmondAmy · 22/05/2015 23:31

DP is very sensible and likes to live life by the rules. I prefer to live day to day and make the most of each one. For example: last year he was here when we got the first snow of the year just before bedtime. The dc were super excited but he told them to calm down and go to bed. This year when the snow first came just before bedtime he wasn't here and the kids and I put our wellies over our pj's and had a fab time.

This week it's been sunny here so I've ignored the ironing and the dc and I have been out playing all day everyday. Yesterday we finished dinner and he started telling them to calm down etc but it was a lovely evening so I suggested the park so they could run off some steam. He huffed and puffed and it was like he was the tired grumpy toddler of the bunch.

I like the kids having great days everyday but he says he finds it too exhausting and pretty much said I make him sick because I always have time/energy for them. I also have time for him but he falls asleep by 10 despite doing about a tenth of what I do during the day. Aibu to want to live life without constraints?

OP posts:

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Shinyshoes2 · 22/05/2015 23:33

You crack on love it all sounds marvellous

EatShitDerek · 22/05/2015 23:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laquitar · 22/05/2015 23:37

I thought by 'sensible' you mean money matters, work, health etc and i was going to say YABU.
But reading your examples YANBU.

Is he working very long hours or is his personality ' lukewarm'? If the latter i dont blame you for feeling fed up.

RusticBlush · 22/05/2015 23:38

Yep - enjoy every minute!
I could have wrote your post as I'm more 'animated' than my dh but the more I've thought about it I've realised that we actually take it turns with things we're most excited about - ie sport with him

26Point2Miles · 22/05/2015 23:40

So he's out working all day and comes home to find he's expected fall in with your plans?

26Point2Miles · 22/05/2015 23:41

Yabu... Life does have constraints, and a good parent will make their kids aware of them

AuntyMag10 · 22/05/2015 23:42

He seems to be the working parent and you sound like a sahp?

SurlyCue · 22/05/2015 23:43

Im amazed you have the energy because he sounds like a real drain! Keep on doing what youre doing. Guess which one your DCs will remember fondly (it wont be the night dad told us to calm down )

Plumpeduppillows · 22/05/2015 23:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlmondAmy · 22/05/2015 23:45

When he's working he blames his lack of enthusiasm/tiredness on work, when he's off he blames it on being relaxed...! He's forever telling the kids to calm down, sit down, be quiet, stop dancing etc.

Some of the best memories I have with the kids are random unplanned things - like we were driving and sawa park with water fountains that we weren't going to be driving near again anytime soon so we pulled over and they stripped and went in in their underwear. Things like that would never happen if he was there.

OP posts:

MrsTedCrilly · 22/05/2015 23:45

Carry on as you are, would much rather have you as a parent! I'm sure you don't let them run riot all the time and there are rules when needed, but it's great to be spontaneous.. Life is for enjoying!

RusticBlush · 22/05/2015 23:45

^^ there's always one.
26point did the op say it was always after he'd been working all day?

ilovesooty · 22/05/2015 23:47

There's probably a compromise or happy medium somewhere.

In what respect does he do about a tenth of what you do all day?

RusticBlush · 22/05/2015 23:47

X post

AlmondAmy · 22/05/2015 23:49

It's no different when he's working or on holiday/leave. I'm on maternity leave and up several times per night but still find the energy to play with the kids. It pisses me off that he apparently can't. He holds the baby, at most, and the other dc wouldn't even dream of asking him to play because they've been told no so many times.

OP posts:

MargoReadbetter · 22/05/2015 23:51

Maybe he's exhausted or depressed. He sounds tired.

AlmondAmy · 22/05/2015 23:52

ilovesooty - if we're both off, I'll get up, get all the kids ready, do the school run, walk the dog, play, organise, discipline etc all day. He just tags along and makes the odd cup of tea but is apparently exhausted by it all by bedtime...!

OP posts:

AuntyMag10 · 22/05/2015 23:52

So you are full of energy, not everyone is this way he sounds exhausted or may even be depressed. It's not a competition about who's the fun parent.

26Point2Miles · 22/05/2015 23:53

Yeah rustic .... Pretty much!

And a previous partner is right op, you make it sound like a competition. I feel sorry for him

26Point2Miles · 22/05/2015 23:54

*poster .... Silly mistake there,guess im tired ( been at work all day)

ilovesooty · 22/05/2015 23:55

What about when he's working (in terms of the amount done)?

I assume you haven't always been so different?

Dowser · 22/05/2015 23:55

Sounds like a miserable young grump to me.

Life is to be lived. For some of us it's cut short. When m on my deathbed I want no fucking regrets. I want to have lived life to the max.

Somedays I can barely climb out from under the duvet tonight I've had a ball. Two double vodkas and a load of laughs.
I might suffer for it tomorrow . I might not .
Done let him suck the joy out of their childhoods.

I'm 63. We've been planning my hen night tonight. Sounds like I don't have a choice , tutus and tiaras will be worn.

Ok, bring it on I say.

For one night only.

Next time it snows lovely, make the biggest snowball you can and stick it down his jumper!

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AlmondAmy · 22/05/2015 23:57

He isn't bloody exhausted! He hasn't done anything all day today but was still asleep 5 mins after the kids and grumpy with them all day.

OP posts:

Iflyaway · 22/05/2015 23:59

Life is for living!

You sound wonderful. And giving your kids great memories for the future...

Don't forget that....

MargoReadbetter · 22/05/2015 23:59

So why would a healthy man go to bed at 8 pm and fall asleep immediately unless he was tired or I'll or depressed?

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